It does give one an insane desire (well me) to google every name from my past i can think of

I am unsure how the fact that Iulia is from Romania relevant here. Avoiding victim-blaming is not a quintessential part of American culture. It is not something that separates the US from the rest of the world. I’m not from the US myself, but my (plentiful) exposure to American media suggests that victim-blaming and slut-shaming is plenty compatible with American mores – as it true unfortunately of most of the rest of the world. Stating that Iulia didn’t know any better because she’s not from the US is – arrogant? Self-satisfied? Uninformed?

Iulia is from Romania. Yes, that is an Eastern European country, but you’ll note that the communist block fell more than 20 years ago now. Moreover Romania is part of the European Union, so pretty western for what that’s worth. Is victim-blaming likely to be prevalent in Romanian culture? Yes. But that is not because those backward folk cannot keep up with the sophistication of more evolved countries, but rather because misogyny is an issue *everywhere*.

I’m Greek and (despite this horrible disadvantage!) somehow even at the age of 18 I did manage to realise that blaming women for the violence visited against them is not ok. And I was not some sort of freakish anomaly among my peers either. However, if Iulia were Greek, I can easily imagine reading discussions on this site wondering whether it was fair to blame her for her ignorance since those plebs just don’t know any better, right? And in Southern Europe women are held responsible for their honour. And she just hasn’t adjusted yet to “our” norms. And [insert presumptuous condescending nonsense of your choice here]. And I could tell you then as I can tell you now: I don’t care where she is from. Decent people shake their head at this sort of stuff everywhere. Iulia is an 18-year old with the brains and the means to make it into one of the world’s most prestigious universities. That is all I need to know. She *should* have known better. She should not have written that piece.

(Plus, she’s from friggin’ Romania for crying out loud! Focus people! I know you won’t believe me, but you can do a lot worse than that.)

1. She’s the right age to have grown up on the internet and therefore know how aggregator blogs like Jezebel work.

2. Focussing on very young, drunk female rape victims is like focussing on ‘stranger in a dark alley’ rapists – a distraction from the majority of women’s experience.

Stop blaming booze and return to blaming the patriarchy, please.

Actually, that was the part I thought supported my point — it seemed to me that your link is saying that education based on life skills and social norms is more effective than education based on risk, but we could be interpreting the text differently, the language seems ambiguous (“x technique may show promise” isn’t exactly a strong statement).

It just seems to me that talking about alcohol to teens only with regards to its risks is ultimately harmful. “Alcohol will get you drunk and that’s dangerous” is a much less effective message than “Alcohol can get you drunk, but it can also get you just buzzed and some of it tastes good” in the same way that “sex feels good and should be fun for everyone involved” is a more effective message than “STDS AND BABIES!!!”. Now, given, I don’t think that talking about the good parts of alcohol is necessarily your personal responsibility as a doctor, but I do think that as far as alcohol education in the US goes, talking about alcohol as if the only thing it can possibly do is get you plastered teaches teens that getting plastered is the only reason and only way to drink alcohol, if that makes sense. This may seem counterintuitive, but I know a lot of people who had to learn how to drink without getting smashed even though they’d been drinking for years. Why make it the goal that a teen only blackout 8 times rather than making it the goal that they spend their money on a six pack of Blue Moon every month instead of a case of PBR every week?

Also, I guess I wasn’t clear that I’m not advocating the “don’t ever drink” approach. When I talk to my patients about this stuff, I like the “harm reduction” approach. In my anecdotal experience, teens like to pretend they’re too cool to listen to me, but they do listen. If they go on to drink themselves into a blackout 8 times instead of 10 times, then I consider that I had some success.

And, hey! I never said men ever have carte blanche to use women’s bodies. I’m just saying that in terms of risk reduction, each individual woman can control only their own behavior. So if I’m talking to my teen patients, for example, and I emphasize how they can reduce the risks to themselves, I spin it differently for boys vs. girls because the risks are different.

As far as Neagu is concerned — I think she was deliberately provocative because she wanted the attention for her writing. Someone I went to college with did that in college and has made quite the career out of it.

I agree with this, but I (and others) take issue with the fact that “stop drinking so much” is a diversion from the topic, which is a college student who wrote an article placing blame on rape victims for their assaults. I wish kids would stop getting obliterated, too. And I don’t think anyone’s advocating for irresponsible behavior. People are saying women’s irresponsible behavior does not give men carte blanche to use their bodies as they wish.

But when “you shouldn’t drink!” is brought up in reaction to a drunk woman being raped, you are not discussing the dangers of drinking. You are putting the blame for rape on the victim. You are focusing on the victim’s actions in the aftermath of a crime. By its very nature, this action takes the focus off the perpetrator.

One of these things is not like the other.