Via Julie Danielle @ Flickr.
I’m a pediatrician who specializes in taking care of kids who have been abused, so I have had to learn all about the ins and outs, as they say, of hymens. I think the idea of virginity is useful on a personal level, but I hate how it’s considered a measure of the value of a woman. And I hate how it’s used to sell the message that Sex For Girls Is Bad. Spending time arguing that virginity is really just a cultural construct was really very tiring, so imagine my delight upon learning that science backs me up! I think it’s really important that women and girls understand their bodies and how they work. And I want EVERYONE to learn the truth about hymens so that we can all just get over it already. (Sad to say, when I say everyone, I am thinking of a lot of doctors, including many pediatricians.) So I thank the Harpies for letting me have a platform for one of my favorite topics.
Probably the most common misconception about hymens is that the hymen is a piece of tissue that completely covers the vaginal opening, and that it is “popped open” at first penetration (with a penis, of course). Although lots of people believe this, it completely flies in the face of common sense and most women’s actual experiences – if the opening was completely covered until “first sex,” how would virginal girls menstruate? Menstrual blood flows out of the vagina, so there’s got to be an opening there somewhere. In fact, there is ALWAYS an opening — therefore, nothing to pop open! The hymen is actually tissue that goes around the opening, like a collar. In teens and grown women it looks kind of like a scrunchie – wrinkled when relaxed, but able to stretch quite a bit. From an evolutionary perspective, this makes sense: during reproduction the hymen not only needs to accommodate a penis on the way in, but also a baby on the way out.
Unless you’ve had a very bad injury, your hymen will always be there. It’s made of “mucosal tissue” which is soft wet tissue, like on the inside of your mouth. You use your mouth multiple times a day and nothing gets worn away, right? Your hymen doesn’t get worn away with frequent use either. It’s even still there after a big ol’ baby comes through it.
If you wanted to check yourself out, you need a mirror and good lighting. You are looking for the vaginal opening, which might be hard to see because the hymen tissue does kind of look like a scrunchie, so just like a scrunchie, when it’s relaxed, you can’t always see the opening. If you see the opening, then the hymen is just the tissue around the opening — like the lips are the tissue around the mouth. If you can’t see clearly, you could try looking while you stick a finger in there — then the hymen will be the tissue around your finger.
In very rare cases, a girl is born with the hymenal tissue completely covering the vaginal opening. This is called “imperforate hymen” and it’s a medical problem because when menstruation starts, the blood can’t flow out. In these rare cases, the hymen does need to be opened, and it’s done as a little surgical procedure by an OB-GYN.
Another misconception that comes up over and over is that a doctor or other official coochie checker can look “down there” and be able to tell whether or not a woman is a virgin. Again, pretty much no. I’m simplifying a little bit here, but: the hymen can be injured during first penetration, but it usually heals up. Occasionally, the healed injury can still be seen and then it would be considered evidence of penetration. So “virginity checks” are basically bogus. Unfortunately, that does not stop parents from dragging their teenage daughters in and demanding that I check them. Which I refuse to do.
In related news: Women/girls do not always bleed the “first time.” There have been actual studies about this and it seems that about 60% of women bleed, so that means 40% or so (almost half!) don’t. Therefore, absence of bleeding is not proof of anything.
Some people think that any hymen injury that is seen is meaningless anyway because hymens can be damaged by “vigorous exercise” or horseback riding or doing the splits (otherwise known as “straddle injuries”). I like this thought because it seems protective of girls who might be otherwise slut-shamed or worse, but it’s not really true. I’m simplifying again–unless someone wants to discuss the physics of soft tissue injuries–but by my estimate 99% or more of the time falling with the balance beam between your legs does not injure the hymen. Structures around or near the hymen can be injured that way, but not the hymen itself. In the rare case where part of the hymen is injured, the injury generally just looks different than a penetration injury. And, as with other hymen injuries, they usually just heal up.
In a related matter – apparently some people in Florida want to argue against paddling in schools using the argument that it is harsher towards girls because it might damage their reproductive organs. They don’t actually mention broken hymens, but I’m wondering if it’s implied. I am against paddling anyone in school or anywhere else, but I don’t know what these people are talking about. Female reproductive organs, including the hymen, are more protected than male organs because they’re tucked up inside our bodies. If anything, I would worry that harsh paddling might damage a boy’s testicles.
Back on topic — Those of you not bored out of your minds and still reading may be asking yourselves whether you should go ahead with that virginity restoration surgery. The truth is I have no idea what it is those surgeons are doing when they talk about rejuvenating the hymen. A quick google search suggested that they add a piece of tissue (where they get it, I don’t know) over part of the opening so that something will tear and bleed. Or, a few stitches are placed in the tissue to “tighten” it, again so something will rip and bleed. I am guessing this last technique is like stitching the corner of your lips closed so that something rips the next time you open your mouth. So I’m going to go ahead and say that whatever they’re doing, I don’t recommend it.
I could go on and on (and on!), but I think it’s time to stop and take a breath. This topic always gets me worked up. I hope this information was useful and I hope you pass the word about hymens!
Thank you for posting this. The fact that hymens in relation to virginity are still an issue in the 21st century is so ridiculous. This post has helped arm myself for a future conversation I hope I never have to engage in. That being said, I’m wondering if you can elaborate any on masturbation, tampons, etc. in relation to how they may affect the hymen.
Thank you very much for this post. It wasn’t anything I was ever concerned about, but anything where I come away understanding a little more about my body is a gift.
Gah, wish I could go back and edit. I meant help me arm myself.
Great post!
People actually bring their teenagers daughter in for you to check their virginity? That is enormously creepy. What do they say when you refuse? How does this interaction even happen? Like “Hello Doc, I’m worried my daughter’s a slut so can you check to see if she’s still a virgin?”
Pedimd, this was fascinating-thanks!
Man, Florida is just full of crazies, isn’t it?
What purpose do you think the hymen served, that is, if it ever had a purpose?
Docs who have to get between kids and their parents have a tough job. A guy I know who’s an eye surgeon was telling a group of us at a dinner one night about a teenage girl who came in for an eye problem that turned out to be caused by an STD. Her parents had no idea she was sexually active, and, in fact, the dad treated her like his baby doll. It was a messy situation for the doc. Needless to say, when the diagnosis came out, the parents blamed him.
Mucho thanks to pedimd for this post! When I read it, I realized that pretty much everything I thought I knew about the hymen was wrong. Hell, I even thought mine had ceased to exist years ago, but when I followed her instructions and looked around, it was, in fact still there! (Sorry, TMI, but I get enthused about vadge-related info).
I’m going to echo the others in thanking you for your very informative post. It’s hard for me to believe I didn’t know all this before.
This needs to be on the msnbc.com homepage! Seriously. Great post!!
@Cimorene: Unfortunately, overly intrusive parents, the state of your daughter’s hymen will not tell you whether she’s been giving bj’s to her boyfriend-or the marching band.
Oh wow, I learned SO much from this post! I can’t believe I still have my hymen!
Though I do have one question: if you don’t bleed the first time for sex and you go through a long time period of not having sex, is there still a chance that you will bleed?
Thanks for the post. I love learning new things about my body. This reminds me of when I was in high school and I had a friend who was dragged to the doctor by here mom to check if she was still a virgin. She was, but the doctor concluded she wasn’t and told the mom that. I just remember being horrified. I wish I had known this then.
@Shammy: In my experience, even a long dry spell isn’t going to lead to bleeding and pain when you resume having sex, at least, not unless there’s something medically wrong with your ladyparts. If you’re good and aroused, everything should work just fine (also, having a little lube handy never hurts).
Solangel: Oh dear, what happened then? Did the mom ever believe her?
Thanks for this, pedimd, very informative!
Great information! I had no clue about any of this either until recently. I refused to use a tampon until after I became sexually active because somehow I was sure it would pop it, and of course I believed then that this was somehow bad.
@Shammy (with a TMI warning), I do sometimes bleed when I’ve gone a long time between having sex (even after being active for years). Especially with a guy who’s bigger than average, but that’s also because I’ve always been on the tight side.
This is awesome! Thanks so much.
I do have one question, though – if the hymen is so flexible, why does it tear and bleed the first time some women have sex? Is it just that some hymens are wider than others, and therefore cover more of the opening? And, after it’s healed, why doesn’t it tear and bleed again? Like Becky, I can confirm that not having sex for a long time doesn’t lead to bleeding when you finally break the dry spell. (Or, at least, it hasn’t for me.)
So, in other words, what gives? Um, or gives once and then doesn’t need to give again?
And, by sex, I mean vaginal intercourse, with a penis. Sorry for not being more specific above…
This is so fascinating! I assumed I didn’t have one, or “broke” it at some unknowable point, since I never bled. Maybe I’ll go look for it. Hope it’s easier to find than the G-spot. I can never find anything up there.
Pedimd, does the hymen perform a function, or is it just kind of there?
This is fascinating, and very informative. I had always assumed I was one of those people who broke her hymen as a child, because intercourse was relatively easy the first time. I even remember being about six or seven and telling my mom it hurt “down there” after a gymnastics class. I guess I just pulled a muscle in my groin or something. I’ll have to have a look!
I can’t believe that people actually bring their teenage daughters in to “check” for their virginity. Jesus Christ. Honestly they have no right, what about doctor-patient confidentiality?
@Spark: have you looked behind the refrigerator?
@bluebears: I totally agree. I’m disgusted with the parents and feel for the children. What kind of person does this?
Thanks for the interesting article. I recently saw a movie called Caramel (English title). The main characters are women who work in a beauty salon in Beirut.
I was going to go into more details about how this movie relates to your post until I realized it would involve a pretty big spoiler. Anyway, those who want to read more can go to http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0825236/
I think the movie is playing on cable on the Sundance channel.
AMAZING! I’m 42 and that “thing” I was feeling is not something to worry about. It’s my scrunchie hymen! HA! I can’t wait to tell the women at our next Margarita Moms night out.
Thank you! I’m also going to feel a lot more comfortable helping my 11 year old with tampons. I did not use them until college and have been leery of introducing them to my daughter (it’s hard enough that she’s 11 and is menstruating:)
As a side note, in college I decided to take a natural family planning course at the local catholic hospital. I wanted to learn every form of birth control available. I learned more about my body in that 4 hour class! it’s very powerful for girls and women to learn how amazing their bodies are… again thanks for making me feel more powerful today.
Fascinating . . . Thanks so much!
Since a couple of people have asked about the function of a hymen, I might as well post a guess: it might have evolved to prevent infection/irritation by keeping dirt and detritus out. Or it could just be an appendix type of situation.
Other guesses?
@Brennan: I think all our orifices seem to come equipped with some kind of tissue guarding the opening…my guess is the hymen is a version of that.
This is a wonderfully informative post and I am going to forward it to my newly married friend.
@Meg, frequently because the woman is not sufficiently aroused or lubricated for sexual activity. If you aren’t lubricated enough, no matter how experienced you are, you can bleed.
@GeekGirls: True. This is why I preach the gospel of LUBE. Sometimes, even if your brain is aroused, your vadge can lag behind, thanks to taking medication, hormones, being tired etc. Plus condoms are drying. Every woman should have a big ol’ tube o’ lube in her boudoir and be unafraid to use it!
/soapbox
I’m so glad that people found this information useful. I will do my best to answer your excellent questions.
What is the hymen for? I’m not sure anyone knows for sure, but I agree with Brennan and BeckySharper that it likely is for protection from dirt and also germs.
Masturbation and tampons: The answer to this changes a little depending on your age. If you are not past puberty (and not a newborn), your hymen tissue is thin, not as stretchy, and very sensitive. If you are past puberty, your hymen tissue is thicker, stretchy, and less sensitive. So if you are past puberty, there is plenty of room for a tampon or a finger, and I would not expect any damage to the hymen. If you want to insert an object during masturbation, I think it depends on the size of the object. Obviously, if you are inserting a tampon, finger, or object, do it gently and if it hurts, then stop! In theory, you could injure your hymen if you force something in there.
Little girls also masturbate. This is usually by rubbing the clitoris or “humping,” so they would not be touching their hymens. In fact, if they are inserting objects into their vaginas, then I would be concerned about where they got that idea from (could be from a lot of places, but I’d want to look into it). Also, their hymens are very sensitive and they don’t like to have them touched, so I would imagine that if your average girl touched her hymen during masturbation, she would stop before she got to the point of injuring herself.
For Sh and her 11-year-old daughter: At age 11 and menstruating, your daughter’s hymen might be at the stage where it’s stretchy, but still really sensitive. If so, then using the tampon will be very uncomfortable. If she wants to try it, start with the smallest size you can find and tell her to just stop putting it in if it hurts. It might help to look at diagrams so she knows where to put it, instead of inserting it blindly. Also, 11-year-olds are not the most responsible people, so you might have to help her remember to take it out!
More answers to follow!
For those of you asking about bleeding and re-bleeding and why some women bleed at all, I have to un-simplify part of my post:
With all body orifices, some women’s are smaller and some bigger. Some hymens are stretchier. Some cover a little more of the vaginal opening. And, as you all are discussing, your experience of pain and bleeding the “first time” or other times may depend on how relaxed you are, how aroused, how lubricated, what position you are in, your hormonal status, the thickness of the penis, the motion/forcefulness of the penis, etc, etc, etc.
But also: During penetration, the hymen might tear part way through. Picture cutting part way into the scrunchie material. It can heal so that you still see the partial tear. This is called a “notch,” because it looks like a notch or nick in the tissue. This is not “evidence of penetration” because sometimes hymens just develop with notches in the tissue. Sometimes during penetration the hymen tears all the way through and heals like that. This is called a “transection.” This IS considered evidence of penetration because so far research has shown that hymens do not just develop that way. Either a transection or a notch would allow a hymen some extra accomodation room for anything that might enter in, and would also account for some of the times when a woman bleeds only the “first time” and never again. Hope that was clear.
Such a great post (and follow up), pedimd. I thought I was all smart about things vadge-ular, but no! I thought the hymen was w/in the vaginal canal, and that it basically disintegrated w/ age/sexual activity. I kind of love that I was wrong, though; learning it now makes it seem kinda magical. Thanks so much!
And, for those of you interested in what happens with parents who want a “virginity check.” In the parents’ defense, they are usually concerned about something and not handling it well. I usually will talk to the girl privately about what’s been going on and ask her if she wants a rape kit/birth control info/STD or pregnancy testing. Or if she’s even sexually active. Then I try to provide the girl what she needs, keep her confidenitiality, and negotiate with the parents. This can be difficult because I generally have to take the side of the kid, because I am her doctor, not the parents’ doctor. Even when the kid is making STUPID decisions. I once had to explain to a family that their 12 year old girl did not want the morning after pill because she wanted to have a baby with her much older “boyfriend.”
I wasn’t bored! Please post a sequel!
The hymen is one of those things surrounded by so much bullshit mythology that even well-meaning and otherwise smart and knowledgeable people are carrying around at least some misinformation.
I’m a rationalist to the core, and think it’s important to demystify everything. The aura of mystery around the hymen (now there’s a mental image for you) is one that I think is particularly important to dispel, because it’s so potentially damaging and shaming, and really just so goddamned medieval…
Sorry for the immediate follow-up; I just read all the comments!
I’m not a biologist or doctor – strictly an amateur hobbyist where human anatomy is concerned – but generally speaking, every opening leading inside the body is an entry point for bad things that can hurt you: bacteria, parasites, dirt, debris, etc.
Since the vaginal canal of a pre-pubescent girl is not (or at least should not) be in use, it makes sense that evolution would have shaped the body to protect this opening as much as is practical. Closing it off completely makes no sense, as it is going to be needed as an opening later in life, but “throttling” it to some degree with a partial barrier makes sense.
Later, post-puberty, it is a biologically simple matter to change the quality of a section of flesh to make it looser and stretchier – much simpler than clearing a full blockage, anyway.
pedimd, thanks so much for this post, and for your excellent follow-ups. I had been having a shitty day, but now I feel like I have really learned something important. Learning makes a day worthwhile.
Pedimd rocks!
Wow, what a fascinating post (and follow-ups)! Thank you! I’m going to bookmark this and show it to people when the topic comes up… which it does surprisingly often. I really thought I’d gotten rid of my hymen when I started using my DivaCup. I’m very surprised to hear that it must still be there! I had no idea it changed at puberty, either.
I wonder why the hymen=virginity myth has hung around for so long. It seems even more impractical now that I have this information.
The more you know! I’ve always envisioned a thin membrane with a small opening somewhere in the vaginal canal that broke upon penetration or injury. I never thought about what happened to that tissue after that. The bleeding thing is also a revelation. Thanks for this pedimd!
WOW I feel incredibly informed. Please do more of these little “women’s body” segments!
Totally fascinating! I have not thought about this particular piece of tissue for years. I am definitely spreading the word!
When I started menstruating (1960s), I asked my mom about using Tampax. She told me Tampax were for married women, and I remember going away confused, because my mom was divorced.
Thank you for helping women understand more about their bodies.
I am a nurse, and I have always tried to be as open and honest about things as I can with my children. I want them to be able to come to me with any questions that they might have. I want to encourage other parents to do the same. Your child’s safety is worth your embarrassment. Get over it. I would rather my daughter ask me something and get the truth than believe something one of her friends thinks is true.
After all how many of us would have gotten an STD from a toilet seat or gotten pregnant from making out in a bathing suit if the things we believe as teens were true.
[...] Hymenology 101: A pediatrician explains the facts and mythology of the mysterious membrane to eager readers at The Pursuit of Harpyness. [...]
[...] Hymenology 101: A Guest Post by Commenter Pedimd – The Pursuit of Harpyness The hymen is actually tissue that goes around the opening, like a collar. In teens and grown women it looks kind of like a scrunchie – wrinkled when relaxed, but able to stretch quite a bit. From an evolutionary perspective, this makes sense: during reproduction the hymen not only needs to accommodate a penis on the way in, but also a baby on the way out. [...]
[...] Hymenology 101: A Guest Post by Commenter Pedimd – Everything you ever wanted to know about hymens. Somewhat irrelvant to me now though, as I no longer have a hymen following vulvovaginal surgery. [...]
thanks pedimd for sharing this article .. u were so true about the unawarness of most people even doctors ( as i happen 2 be one
) about the basic facts of hymen and virginity ..
thank u 4 sharing this its really helpful .. however i wanted 2 ask a question i know that the crescentric hymen has 2 edges a free one and attached one .. i wanted to know where is it attached n can the hymen be broken or torn partially repeated checking infront of a mirror .. i know it sounds stupid but could it happen ??
I’m 19 and I have never had any kind of sexual intercourse at all and sadly I haven’t even had my first kiss or even a boyfriend in all my 19 years of living so far. I know sad right? Well anyway, I always thought that I broke my hymen when I was younger due to a “straddle injury” as the article has called falling on balance beams and what not (shudders because that injury hurt a lot, now I also have an idea or what it’s like for a man to be kicked between the legs only for a man it would be 10 times worse, and I thought my injury was bad). But I guess I when I get married (if that’ll ever happen or maybe I’ll stay single the rest of my life) I guess my husband will just have to take my word for it then.