Pygmalion and Galatea, 2010. Via CNN.
Because nothing else of import is going on in the world, yesterday CNN broke the story of the latest in expensive, hi-tech fuck dolls. Yes. A story about fuck dolls on CNN. Specifically Roxxxy, a $7,000, 5′7″, 120-lb, alarmingly lifelike talking sex robot.
Prepare to be deeply skeeved by the details:
A motor in her chest pumps heated air through a tube that winds through the robot’s body, which Hines says keeps her warm to the touch. Roxxxy also has sensors in her hands and genital areas — yes, she is anatomically correct — that will trigger vocal responses from her when touched. She even shudders to simulate orgasm.
I just shuddered too, when I read that. But from wanting to dry heave.
Roxxxy improves on previous generations of inert fucktoys by being programmed with interactive voice-recognition and speech synthesis software. Creepy-ass Losers Customers who buy the Roxxxy robot can also have “conversations” with her:
She even comes loaded with five distinct “personalities,” from Frigid Farrah to Wild Wendy, that can be programmed to suit customers’ preferences.
Stereotypes are hawt! One wonders why the makers didn’t just install a dial that could be turned from Virgin to Whore. Basically, a guy gets to pick the stereotype that gets him off, and “interact” with the doll accordingly.
And speaking of stereotypes:
In a recent monologue, Jay Leno expressed amazement that a sex robot could carry on lifelike conversations and express realistic emotions.
“Luckily, guys,” he joked, “there’s a button that turns that off.”
Oh STFU with the tired sexist shit, Jay, before I kick your ass like the Nielsen ratings.
But as crazy as all this sounds, there are apparently a lot of potential emotionally stunted weirdos customers lined up:
Roxxxy won’t be available for delivery for several months, but Hines is taking pre-orders through his Web site, TrueCompanion.com, where thousands of men have signed up.
“They’re like, ‘I can’t wait to meet her,’ ” Hines said. “It’s almost like the anticipation of a first date.”
Hines believes that Roxxxy is a step above other love dolls — the similar but mute RealDoll costs about $5,500 — because her conversational abilities provide something close to emotional companionship. His customer base? Shy, awkward or older men who “have trouble meeting girls,” he says.
Shocking. I’m going to go out on a limb and say they’re not likely to start meeting them once they’ve paid $7,000 for a fully programmable hi-tech sex doll.
In the interest of gender equality, though, TrueCompanion is developing a male sex robot, named Rocky. Stay tuned.
Oh Becky, you sultry minx. Stop falling in love with me. I already have a commitment: to my LoveBot!
Can you fucking imagine if–by some miracle–a woman wound up dating a guy who had one of those? I mean, what would he SAY?
And it’s not like the damn thing’s easy to hide–it’s the size of a full-grown woman. Picture it…visiting your new flame’s house for the first time, open the closet door and…..EEEEEEEEEK!
Becky, I think you know something was up before you found the doll. The first clue would be when he kept trying to switch your dial to a different personality at dinner.
I get masturbatory aids – I do. A little something extra to help ya out. But, a doll? Somehow it doesn’t seem masturbatory anymore. It seems like something you maybe wanna talk to your therapist about.
So, Living Dolls taken to the next level. As I commented somewhere else, I don’t think this is what Isaac Asimov had in mind when he came up with The Three Laws of Robotics.
yvanehtnioj for the win!
Yes, all yvanehtnioj’s comments today have been full of WIN.
Ugh, yes. I started having this conversation when the Real Dolls came out. Although, I suppose that we women should all just be grateful that guys who want mute/pre-programmable sex partners who can’t/won’t resist or fight back are buying these dolls and leaving US THE FUCK ALONE!!!!
First of all, I have to say that post title is awesome (very punny!)
And also, JEEZUS that makes for expensive masturbation sessions.
The dial to switch from Virgin to Whore – best line ever Becky! I was rotfl at everyone’s comments. Must now pass the link around to my lady friends so we can all have a laugh.
Also…and this is a really disgusting thought, so consider yourselves forewarned…
How would the owner of said doll, uh, clean it? After he’s…done?
Found the YUCKIEST part in the FAQ at their website (be prepared to bleach your brain after reading):
“Share your girlfriends with your friends by swapping them back and forth online! For example, you lend your custom built girlfriend “Sexy Sally” to one of your friends online – but he can only “use” her until Sunday morning and then she needs to be returned to you! Until Sunday morning, he can “engage” your girlfriend by using your Sexy Susan personality with his Roxxxy sex robot! You also have the option of sharing your girlfriends with everyone in our forum if you would like. You will also have access to everyone else’s girlfriends, if they allow them to be shared!
This is the same as wife or girlfriend swapping without any of the social issues or sexual disease related concerns!”
BLECH!!!!!!!!!
Thanks, Ms. M. I was on the fence about this, kinda, in the sense that, well, buying such a robot doesn’t necessarily make you a raging misogynist. But the FAQ shows me this company is sexist as hell.
PS: Is it really impossible to catch something from a sex doll? Not even flu?
I read an article in the latest Marie Claire about Japanese men who carry on long-term ‘relationships’ with 5ft long pillows printed with an anime woman/girl – sexualised, scared faces, no panties, sailor moon outfits, etc. The picture is often of a character from an actual anime series, and to the men of course, they are their real girlfriends. One man admitted he would prefer to have an actual person as a girlfriend, but that she would have to accept his anime pillow as well.
A disturbing documentary about the real dolls that I saw had a middle aged man who lamented the loss of his young bride who left him (I think he married a 21 year old), and he dealt with it by digitally superimposing photos of her face onto photos of him and his doll in sexual positions.
The whole thing is wrong on so many levels.
I really think this says it all:
hmm, the embed didn’t work. Um, go here.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/4510/futurama-anti-robot-propaganda
If only life was more like the movies and the men who used these were all Ryan Gosling and the women they fell for all Emily Mortimer…
One wonders why the makers didn’t just install a dial that could be turned from Virgin to Whore.
Does the dial go to 11?
What kind of conversation could you have with it? http://www.jabberwacky.com/
Is my imagination impoverished? ‘Cause I just can’t understand how anyone could fool himself into thinking a hunk of metal and silicone is something with which he could have a relationship.
And yes, part of me is glad that the horribly emotionally stunted have their expensive wank toys and will spare real women the hazard of their company, but more of me is just completely horrified that their attitude toward women is so transparently hateful.
Women prefer that men who prefer fake women get themselves a fake woman.
@Ms M: AAAAAAGH!!!
Now you can not only own a woman who does everything you want, you can sex traffic her, too!
@PhDork: It’s the contempt for women that really frosts my cookies here. The ideal woman, apparently, is one who says only what you want to hear, when you want to hear it, and provides a wet hole for you to stick it when you’re so inclined. The end. UGH.
I wonder how much these “expensive wank toys” do actually spare real women of the hazard of these losers’ company? Does the robot actually satisfy some urge for the long run? Or is it just a temporary fix that reinforces a man’s idea of woman as object, and ultimately increases his expectation and sense of entitlement to a real woman who acts more like a sex robot? I’d bet that it just makes the problem worse in the long term. Ideally, rather than making objects suited to the maladjusted behavior, we’d be focusing more on how to prevent the maladjusted behavior in the first place. If we stopped raising some men (and women) with the belief that women should be (1) perfectly malleable to meet the wants and needs of men, and (2) tradable like baseball cards, we wouldn’t need sex robots in the first place. Yeah, stating the obvious…
All the (albeit fucking creepy) creativity and intelligence that goes into building something like this, and the pervs still couldn’t think of a cleverer name than Roxxxy? Guess what the triple x means, you guys.
I made the rookie error of reading the comments. Even though, on the whole, they weren’t as bad as they could have been (which is not saying much) – this was my favourite:
“7K sounds really expensive until you consider- no more dates and going to places you don’t want to with a girl you hope you will be able to do it with. … Mr. Hines may already be planning a Roxxxy phase II that can walk and do simple chores. … One thing is certain Roxxxy has no horrible mother-in-law and will never divorce you and take half of everything you own. That alone makes her seem almost cheap by comparison!”
And, of course, by favourite I mean pretty much the vilest thing I’ve ever read. Chores?!? The robot woman finally is granted movement, and top priority is making sure she can iron?!?!
Ick.
Also, while I’d like to believe Roxxxy will keep the creepy ones off the street, I think Tall-In-Heels has it right and it will just make them worse.
I wonder how much these “expensive wank toys” do actually spare real women of the hazard of these losers’ company?
I dunno. I kinda suspect that the men who are buying these are in no danger of actually being in the company of real women, at least, not for any extended period of time. They might be the type who go to sex workers–since what they provide is essentially the same as this robot.
Aaah – and on an EVEN CREEPIER level (if possible), this sex doll made by a creepy man for even creepier customers is ALL OUR FAULT:
“Women need to be easier so we don’t have to have stories like this. YOU SEE THIS STORY ALL YOU WOMEN? JUST SAY YES EVERY ONCE AND A WHILE AND THIS CRAP WON’T HAPPEN.”
(I will stop now)
Everything y’all said.
Also: Frigid Farrah? Adolescent rape dream come true? Gross.
A piece I saw on this had the developer saying something along the lines of “she doesn’t cook or do laundry, but she does everything else.” Yeah.
I’ve no words.
(Does the dial go to 11? ROTHFL!)
@Genstar -
I love the idea of a woman who reads about emotionally stunted men preordering a creepy disgusting proto-human sex toy that costs as much as a small car and can be programmed to dislike the sex you have with it (srsly, frigid? WTF?) and thinks: “I should put out for those guys.” Keep dreamin’, Anonymous Internet Commenter.
@aspiringexpat: That made me snort.
Does it go to 11?
It does if you want it to…big boy.
@yvanehtnioj
Right. Oh my gosh, MY fault?! Sigh, I’m so ashamed. Form an orderly queue, boys.
Dear sweet… Can’t…think…
I heard about this today. Daily we go around the office and pick a current event and discuss what is happening around the world. My sexist co-worker volunteered first and I was thrilled until he told us about this. He concluded his fifteen minutes by looking at me and saying, “careful you’ve been replaced!”
I reminded him that even if he COULD afford one after his SIX child-support payments it would probably break due to unspecified weight limits. That and his entire sex in our species had already been perfected and replaced in womens sex toys, sperm banks, and lesbians armed with the toys.
Honestly…I wonder if they used the new fashion trend in womans beauty and gave her a candy pink moohaha and bleached anus.
“I kinda suspect that the men who are buying these are in no danger of actually being in the company of real women, at least, not for any extended period of time.”
You’re probably right. But they still sit next to you on the bus and try to talk to you over and over even though you’re reading and pointedly ignoring them. Then they get mad and ask you why you’re being such a bitch, and what the hell is wrong with women, I’m such a Nice Guy but all you snotty bitches choose assholes over me, yadda, yadda. They do this to their classmates, co-workers, and women in bars. They ooze red flags not because they’re shy or a bit socially awkward, but because they have a toxic mix of self-loathing, entitlement, and misogyny brewing inside of them. And sometimes they snap and do crazy shit. Not all of them, of course. I’m sure most are harmless enough, but it just takes one. And honestly, even the jackass bugging me on the bus is too much.
True. I guess I was thinking more of dating/sexual interactions than mundane social ones. Of course, dating starts with innocuous social interactions, so inevitably, when these awkward, angry guys ooze contempt and anger towards women even in those situations…well, that’s why they wind up spending $7k on a fuck doll.
Oh Becky, you sultry minx. Stop falling in love with me. I already have a commitment: to my LoveBot!
I have just fallen in love with you. XD
PS my name is Zoe, haha.
I just want it to say: “Mal. Guy killed me, Mal. He killed me with a sword. How weird is that?”
I see it now – one of these days the technology will get so advanced it will gain sentience, rise up and over throw it masters and claim independence. We’ll have popcorn while the creepy men run from the assassin robots with penis removal instruments.
So wrong, it’s all so wrong.
There is a 4 part documentary on YouTube about the Real Dolls and I actually felt a little sick while reading about it. After seeing it, I think that the majority of men interviewed will be chomping at the bit to get an interactive doll.
One man went on and on about how horrible and bitchy real women are, but he’d prefer one if he could get one. Another man, who owned 7- SEVEN!!!- Real Dolls actually started dating a human woman. They filmed the “meeting” where she finds out and sees the dolls for the first time. She said that she would stick it out and the dolls weren’t a reason to leave. After filming (one week later, I think?) she left him. I can’t blame her…
Also, interesting factoid: you don’t have to clean them that often according to one user. You just wait until it starts to smell. YUCK.
Feminizzle: WHAT? YOU WAIT UNTIL WHAT?
No no no no no no no no no no no. NO.
What Dork said.
Also: VOMIT.
As if James Franco’s 30 Rock turn as a man in love with a Japanese body pillow with an anime woman rather than a flesh-and-blood woman was not creepy (although hilarious) enough…
Ohmigod, the creator is from my state. Time to move to New York.
*shudders*
Of all the creepy Whedon storylines they could POSSIBLY bring to life . . .
*brainbreak*
If the developers add a little more in the way of Gigs, Ram and programing the founders of the town of Stepford who survived the “Revenge of the Stepford Wives” would probably be eager to have a pre-programmed life-like sexy robot wife. It seems creepy to me. How can one enjoy being watched and interacted with by an android or high end mannequin unless they are totally insecure megalomanic control freaks. Welcome to a real world Stepford Wives sequel. Now where did my fuck doll wander off to?
“I dunno. I kinda suspect that the men who are buying these are in no danger of actually being in the company of real women, at least, not for any extended period of time. They might be the type who go to sex workers–since what they provide is essentially the same as this robot.”
I tend to think that if this doll would keep creepy men from exploiting the very ‘real’ women who are prostituted, then that would actually be an advantage.
Unfortunately, as it is, Tall-in-Heels is probably right.
Another thing that scares me about this, and I’ve probably been watching too many movies, but what if in a few years the dolls become actual womin! With feelings, like in that movie with the robots coming to life, who don’t want to have sex with them (and really, who would?)? They’d be like test-tube babies, but that doesn’t mean they can’t feel! I’m actually scared for the test-tube-robot babies now.
But I doubt this would stop men treating womin like shit. They think of womin as objects they can own; they’d probably want someone stronger to put up a legitimist fight, just to prove their “manhood” or whatever lame ass term the menz are bandying about.
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