Tuesday, January 26 marks the 1-year anniversary of The Pursuit of Harpyness (omgcanyoubelieveit?), so each day this week, we’re gonna have ourselves a little introspective seminar about the experience thus far. Join us for some omphaloskepsis, won’t you?
What was the most surprising thing you learned or experienced during the past year?
BeckySharper: I have to say, I wrote one post that led to something transformative but utterly unexpected. In October wrote a post about how my father called me a slut and how hurt and angry I was–not expecting that he would read it (he knew about the blog but had never seemed particularly interested in it). He was absolutely furious and deeply wounded, both by what I’d written and by how harsh some of the comments were. This led to a very emotional showdown that, frankly, had been a couple decades in the making. As painful as it was for both of us, it was cathartic and I think our relationship was made stronger and more understanding because of it.
(Don’t look for the post now, though. While I absolutely stand by what I wrote, it was a real thorn in my father’s side, so out of consideration for his feelings, I deleted it.)
PhDork: It’s weird, though, how being a feminist on the internet has made me more of a feminist–or at least a louder feminist, whatever–in life. Writing and reading with you and our readers have honed my spidey-senses, and I’m much less tolerant of sexist bullshit. Of course, it’s also meant that I can’t enjoy certain things like I used to.
BeckySharper: I completely agree about how being a feminist on the internet affects IRL sensibilities and interactions. I am definitely more outspoken on feminist issues and much quicker to call out sexist behavior. The downside is that things which I might have shrugged off in the past now get under my skin more. But I can live with that.
sarah.of.a.lesser.god: I’ve learned never to expect a certain volume of reactions on a given post, and that the posts you might least expect to touch a nerve are the ones that generate a huge amount of discussion.
BeckySharper: So true.
PhDork: Well, some things are fairly safe bets, like porn, but you’re right. It’s been a good experience for me about learning to let go of fears of “how will this land?” Who knows? Throw it out there.
SarahMC: I am pleasantly surprised that my boyfriend is interested in, and keeps up with, the blog. It’s comforting to know I have his support in this endeavor.
PhDork: Do you think his reading it has had effects on him IRL, or in your relationship?
SarahMC: It’s lead to him asking me, “You bloggin’ it again?” when I’m paying too much attention to the computer and not enough to him, heh.
PhDork: Promising!
SarahMC: I am surprised we have not had an influx of trolls like most other feminist blogs do.
PhDork: Does that mean we’re doing something right, or something wrong?
BeckySharper: I dunno. Maybe they fear our harpy talons? I guess this is the rare exception to the usual blogosphere rule that all attention is good attention; I’m totally fine with not getting troll-ish attention. I feel like we get a lot of on-line love from like-minded bloggers, and I feel great about that.
Thank you harpies, you all teach me every day. Since it’s one thing to read stuff and another to do stuff, I’ve taken on an explicitly feminist project in the last 2 months, because you all inspire me.
Word, rodriguez. It’s been a pleasure and an intellectual treat to read your posts and the responses to them. Even within committed feminism, there is a spectrum of opinion, and it’s always instructive to be reminded of that.
Harpyness is currenly the ONLY feminist blog I read, because I simply don’t have energy for internet infighting, like on most other blogs. I so appreciate that. Plus, the smaller venue makes for getting to know the bloggers and commenters, which leads to a reluctance for dissing others.
I adore the vast variety of posts here, from personal, to large issues, to fun things.
Happy Blogaversary!
Happy birthday, Harpyness! This is 100% my favorite site to visit and to chat on — the community here is amazing, welcoming, and fun. I look forward to future posts and great discussions!
I don’t comment much due to the fact that I work crazy hours and usually catch up with you guys in a massive read-a-thon once a week but I did want to say how much I enjoy the blog. I also really enjoy the comments and feel like I know some of you guys. So here’s to you and here is to your first year!
Congratulations, Harpyness! Thank you so much for everything you do here. I hope you have a fun celebration planned!
I echo other commenters – a big reason I read this blog is the overall civil tone in a lively but considerate commentariate. I think it’s a testament to the overall atmosphere of the site – intelligent, compassionate and supah-funny.
Your blog and its participants feel like a good old consciousness-raising session, like bunches of us came together and tried to figure out how to do back in 1970. I’ve found your blog energizing, stimulating, inspiring, and often insightfully hilarious. It also has a unique quality of coziness and respectfulness about it and all the participants. I read it everyday and I have to say I adore you all.
Thank you and Harpy 1-year Birthday!
Congrats everyone. I’ll add that this blog always stands out to me for the fact that it often has a different and interesting take on stories plus I agree that I like the civil tone. I just wish i had more time to post then I currently do.
Happy Blogday dears!
I bookmarked you almost as soon as you started and I greatly enjoy your output.
Delurking here to say congratulations to you all, and to take the opportunity to tell you that harpyness is one of my favourite blogs; your posts are fun, smart, compassionate, thoughtful and grounded in Real Life, and I’m very glad I found your blog.
I have been reading this blog since Feministing linked to it a year ago. If I could only choose one Feminist blog to read this would be it.
I will second (or third or fourth?) one of the reasons I like this blog is just the civility in it. Even when people disagree it is still done respectfully, and I love it.
I also tend to not get to comment as often as I would like due to generally reading late at night…but slow day at the office today, so happy anniversary!
Congratulations on a great first year! You’ve made the internet a better place.
Congratulations! I’ll add to the general kudos for the level of civility. I’ll also add that this blog and its commenters have made me feel more comfortable with the compromises I’ve made with the patriarchy. Where before I could be very defensive about being a SAHM (it’s really the best financial decision for our family!) or wearing a big diamond (I didn’t care one way or another!), now I can be more honest (It was easier than fighting for better hours or figuring out who would cook! My husband comes from an old-fashioned family and it doesn’t hurt me to wear the diamond of ownership) about why I made the decisions I did without feeling guilty. Some other feminist blogs just added to the guilt, and here, the level of acknowledgment that we all make compromises has helped me admit it to myself.
Congrats, I had no idea this site was so young! I give you ladies props for keeping up with posts. Since finding this site I have bookmarked it online for fast watching.
One of my new favorite activities after work is to come
home, strip it off and have a nice little something from the fridge while I read whatever new thoughts and ideas people are willing to share.
But harpies, I’m still waiting for the navels…
MM, my belly-button is a small shallow innie with a tendency to collect lint in the wooly-sweater winter months. No lotus, though.
@Pilker and Ocean_breeze, I second, third, …, nth your comments.
I also like that that there seems to be women from outside of North American who come and comment. I enjoy hearing about what’s happening in the US politically, and also what’s happening around the bits of the world where other harpy commentators are from.
Congratulations harpies! Happy birthday!
Delurking just to say “happy blogaversary!”
Just wanted to chime in to say thanks to the Harpies for keeping this space going, and to the commentors for adding their equally insightful voices to the mix. I too enjoy the civility of the discourse, and the cozy feel of the community. And it honestly makes me feel better about the world to know that all you bitchez are out there thinking about, exposing, and taking a stand against misogyny.
Happy Birthday!
I agree with everyone else – Harpyness is a breath of fresh air in blogging because it really is such a civil forum. Not to mention the consistently high quality of the posts. You’ve really made me think about some issues that hadn’t caught my attention before and assuaged my insecurities about others (disliking heels!).
I don’t know if anyone will see this, but I’m delurking to say that your use of omphaloskepsis has made my day. I no longer desire to quit my job and go back to bed.
Happy Anniversary, Harpies!
Thanks, Dorkie, but a picture is worth a thousand…well, maybe not.
Congratulations guys. I think that part of what keeps the conversation really open and non-defensive or attacking here is that the editors seem to be in conversation with each other as well as us commenters, whereas other blogs feel more like they are producing posts for us to consume and largely back their fellow editors and don’t reveal internal disagreement or dissent. Kudos to the editors for questioning yourselves and each other and giving us a safe space to do the same. I also like how it doesn’t have ads or feel like it is involved in the sale of anything. Although I certainly wouldn’t blame you if you did go that way, I enjoy what feels like an anti-capitalist as well as antisexist internet zone.
Congrats! I love this blog and lack of fighting. It’s truly a breath of fresh air and I’m so glad I finally began commenting on it.
Congratulations, my favorite electronic feminists. Not that you all are robots or anything, just that’s how I get you. Electrically. Into my eyes via electric transmission. Or something. The one-year anniversary is paper. Ironic? I’m not even sure at this point. ANYway…
Yeah for Harpies!!
Delurking to say congratulations! I followed you lovely commentors over from a certain large female-oriented blog and am so glad I did! And I have to say, finding out on the Jez name post that BeckySharper shares my name made me more happy than I probably should be!
@Rachel: Aw, thanks!
Happy Blogoversary! I can’t believe it’s been a year already . . . time really flies.