Footie sez: Hairy Legs are Zzzzzzzzzzzz... Via PhDork.
I started writing this post back in November, but got distracted with more timely things, real life things, etc., but with the recent hoopla about Teh Horror! of Mo’Nique’s unshaven! legs! at the Golden Globes!, I seems like it’s time to dig it out and dust it off.
In my bio, I mention that I could be considered something of a cartoon, and my reticence to mow my walkers on a regular basis is part of that. Although I don’t usually consider myself a contrarian-just-t0-be-a-contrarian, every sexxxy, hairless, nekkid-lady ad telling me that love and happiness is just one scrape away makes me want to do my calves up in cornrows out of spite.
But on top of that, I got all kinds of reasons:
It’s easier. Duh. Shaving/waxing/depilating/whatever the hell else I’m supposed to be doing to render myself slightly less disgusting to the world takes time. I remember learning some years ago that my own mother (now 63 years old) still shaves in the shower every day. Everyday? For, say 45 years? What else could you do with that time?
It’s cheaper. Ditto, and double ditto. Also, have you noticed that shaving cream marketed to women is wildly more expensive than that marketed to men? Compare the ingredients and you’ll find no significant differences–menthol vs. fake raspberry scents, perhaps, and of course black vs. pastel packaging. On drugstoredotcom, I can see that 7 ounces of Aveeno Positively Smooth (for gals, Allure magazine-approved!) is $4.29; the same amount of Nivea for Men is $2.47. (If you do shave, you might consider this the next time you hit the store.)
Pants. It’s January. And even when its not, I usually wear pants. And even when I don’t, I usually wear tights. And even when I don’t, I usually don’t care.
I’m an old unmarried lady. I know the fact that I’m not “on the market” has something to do with my willingness to cast off the razor. The dude gets that I have leg hair and all sort of other unsavory, non-porn-approved qualities, and he has yet to cast me off. I doubt leg hair is my least savory quality, anyway.
Say something. I dare ya. All the time I save by not shaving I use coming up with devastating comebacks to Nosy Parker busybody assholes.
Now, to be totally honest, I do still occasionally shave. I will shave before Sister Dude’s wedding next summer. I shaved before spending the day at a water park with the Dude Family last summer, and before spending a weekend with PapaDork and that part of the family at a resort in Florida. I will shave, that is, in anticipation of a lot of bare-leg time with less fur-friendly family. (Strangers I don’t care about; I know that my appearance is already fair game to the man-on-the-street.) And were I to ever have occasion to walk a red carpet, I’d probably shave then, too.
Now lest my anti-shaving sentiment gets someone’s back up, let me be clear: my choice not to shave is not to make you feel guilty, or less feminist, or (maude forbid) judged. I make all kinds of compromises with the Big P–we all do–but I’ve learned that what I get from shaving (smooth, stranger-approved legs for approximately 8 hours) is not worth what I give up (the aforementioned time, money, and the sense that my body hair is morally neutral). So shave, don’t shave, whatever, you’ll get no shit from me. But if you start talking trash about “gross” and “dirty” and the like ? It’s on.
So: rock on, Mo. And rock on, my yetis.
LOL, I forgot about the epilady!! My college roommate bought one. Before she had a chance to test it out, I grabbed it and did a demo on my hairy arm. You could hear the motor slow down as it tried to yank out my arm hair. I don’t think she ever used it.
When I was in college, I was at the Goodwill looking for a cheap vase, and noticed an ENTIRE SHELF full of Epiladies! My first thought was “thank god I never bought one of those things!”.
Then years later I bought something that was supposed to be an improvement (like a shaver, but little rotating discs). It was a torture device.
I’ll never be taken in again. Whoever invents a non-stinky non-burning non-painful way to remove hair is going to be the richest person on the planet!
It’s reassuring to read that so many others are of dark and hairy French-Canadian descent. I shave my legs about once a week and other various areas on my body that bug me – since my skin is so pale and my hairs are so damn dark. Anyway, I once got into a Facebook fight with some dude who tried to claim that anyone who didn’t remove all hair from their body – male or female – was gross and unhygienic! Oh, it was a smack down. My friends and I all chimed in and called bullshit. He deleted the whole thing in shame a few hours later. I feel sorry for his poor wife!
Is it Pilgrim Soul bringing all the French Canadian readers around? Or am I just surrounded by them on the internet all the time without knowing? Welcome, my hairy sisters!
Why are French-Canadians so hairy? I’ve never heard of this. Not that it comes up in casual conversations…
Just a note for you pale-skinned, dark-haired sisters out there: if you’re trying to kick the razor habit but don’t like the peppered-legs effect, you might consider any either of the following things:
1. Painfully press the leg-hair re-set button and get those suckers waxed. Once. What grows back will likely be lighter and finer. And the pain factor might make you more likely to accept your fur as-is. (It’s worked for me!)
2. You subject your legs to faarrrrr more scrutiny than anyone else on the planet. You may feel self-conscious about “little dots,” but you’re probably the only one that’s looking.
I was not aware until now that French-Canadian genes were hairy? The More You Know!
I do tend to shave, mostly because I almost never wear pants. Not every day though. Or even close to it. I lack self-discipline. But like SarahMC says, I’ve been doing it so long it’d be weird not to do it in my patriarchy-addled brain now. Also it’s useful because it reminds me to moisturize my winter-dry skin before it literally starts flaking off round this time of year.
My female friends really vary on this though, even outside the internet-feminism circles. I know a lot of women who just can’t be bothered. It doesn’t bother me at all.
Jinx PhDork!
I’m not French-Canadian, but I do have the light-skin-dark-hair thing going on. I started shaving in middle school, and did a couple of times a week pretty consistently up until last year. Then, I didn’t shave from about August of last summer until about a month ago. I just decided to try it again, cause I had forgotten what smooth legs felt like. It was weird. I decided that I felt pre-pubescent, and I couldn’t wait for my hair to grow back.
Is it the cold climate that makes French-Canadians so hirsute? I’ve always blamed my Ashkenazi forebears for my hairy-ness–all those centuries huddled in the icy shtetls of Eastern Europe must have led to some evolutionary changes…
Of French-Canadian decent here as well!
I only shave my legs for special occasions or when the hair gets so outrageous I can’t stand the feel of it getting tugged around in my pants legs. I run — a lot, but will pretty much shave only for races; it helps me to be more aerodynamic. Can’t stand cold climates, so I live in the South; but my hair growth never has acclimated to Florida. You’d think it would slow down or something.
@Smooth Away Hair Remover:
It is really fine grade sandpaper, finer than an emery board, so it didn’t cut me up and it did remove a bit of hair on my arm. There was a warning on the pack that said diabetics shouldn’t use it, I’m sure that was because of the slow healing factor.
My main complaint was it cost $10 for what is essentially less than a regular size sheet of sandpaper, which you can by at the home repair store 3 for $4. So, not only are they telling you to sandpaper your legs, they ripping you off for the privilege.
[...] of course, we must have a hairy-legged feminist post! Here’s PhDork with Wave Your Legs in the Air If You Got Hair posted at The Pursuit of [...]
[...] of course, we must have a hairy-legged feminist post! Here’s PhDork with Wave Your Legs in the Air If You Got Hair posted at The Pursuit of [...]