Comments on: Childhood Memories of Domestic Violence, a guest post from Tall-in-heels

By: Skaitalai 10/01 « Laisvo oro direktorė

Skaitalai 10/01 « Laisvo oro direktorė — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 13:47:30 +0000

[...] Childhood Memories of Domestic Violence Except that knights in shining armor are fantasies – ones that are especially likely to materialize when a woman has few options outside of waiting to be rescued. And the men who masquerade as knights are usually anything but. [...]

By: snobographer

snobographer — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 23:58:23 +0000

When I was a kid I thought Penny on Good Times was representative of all child abuse. Kind of like your Burning Bed/Sleeping With the Enemy example. I appreciate those pop cultural milestones that address real problems, but at the same time it seems like they've really reinforced the cw that it's not abuse unless there are visible physical injuries, even (perhaps especially) for victims themselves.

By: Tall-in-Heels

Tall-in-Heels — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 01:48:00 +0000

@Viajera, it’s amazing how many forces keep women trapped in these situations. That’s why I think it’s so important to speak out, without shame, and for victims to get support from people who aren’t going to judge or shame them. We certainly have a long way to go before all of the negatives land squarely on the shoulders of the abusers, and only the abusers.

@Waxghost, I forgot to mention that I did read that book awhile ago, and a few other things. I also took a DV Law course in law school, which was just depressing as all hell. I’ve rooted around Fugitivus and can’t seem to find the post I had in mind.

By: KittyFood

KittyFood — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 19:39:38 +0000

Thank you so much for sharing that with us.

By: Isa

Isa — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 03:45:21 +0000

Very moving and wonderfully written. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us.

By: Britni TheVadgeWig

Britni TheVadgeWig — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 00:13:09 +0000

I have to echo the sentiment praising the cops for taking the steps to protect you and your family. As a domestic violence counselor, I’ve heard all the horror stories you can imagine about police not taking complaints seriously.

You and your family are stronger and braver than you know. Thank you for writing this. <3

By: Kathryn Krastin

Kathryn Krastin — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 16:09:28 +0000

I have a radio show interviewing survivors of domestic violence. Please contact me and let me know if you would like to tell your story soon.

bluebonnetfields@gmail.com

By: viajera

viajera — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 00:17:08 +0000

I second waxghost’s recommendation, if you haven’t read that book already. In my case, in addition to the cultural and abuser-driven influences Tall-in-heels and waxghost both mentioned driving the reluctance to name DV, pride and shame played a role. Even though I experienced emotional and sometimes physical abuse in my 6-year relationship, which in hindsight was clearly DV, at the time I felt admitting that was like admitting a huge weakness and fault of my own. Because, you know, DV only happens to weak-willed insecure passive women, and I didn’t want to be classified as “one of them”. That plus having to admit that my parents, and sister, and friends, and… were all right and I was wrong. It was (stupid, in hindsight) attitudes like this, plus the eternal hope that he would change and everything would be okay again and the fear of what he’d do if I tried to leave, that kept me trapped for years.

Excellent and chilling post. Thanks for sharing.

By: Deborah

Deborah — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 22:37:45 +0000

Thank you for telling your story.

By: waxghost

waxghost — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 21:55:18 +0000

Definitely. I would love to see that link if you can find it.