That about sums it up. Via that_james @ Flickr
Superbowl Sunday is as much–if not more–about the flashy, expensive ads as it is the outcome of the game. A lot of the lead-up hubbub was about the Tebow “Abortions Murder Football Heros!” ad, but if one were an alien who landed in the US yesterday afternoon in time for the game, one might have learned the following messages about gender:
- Women and Doritos are of equal value, to be coveted by some men (skeevy would-be boyfriends) and protected by others (aw, cute little boys!), who are their rightful owners.
- Women aspire to be shirt-stripping spokes-objects for web-hosting sites. (This from the only commercial I saw that had women speaking to each other and/or no men at all.)
- Men spend a lot of time walking around without their pants on. This is gross and yet HI-larious. Women who appear without pants are HOT. The less often women wear pants, the better things are.
- Little people are male, and funny-looking. Let us laugh at them!
- Good Women attain their status by birthing (white) ball-throwing male children.
- Life with a woman is an endless parade of emasculating indignities that men endure mostly in silence. This heroism is possible thanks to the dick-hardening properties of a car with a big motor or a portable sports-watching device. This is the hill men will rightfully die upon.
Men talk a lot more. Men do more things. Men are the people whose talking and doing matters.
In other words: welcome to The Patriarchy. Now go get me a beer (bitch).
The commercial that caused Time Magazine’s ad expert to write: “Wow, Super Bowl ad men really hate Super Bowl ad women this year, don’t they?”
http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1960734_1960750_1960769,00.html#ixzz0exKU9YB1
Also from Time Magazine:
Completing the first half’s it-sucks-to-be-a-man trilogy (with Dove and Dodge) CBS’s Jim Nantz brings us an “injury report” on a guy whose girlfriend has “removed his spine,” evidenced by the fact that he’s shopping with her instead of watching the game. The TV-on-your-phone service saves the day. FLO TV: Because chicks suck! Points for good use of deadpan Nantz; points off for forgetting that women make up half the Super Bowl audience.
http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1960734_1960750_1960784,00.html
Nice roundup. Also what was going on with that MetroPCS commercial? After it was over I turned back to my group and said, “Well that was randomly racist” and everyone was sitting with the same look of consternation on their faces. But I haven’t heard anyone else comment on it in the aftermath.
Here are my comments:
Generaly, the ads were uninspired and uninteresting. I do love me some ponies though.
The Tebow ad was a huge nothing. if you didn’t know what it was about, you wouldn’t have know what it was about. As usual, the mainstream pro-choice organizations made fools of themselves and gave the antis a lot more attention than they would have gotten on their own.
Who needs an ad from Mancrunch when there are so many guys running around in their underwear for no apparent reason? Yeah, boys, actions do speak louder.
Shut up, Doritos. Shut up beer, and especially shut up about mocking a group of women trying to have an adult discussion about books.
I had no idea that the bonerkiller problem had reached crisis stage. Quick, menz, get your Dockers, beer, portable electronic sports-transmitting devices, beer, special man-soap, beer, car, and beer! Those will ward off the evil women who are intent on reducing you to a mere package-carrying, chore-performing puppet.
I mean, really, wtf was that about? Our son commented that he was making mental notes about the offending advertisers, so he could avoid their products, and all the men in the room were embarrassed by the sheer misogyny on display.
Oh, and as a longtime Who fan, I wish devoutly that they’d hung it up 25 years ago. How have the mighty fallen…
I seriously missed all the commercials. Seriously, I think I spent every commercial break either getting food, getting beer or peeing. I could not be happier about this.
I feel a little sad today b/c I could not bring myself to complain about the two ads Becky pointed out, the spineless one and the Dodge one.
I sat dumbfounded as my husband and son laughed and didn’t have anything to say, so I walked away. I didn’t do much for womanity yesterday.
@rodriguez: It’s not too late!
@mm yeah true, which is why I post the thought here. Encouragement for me from the harpies!
@Rodriguez: The two guys I was sitting next to at the party–both very nice, smart, educated, NY liberals–were laughing at those fucking commercials and I had to figure out whether to bust their bubble or not. I did. I was glad I did, because I do think at the end of the discussion they had reconsidered the commercial and realized why I was offended by it.
No blame that you didn’t want to jump in–sometimes in certain situations it’s Just Not Worth It–but sometimes if you take a deep breath and plunge in, you’d be surprised at how much of a difference you can make. Judging by your comments here, I know you’ve got it in you!
@becky It’s my responsibility it’s my son after all! I live with him, I have the luxury of thinking out over a day exactly what I’ll say. Plus, I’ll crib the best ideas from you guys!
@rodriguez: Hugs of encouragement if you want them! It’s so demoralizing to have men that are so close to you to Not Get It. In my experience, a good way to approach situations like that is to ask them why it’s funny. Much of the time, the conversation will go from there. Women are ball-busting bitchez? Why is that funny? Let them try and stutter their way around answering that. It’s eye opening for both the questioner (you) and the questionee (them).
Plenty of time to speak up, rodriguez–these ads are debuted during the SB, but they’ll be in circulation for some time, both on TV and all over the ‘net. I’m sure there will be opportunities to address it, once you gird your loins. So to speak.
It’s tricky, because after you’ve just been labeled as a castrating, spine-removing bitches, the last thing you want to do is make yourself look like that stereotype. But we’d do it in a minute if it were, say, racist, so speaking up on our own behalf is only what we deserve.
We’ve got your back, rodriguez!
the spine thing is promising. If anyone’s spine was removed it was MINE! at least yesterday. Funny how most things Madison Ave. says are the exact opposite of reality.
Rodriguez, if I were in your situation (with husband and son) I might calmly say, “Is that what dad thinks of me?” to my son.
Another takedown–this time of the Bud Light ad (embedded)–about men and women’s book clubs:
“Let women have their ‘little’ book clubs, which can be easily interrupted on a masculine whim and which women will never dare object to. They will set everything aside to give you head or to serve you beer. And, by the way, if you’re a man, you don’t even need to read to get ahead in the world.
http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/trends/bud_light_super_bowl_ad_offends_book_clubs_literary_bloggers_and_readers_151337.asp?ver=full
Thank you for this oasis of sanity. I tweeted last night that I didn’t like the Dodge commercial, and got called a humorless feminist (by another woman, no less).
Of course, even if I hadn’t found the ad’s theme troubling, I STILL wouldn’t have found rehashed crappy sitcom humor funny, so the label “humorless” doesn’t really to me so much as to the ad.
@Meg- If there’s comfort in company, I basically got accused of weakening the cause of feminism by harping (hah!) on stuff that “doesn’t really matter.” …By a friend, who’s a woman, and normally a pretty thoughtful feminist. Because sexism = fine; calling out sexism = hysterical / alarmist / annoying.
/headdesk
I wrote my blog about this very issue this morning! Perhaps the most interesting outcome of all the ads was a conversation had in the room where I was watching as a result of the careerbuilder “casual friday” ad. I was watching the superbowl with a whole bunch of my husband’s fellow peds residents, and during that ad, no one batted an eye at all the chubby men in tighty whiteys. However, when an equally chubby woman in undies appeared on screen, several of the people in the room, men and women, were all “ewwwww!” One of the other women was like, “Oh really? Chubby men in undies are a-OK but chubby women are gross?” It was pretty badass that she just called everyone out like that, and we all agreed that we were perpetuating a double standard.
@Yvane: Exactly! Don’t talk about it – that makes you a bitch! We just have to all acknowledge it silently and individually and privately resolve that we don’t agree. Because that TOTALLY works.
/headdesk, indeed. oof.
That Dodge commercial doesn’t make a ton of sense. If there exist single men who separate their recycling and take their dogs on early-morning walks…then how are those things emasculating, exactly?
Honestly, it’s just tiresome and I feel like if my team isn’t playing, I have no reason to subject myself to the annoyance. My boyfriend and I bowed out this year to start watching The Wire, so I will ask you guys the most important question: how was the Puppy Bowl?
Oh, and @rodriguez – it can definitely be intimidating to go up against two people alone, even when those two people love you! So picture the whole crowd of Harpies et al at your back cheering.
I found the ads CREEPY. The misogyny pouring out the TV was horrifying. WHAT were the advertisers thinking this year?! Women watch the superbowl too, and make most of the household purchasing decisions, so where were the ads aimed at the people who will actually make decisions to purchase the products?!
The only ads I loved were the Denny’s screaming chickens and the Google ad (which was an oasis in a sea of crap).
@ Ms M: In our market, a local health care agency ran an ad displaying the likely calorie count of a Denny’s-type breakfast, which made the whole series of Denny’s ads look a little different. I’m not much of a fan of screaming chickens anyhow, though.
I lucked out. No one we were watching with laughed at any of those commercials. Not even a pity laugh. I can’t remember exactly which one, but after one of them I turned to my husband and asked, “What’s with all the anxious masculinity commercials?” He said he had no idea and shrugged and one of the other people verbally agreed with me.
Uninspired is right. The tropes in many of the commercials, especially the spineless one, are so old I’m shocked that anyone actually thought it was worth the money to air it during the Super Bowl. They totally should have shown him watching a game on the little TV in church too. No one’s ever done that one! At least, not since, uh, a couple of months ago, maybe? That was with a radio though, or was it a cell phone, so it’s totally different. Next year they should have an ad with someone reciting all of the jokes everyone’s heard since they could understand words. That’ll be just as creative and innovative. What’s black and white and red (read) all over? A newspaper!
Oh man, Rodriguez and Meg and Yvane and everyone — I empathize. I spent the Super Bowl with a bunch of men I didn’t really know, biting my tongue or saying perkily “hmm, that’s not very funny, these ads are so disappointing!” and telling myself “don’t play into the stereotype of being an overreacting, humorless, meany mean mean bonerkilling feminist! pick your battles for maximum effectiveness!”
Then two of them started talking about how hard Mike Tyson’s life was and how everyone was MEAN to him and how the girl he raped was not in fact raped and “totally wanted it,” with a quick transition into how he was just like Tiger Woods, what with the “hos” wanting to have sex with him to get attention and/or money. I almost literally exploded in anger.
I’m not sure if the moral of the story is that these ads create an atmosphere of “women! mean, emasculating, lying bitches!” and that attitude quickly leads to even more explicit hatred for women (and some creepy ideas about black men’s sexuality! for bonus points!), or if the moral of the story is simply “get a few beers in some men and find out the true depth of their contempt for women” but it was super angering and depressing.
(And don’t worry, they were all SUPER good people, because they wanted the Saints to win! Because of Katrina!)
Sorry for the slightly off-topic bitter.
p.s. to baraqiel — the Puppy Bowl, which I watched as it replayed post-Super Bowl, was Teh Awesome and did much to heal my irritated spirits. There were bunny cheerleaders, who did nothing but sleep and twitch their noses! And a kitten half-time show! And PUPPIES!
I feel like all of the defensiveness from men on this subject is part of the increasing desperation to keep some part of society where they can be sexist with complete and utter impunity (besides stand-up comedy and strip clubs and all those other places that they also jealously guard). Like, “Isn’t there one part of life where I can just call women bitches and not have to worry about hurting some woman’s feelings?” To which the answer is, not outside your own head there isn’t — and there shouldn’t be. It’s like Jay Smooth on hipster racism (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpK0Ad8hD0I&feature=player_embedded). Having started confronting sexism or racism or what have you in society doesn’t mean that you then get to stop caring if you hurt people with discriminatory language and messages. You have to keep caring. Forever. All the time. To some people this isn’t a burden or if it is it’s one we’re glad to take on but it seems like to the Super Bowl ad demographic, it’s a huge, scary burden that they want to run away from.
Oh hi, I don’t have a television. What’d I miss?
And yet, baraqiel, as has been pointed out on this thread, we are the ones who do most of the purchasing, and we are a large percentage of the audience for this game. So it’s not even like this is some incursion into an all-male space. It’s a deliberate negation of our existence.
@MM – “So it’s not even like this is some incursion into an all-male space. It’s a deliberate negation of our existence.”
I agree but it’s not constructed that way. I don’t know if there ever was a time when major sporting events were male-only in terms of spectators (except for the original Olympics) but that’s certainly the narrative — back in “the good old days”, men could watch sports in peace and now women are invading and the price of admission is seeing yourself insulted every 5 minutes.
@baraqiel: I agree. In that case, then, at whom do you think the Tebow ad was directed?
The Dodge Charger ad – here’s what gets me… a lot of the things the men are complaining about having to do have nothing to do with the women in their lives. Walking the dog? Well, if you own a dog, even if single, you must walk it. Separating recycling? That’s the city’s requirement, not your wife’s. Being at work at 8 a.m. – pretty sure that’s all about the boss, not the wife or girlfriend. I just don’t see WTF some of those things have to do with women. I mean, I am a woman, and sometimes I get tired of having to wipe my own toothpaste out of the sink, take out my recycling, show up at work and do errands. But it’s not some vast conspiracy – it’s just stuff that adults have to do for themselves. Yeah, it can be a total downer, but it’s just life – for both sexes. And I don’t really feel like I deserve a new car because I remembered to put my socks in the hamper (for the record, I am slovenly on a level that rivals frat dudes, so that is actually a big achievement for me).
So yeah – fail, because I don’t really see what women have to do with some dudes being depressed by the mundane realities of life. Heck, I’M depressed by the mundane realities of life sometimes too, but as I’m not a dude, I can’t just conveniently blame it on women and imagine that my life would be better otherwise.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Houeida , Nicole Nascenzi, KaeLyn Rich, FrostKitty, Amanda W and others. Amanda W said: There was more misogyny than usual this year RT @BitchMedia "What We Learned from the Super Bowl Ads" http://bit.ly/9wrD1C [...]
Hm…let me see if I can’t coalesce a little of this. I think that flackette makes a pretty good point about the car commercial: some of those were clearly directed at women and some were just sort of random shots into the dark. It’s also pretty obvious that, as many people have said, the complaints overall are hackneyed, widely discredited, plainly anti-woman sentiments that should have lost their effectiveness long ago from sheer repetition alone if not also their patently ludicrous content. There are some things I’d like to add, though, that people seem not to have touched on.
First of all, just getting this out of the way, the…format or structure of the joke in the Jim Nantz “spine removal” commercial I thought was actually pretty clever. It’s a crying shame that they wasted it on something so puerile, but if that same kind of joke had been in a different context I would’ve found it pretty funny (dems on healthcare? something). Just saying.
I also want to point out that a man feeling frustrated is just as valid as a woman feeling frustrated. It’s more the reaction that I’m concerned about, because I think it’s fair to be annoyed that you have to e.g. shave. But that doesn’t have anything to do with women, right? Well…sort of?
Certainly women aren’t the reason that dogs need to be walked or lawns need to be mowed or whatever. Blaming women, or even implicating women, in that stuff is thus at least a little insane. But, much as this would pain some people to admit, women have a valuable place in the de-stressing process for most men, as I suspect that men do for women. Insofar as that works, great, but somewhere along the line – and I have a semi-morphous guess about when this happens – many men decide that they can’t involve women in at least some specific problems they have, which again I suspect goes the other way as well. I think it’s also fair to be frustrated about that: especially since women are constructed to be the better listeners and more empathetic and so on (but not just because of this!), it’s understandable that men should get frustrated with the women in their lives for not being available to help with situations that don’t admit of another easy solution. It’s just, again, that taking that frustration and making these commercials – or, perhaps, making these commercials in order to appeal to that frustration – is a particularly vicious thing to do.
After I explained what a hemi engine is to my BF we talked about how I’d have to find another car and soup it up. Dodge lost my business forever with one shot. I’ll be sure to never have Bud Light at my bookclub since some loser might intrude, and Dockers can keep their pants if they think only men wear them. These ads were degrading to women and men (The “Stupid Husband” and “Whipped by a Strong Woman” stereotypes of men…) I’m talking with my wallet.
@flackette: Exactly my thoughts, too. According to Dodge, if I’m a dude, merely showing up for work and having a basic grasp on the concepts of responsibility and common human decency entitles me to a new car. Okaaaay…
On a hopeful note, I watched about half the game with my husband, and to my delight he was the one picking apart a lot of the ads to point out the lame misogyny. Although he’s always been really good about rejecting big gender stereotypes, he tends to miss or disregard the “little” stuff. But since I started reading Harpyness (and a few other feminist websites), I’ve made it a point to discuss the posts with him almost every evening. He’s been super receptive, and we’ve had a lot of really long, productive talks. I can really see how it’s affected his thinking in a positive way. Hooray Harpies!
My misogynist radar was sparked by about the third commercial. I gave it the benefit of the doubt for the first couple. Then I actually started keeping track of the commercials and how many men were center actor and how many women. Women didn’t even reach half as many men. Also, I kept track of what the women’s roles were in the commercials — moms, pregnant or having babies, jealous, castrating, sex objects, petty. There was a movie trailer for a movie about being pregnant and a television preview called “the good wife.” I counted at least 15 to 20 babies in commercials and only 2 of them were little girls and one was “jealous” of and one was “cheating” with little boy baby. Carmax commercials had women announcers but the commercials also had animals in the commercial which was the real focus. Also, I’m pretty sure that there were more animals than women in all the commercials put together. I wish I had recorded all of the commercials so I could go back and take some proper notes and ratios. I know this may seem a bit obsessive or intense but, give me a break. My boyfriend even noticed how sexist all of these ads were. To all the people that tell me that we no longer need feminism and that women are not treated any differently than men … open your eyes and watch the superbowl ads. Also, wouldn’t it be a better marketing strategy to appeal to both genders for the bowl? Since many many women watch football, as well?
@larryniven -
“it’s understandable that men should get frustrated with the women in their lives for not being available to help with situations that don’t admit of another easy solution.”
Could you elaborate on this and explain how it relates to the commercial? I’m sure it’s frustrating to have to shave your face and I’ll listen to those frustrations, but short of being a laser hair removal technician there’s nothing I can actually do to fix that. It seems like you’re pointing to a larger problem about communication that has very little to do with the commercial. There’s a difference between communication breakdowns in relationships and one partner being frustrated with another for not being able to do anything about a problem that they have no power to fix in the first place. The former is a legit problem (although not one that can be reasonably addressed in a commercial), the latter is just whining, in my opinion, no matter who’s doing it.
“Could you elaborate on this and explain how it relates to the commercial?”
Which “the” commercial?
“I’m sure it’s frustrating to have to shave your face and I’ll listen to those frustrations, but short of being a laser hair removal technician there’s nothing I can actually do to fix that.”
I’m…not asking you to? If we’re talking about shaving, the de-stressing role for women (if one exists, which seems dubious) is not to shave. It’s to be another source of support and understanding – which, incidentally, is the same role that I suspect men play for women. It’s not unique, but it’s unique because it’s a different gender (I think the same goes, to lesser or maybe greater extents, for people of different races, sexual orientations, and so on). You don’t find that it gets tiresome and uncomfortable when only one narrow demographic understands you? That’s all I’m talking about.
Larry, you are going to need to explain which commercial(s), or which aspects of the commercial(s) you are referring to with the “de-stressing” stuff. You are not being clear.
Sarah, let’s start with a simple question. How do you de-stress?
@larry – In your first comment you make it sound like “de-stressing” means “being there to listen to my problems”, but then in your second it seems to mean … “not doing the same things as me”? What exactly are you trying to say with “de-stressing”?
Okay, wow with the completely condescending tone, Larry. I overlooked the mansplainey “let’s see if I can coalesce some of this” bit, but you need to pull it together. If no one understands you, it’s not because we need to be spoken down to like children, it’s because you’re unclear.
it’s understandable that men should get frustrated with the women in their lives for not being available to help with situations that don’t admit of another easy solution.
No, it’s not understandable that men should be frustrated with women over this. It’s not our job to “be available” and smooth over every bit of unpleasantness and inconvenience in a man’s life. Grow up and handle your own business, gentlemen.
Well, that’s that. Within one comment – one comment! – you all managed to jump right up on my case. No, wait, I’m sorry: not *my* case. Three of the four respondents so far have either put words in my mouth or twisted what I said, which for the record is a pretty terrible way to start a conversation.
Sarah, sorry, but obviously I’m not welcome here. If you’re really curious, come visit me on my blog and we can continue this conversation there. Otherwise, no hard feelings.
The rest of you, grow up.
“Which “the” commercial?”
The Dodge commercial, which is the one I thought your argument was based on.
“You don’t find that it gets tiresome and uncomfortable when only one narrow demographic understands you? That’s all I’m talking about.”
Ehhhh…hmm. That’s an interesting question. Well, first let me say that I think this falls into the communication breakdown bit and not the whining bit. Second, yes, it’s tiresome and uncomfortable — but it’s also the case that no one person is ever going to understand another person perfectly, and that’s not a reasonable thing to expect of an SO. Support and an effort at understanding — definitely reasonable, and it’s both partners’ responsibility to provide that to the other. But…again, I’m not sure how this relates to the commercial, especially because it seemed to me that the narration was expressing a dynamic of zero communication, i.e. “I will carry your lip balm and I won’t like it and instead of telling you that I will buy a truck”.
Oh goodness, I think I just accidentally emasculated someone. I didn’t realize it was so easy! If only I’d listened to the commercials …
Well I’m glad I didn’t waste my time playing Larry’s little game.
Since I assume you’re still reading and becoming enraged by our immaturity, your comments have nothing to do with the content of the commercials that aired during the SuperBowl and no, we’re not going to let you derail the conversation.
“I will get up an hour earlier than you so I can shower, make breakfast and get the kids ready before you even get up, I will make some fruit for your breakfast so you can stay healthy and alive, I will shave almost my entire body for you and pay someone to rip hairs out of my most sensitive parts, I will work 24 hours a day, every day, I will sit through 2-hour midnight feedings, I will let it roll off my back when I’m treated differently in my workplace, I will work just as hard as my colleagues but make much less than half of them, I will say yes (most of the time) even when I don’t feel like it, I will take your call, I will listen to your mindless chattering about sports, I will listen to your friends’ mindless chattering about sports, I will be civil to your mother, I will usually ignore it when you leave the seat up (again), I will go see the Fast and The Furious 27: Badass Tricycles with you, I will do the grocery shopping, I will carry all your crap around in my huge purse that you hate, I will watch your gossipy sports shows, I will wear something cute in bed, I will buy and wear nice—but uncomfortable—underwear, I will diet and work my butt off in the gym so I can look nice for you, and because I do this, I want a little god-damned respect. Respect —(one of) women’s (not-even-close-to-being) last stand.”
- Jezebel’s Comment of the Day
Whadya think of that, Larry?
@larryniven:
I think the problem is that “men” as a collective group think that they have relationships with “women” as a collective group, and therefore, like to talk about how “women” are (annoying) and how “men” are (oppressed by annoying women). When, in reality, we as individuals have relationships with other individuals, period.
Your comment seems to equate men’s frustrations with women not living up to their stereotypical roles, being empathic, having listening skills, etc., etc., when, frankly, those stereotypes are bullshit.
If a person is in a relationship with a woman who is not empathetic enough or not whatever enough, they need to either adjust their expectations or find someone else to be in a relationship with.