Agree with Queen_George re: weeding out of destructive people – and with Mischiefmanager. It can also help the thoughtless a bit, and not necessarily the person you’re directing your comments at.

The other useful benefit of Being A Bitch that I have learned (and that came to me later in life than I would’ve liked!) is that it weeds out destructive people from your life. For example, I dated a guy who tended to make fat-phobic jokes. He claimed they shouldn’t bother me, because I’m thin, but every time he made one it stung me. It took me a while to say something, but one day I finally let him have it with a venomous tongue. The behavior didn’t stop, and so I knew that it was time to weed him out of my life. Had I been the Bitch earlier on, I would’ve gotten rid of him that much sooner and wasted even less time on him!

So Kudos to you A, and to all of you who Bring the Bitch. You rock!!

Everything was candy and kittens until I caught on that he had a problem with his younger sister who was in college because she was “acting out”. Once some gentle random questions happened I was able to find out that her acting different was her wearing pants, not shaving and talking to a lesbian that she started to develope feelings for. I tried to remind him that she’s A. Exploring her options, B. Being smart about shaving since her body apparently tends to break out and C. In cold climate so why not wear pants?

His nasty attitude towards her became worse when she confided in him that her girlfriend was a rape victim and had an abortion because of it. After that she lost her trust in men. He went into a shame-on-you and her over the entire topic. Stupid ass forgot I was within earshot of the conversation and I about physically assulted him. Not only was he being a whitemanpig but his sister had TRUSTED him with some heavy stuff. And he was being an asshole. When he got off the phone he berated me about how I acted and told me that girl could have “just given someone else the baby” like it was a pair of old shoes or something!

It was hard to keep calm and harder still when he said, “Why are you so over sensitive about it? Is it just because you got molested as a child?” I am proud to say that I walked out of his life after that. NEVER stay quiet when the situation clearly calls for a response. The only thing I regret is not seeing that coming sooner.

I was just talking the other night about how girls (and boys) are taught to speak up when people make them uncomfortable – the sex predator talk – but how all too often when a girl (or later in life, a woman) takes a deep breath, looks around, realizes she’s sick of being godamn uncomfortable, and speaks up, she’s told she probably misunderstood. Or relax. Or stop walking home from school that way…

The accommodation has to stop. Good for you for finding the courage to start.

Also, @Kimberly: I agree, hitting him was rather restrained. I probably would have made a spirited attempt to break his nose.

This is how change is made. Someone has the courage to speak up, and even if they don’t succeed the first time, their listeners hear the message, and it begins to germinate. And for some of them, a flower of liberation (a poet I’m not) will grow. And on it goes, until we’re all free!

I employ the bitch strategy every time I’m escorting at the clinic. Especially with the guy antis, it’s quite effective. They think women have no right to their own decisions in the first place, so having a woman get up in their faces and tell them to back off is quite a wake up moment for them.

My thanks to the Harpies, because that convo with my sis in the car happened a year before I started reading this blog. Since coming here, I’ve basically added a big thought bubble to that memory that says “Translation: BE A BITCH”.

For me, and I hope for A, just the support of a group of people reminding each other to speak up really helps fuel the Mouthiness of Righteous Indignation!