SNAAATCH! SNAAAAAAAAATCHHHHH!
Okay, okay, that might be a bit of an overstatement. But check out this Guardian I mean Independent op-ed by Howard Jacobson and try to determine who he hates more: men or women?
Jacobson is weighing in on terror suspect Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab (AKA the Crotch Bomber), and theorizing that the problem is not Islamist ideology itself (“religion is just a smokescreen”), but the sexual frustration of men in their prime (?), who are utterly at the mercy of their dangly bits. Jacobson even implicates himself:
What I remember about being a young man was how little choice I had. The impulses that drove me were not mine, I was simply the host body. I didn’t know it at the time but I see clearly now that my genes were urgently seeking replication at the behest of the human race itself. If mankind were to continue, I had to continue it. Not only me, of course. All of us that age. But you feel it as an injunction laid on you alone. This thing I must do, else I have no function and humanity no future.
We get it, chief. You’re horny.
Deprived of the opportunity for adequate wick-dipping, by, say, sex-hating mullahs (or uppity bitches), dudes develop what can only be regarded as testeria, a severe weakening of the brain leading to radical, desperate acts of destruction, like sticking plastic explosives in their underpants.
Understood in this way…Umar is merely acting out what evolution tells him.
In other words, biologically speaking, all young men are possible terrorists, provided they don’t get enough of that sweet, sweet pussy. It’s Science!
The author’s solution?
If you’re a man you don’t fly before you’re 30, is my proposal. And you don’t go to university. You go out, get pissed, and have a lot of sex. That way we’ll all sleep more safely in our beds.
I’m sure Jacobson thinks he’s made a funny–oh, we men! we’re incorrigible!–but what he’s doing, in addition to insulting men as no more than zombies in search of muff, is treating women (or rather, their holes) as things to be distributed as a) inoculation against male violence and/or b) a reward for not killing people.
So, to recap: young men are rampaging maniacs whose aggression must be channeled, and young women are appropriate targets. This is what Jacobson calls “the bright side.”
I don’t know what’s up with my browser, but that link’s taking me to the Independent, NOT the Guardian.
Otherwise…yeah, and check out his idiot article about what’s wrong with civil liberties activists as well.
depresso, you are right. And I am quite possibly nuts (and how are you the first to notice?). I fixed the reference and offer my apologies for being asleep at the switch.