I am shamelessly stealing this idea from Kate Fucking Harding, who is totally riffing off Sady Fucking Doyle, because they are–and it is–so fucking awesome.
First, go peruse those links. Then come back here and brag on yourself. What do you do really, really fucking well? Name the thing you’re the best at. Identify two or three or ten things that you seriously OWN. Use the word “fucking” if you like, but don’t feel obliged (unless swearing is one of those things you do so fucking well).
1. I am a fucking great teacher. I’m smart and funny and relevant and tough. You would be lucky to have me for a class.
2. I am a serious badass at financial management. That doesn’t mean I’m wealthy, far from it; I’m living below the poverty line, but I have my shit together. I live within my means, I have no debt, I know where all my cash goes, and I still manage to save a little bit.
3. I am an unapologetic, in-yer-face feminist. Every fucking day, everywhere I go.
Now you.
i’m also really fucking good at tetris. it’s the one video game i fucking rule at.
I am fucking late to this party. That’s evil fucking kidney infections for you.
Anyway I am
1. A fucking good journalist. I say this with no shame. I have never been turned down by a single paper I have pitched to and I have written for four out of the five UK national daily broadsheet newspapers, four out of the five national UK broadsheet sunday newspapers plus both the daily and sunday section of a certain midmarket UK tabloid newspaper that I shouldn’t really be proud of (although it is actually very fucking hard to get commissioned by them, soul-sucking evil though they are). I have also been commissioned by the New York Times, The New York Daily News and The Washington Post and have written everything from sports to film coverage, from features to interviews to book reviews to news reporting to political coverage. I may not have the sort of big name/column recognition but i’m more versatile than most journalists i know so overall where journalism is concerned I think I fucking rock.
2. Now I’ve blown my work trumpet i will add that I am also fucking brilliant at the following:
drinking particularly whisky
reading (I am truly the person I know with the widest and most varied reading habits, it’s fucking hard to pick something i haven’t read for me to discover)
cooking (in particular sunday lunch, I have no truck with the concept of brunch, sorry American people)
and gambling – in addition to winning regularly on the horses i play a mean hand of texas hold em and am not bad at 21 and Chemin de Fer)
I also like to think that i am not bad at fucking itself but I’d probably leave that to someone else to judge.
I’m late…though I’ve started and abandoned this multiple times in the last 24 hours. You awesome, accomplished women (and maybe a few men? I’m not sure) are making me bashful.
1. I’m fucking insightful. I understand people’s motivations even when they lack that understanding. I think enables me to be good at several other things, like giving advice or analyzing characters in art. As well as some things that of which I probably shouldn’t be so proud – like my ability to manipulate just about anyone and convince them it was all their idea or my ability to destroy anyone in a match of passive aggression.
2. I’m a fucking fantastic Stage Manager. This is hard for me to say, as experiences at a poorly run theatre left a bad taste in my mouth and caused me to seriously doubt my skills and chosen career. The truth is – I rule. It’s a tricky job, as I’m sure you can imagine, trying to function as a manager in an artistic environment. I’ve oft been complimented on my ability to balance authority. As long as everything gets done, I want it to be fun. I’m the Queen of the Busy Backstage. I can manage traffic patterns and plan scene shifts in my sleep (I actually take medication so I don’t). You have a show with a cast of 80, not including animals and children? And all of them have to fly in period attire and shoot fireworks out of their butts? You’ve got 30 pieces of furniture that need to fit in a space the size of a large closet? And all of them are overly heavy, have no wheels, and have to be carried up a flight of stairs without making a sound? BRING.IT.ON. To quote my cover letter “Not only am I highly skilled at managing backstage traffic and scene shifts, but I am also adept at managing cast and crew; resolving interpersonal conflicts, cushioning egos, and calming nerves.”
3. Since a few of you have mentioned your tolerance of alcohol, I think I can brag about my THC tolerance. I’m the Stoner Duchess. To quote Red Man & Method Man, “I’ll challenge any opponent/who wanna smoke/ we can toke til our voices get lower than Tone Loc.” I’m a snob for the good stuff. I have beautifully feminine and efficient paraphenalia (I’m done trying to spell that right). I know how to perfectly pack a bowl (I can roll joints, though not especially well and it’s just such a stinky, wasteful way to smoke). I can blow smoke rings. I keep a collection of necessary tools – I’m never short a lighter or a pokey device. I’m very strict about proper smoking etiquette, but very nice about teaching newbies. Most importantly, I feel I still make each high an adventure for people with me. After close to two decades of this – I think I’ve avoided being a loserly stoner. Just like boys never expect you to out drink them, the boys are always shocked when I’m a superior smoker in all ways.
4. I’m fucking great at all things related to women’s health and sex. I love talking about both. I always have. Every single year in elementary school, there was an incident in which I got in trouble for “being nasty” – telling sex jokes, relaying new sexual finding from my bros’ porn stash, sharing my “girls only” puberty pamphlet(these incidents, and the fact that the boys I was talking to didn’t get in trouble, really shaped my feminism early on). I love giving women and men advice about having (and giving)a more satisfying sexual experience. I will say things that would make a porn star blush. Besides an actual doctor, I’m the best person to ask about your burning sensations, personal itches, birth control, and orgasms. I feel I’m really good at diffusing tension with humor – especially about these topics. I plan on becoming a Certified Nurse Midwife over the next 5 years. I’m confident I will rule at it.
5. I’m fucking incredible in bed. That’s right, I’ll say it. This is something in which my confidence never waivers – and that’s really why I’m so hot. I’m not a 10 or even a 7 according to the asshole standard of beauty. I’ve got extra pounds, blah, blah, blah. But I love sex, I’m open to anything that doesn’t involve pain or poop, and I’ll say some dirty shit in the heat of the moment. Most importantly – I get mine – and (sorry for the heteronormativity here…but that’s my specialty) while dudes can get off and it not be all that great for the woman, the reverse is pretty impossible. There’s just no way it’s hot for me but not hot for him.
So there you have it – I’m a highly organized, dirty talking, passive aggressive, bawdy stoner and I’m really fucking good at it.
This certainly would have perked up my Friday had I seen it yesterday. But my Saturday is about to be vastly improved when I read about how much all of you fucking rock.
I’m Shiny Fucking Objects and I’m a fucking great aunt to my niece and nephew. I’m also fucking good at my job and am becoming an expert in the small corner of information I research and track. The job has also helped me get over any small fears I had of speaking in front of crowds, and now I’m a fucking good public speaker, because I realize that if I’m addressing a group, it’s because I have information they need and I have the authority to share it. I’m a good cook and baker and most things I make turn out excellently the first time. I can talk about books and movies all night. I always take other people’s feelings into consideration and am good at helping other people to find empathy. I’m lucky to have a husband who’s as committed as I am to bringing out the best in each other. I’m going to be a fucking good steward of my family’s land, originally purchased by my grandfather. Circumstances dictate it will be my role to oversee it in the future, and I will keep our small part of the mountains as nature intended.
Reading Harpyness is always a high point in my day. Though I’m not around much to comment, I spend blissful hours playing catch-up and I appreciate everyone a whole fucking lot!
@emilyanne – I would love to look around for your byline. Maybe you could tweet your articles or something?
1. I fucking rock at spelling!
2. I am a fucking good musician. I may be a little rusty but I am still damn good.
3. I am a fucking fantastic friend. I may be messed up, but I still try my hardest to be there for whoever needs me.
I reckon this whole thread fucking rocks! I was doubting my capabilities after a shit week. But this has revived me.
It’s great to read about the people in the harpy nest and all the great things they fucking rock at! Best of all, it is shared in the spirit of celebrating success.
So tonight when I have a glass of wine, I’m going to raise a toast to the fucking rockstars of the harpy nest, and also have a toast for me and think about what I fucking rock at as well.
1. I’m fucking awesome at my job. I frequently don’t give myself enough credit, but I fucking rock at it!
2. I fucking care deeply for my friends and family, and try to make sure they know as often as possible.
3. I’m fucking strong. I need to acknowledge this more.
I’m fucking good at conversations. I make people at ease. I coax introverted people out of their shells and they have a good time. I make people laugh.
I’m fucking awesome at organising things. I instantly work out the way I think things should go, and then I make it happen. And I’m fucking good at taking charge and leading groups of people.
I’m fucking good at standing up for what I believe in. I fucking argued with my friend-who-I-discovered-is-an-MRA till he had to stop the fucking conversation. And I persuaded another friend that allowing parental leave to be shared between both parents rather than all given to the mother is a good idea.
And I’m fucking good at buying dessert to cheer my partner up.
Late to the party, but after reading and re-reading this post and feeling inadequate, here goes:
I am a fucking good person. I care deeply about my friends, and would do anything for them.
I am fucking resilient as hell. Throw whatever at me, I’ll fucking bounce back and keep fucking going.
I’m an awesome fucking cat mom. I’ve adopted two cats, and have lavished love and attention on them every fucking day I’ve had them. I’ve tamed my half-feral boy kitty, and now he fucking loves people. (He especially loves people with fucking treats, so bring on the Pounce.)
I am a loyal fucking employee. I work fucking hard at anything I do, no matter what it is, and have fucking raised myself to a better fucking position due to my fucking persistence.
I’m learning how to be a fucking bitch. I’ve made great steps on not backing the fuck down. Passively taking shit any longer–FUCK THAT.
I’m A great fucking feminist, and have show people the error of their fucking ways, by standing up and saying something was wrong. And then NOT backing down when they got confrontational, which used to, and still does to a point, terrify me.
I am great at fucking growing every fucking day. I’m a richly developed person, and no one can take or ruin that.
And lastly, I’m great at fucking swearing. I’ve been told I talk like a cross between a sailor and a stripper, and couldn’t give a monkey fucking shit about that.
Also late to the party, but I fucking need to pep myself up tonight. Let’s see:
1) I’m fucking great at solving problems. Not only that, but I find them fucking fun and have recently realized how much I miss doing them. Bring on some fucking physics; I will burn that shit to the ground, and my solutions will be detailed and elegant. And when I teach that shit? You will feel enlightened, detailed, and elegant when you, too, solve problems.
2) I know a lot of stuff. I can read stuff about any field of science and, given enough time to whack at it a little, I will fucking understand it. And you? You will love it too. Because my excitement is fucking contagious. Like swine flu, only positive.
3) Related to (1) and (2), I can come up with analogies like nobody’s fucking business. Charlie on Numb3rs has nothing on me. I make this shit up on the spot. I should be on a fucking documentary.
4) I’m good at dealing with fucking machines, especially fucking computers, despite having no fucking formal training in them. They do not scare me. I fucking scare them into behaving.
5) I make fucking beautiful maps. I’m like the Michaelfuckingangelo of cartography, and my directions, even from memory, are rarely fucking incorrect. My navigational skills put my phone’s GPS to shame.
6) I’m a great fucking driver. I am efficient and safe, and I can fucking parallel park on the busiest street in the city. Yet I am fucking green as well; I ride my bike without being preachy or confrontational yet I assert my fucking place in traffic and obey the laws so that when fuckers irritating whine to me out of context, I can mention how stopping at every fucking stop sign going uphill gives me thighs of fucking steel and saves me fucking gas money. Oh and my thighs? Fucking steely.
7) I’m a fucking great singer and I don’t even need alcohol to bring down the karaoke bar. Even the one fucking filled with musical theater lovers. And I can sing a motherfucking High C so fucking sweetly you’ll need to brush your teeth afterward.
That’s enough for now; I don’t want to fucking overwhelm myself with my own fucking bad-assitude.
1. I am a fucking excellent teacher. I take into consideration my teacher evaluations at the end of the semester. I am organized and respond to student emails within hours of them contacting me. I work very hard to improve my lectures and PowerPoint presentations and I realize that I am not a perfect teacher and can only improve with time and experience.
2. I am a good friend and care a lot about my friends happiness. I do not have a lot of friends – but if you are my friend I will defend you to the ground and I will never lie to you or give you false hope.
3. I am an honest, blunt person. I do not sugar coat anything and I would never pretend to be anything other than who I am. I have opinions and I don’t hide them.
4. (I agree with Michelle) I am fucking strong, stronger than I think – I really need to acknowledge this more often.
I’m late to the party, but I am so inspired by all of you, that I feel compelled to post.
1. I am a fucking good friend, family member, and partner. I am incredibly dependable, and I make people feel better around me. I am fucking badass at noticing other’s needs, and meeting them, while also taking care of myself.
2. I am really fucking smart. I am a smart fucking feminist.
3. I am fucking brave, and I follow my dreams. In two weeks I am going on a vacation, to a foreign country, all by myself, simply because I have always wanted to go and I didn’t want to wait on anyone else. In the fall I am quitting my high stress, well paying job to go to graduate school and follow my dream of being a fucking bad ass, smart PhD.
Oh, I like this! I am surprised that I could go on, but I think those three are the most important.
Harpies, I have shared this blog post with a truck load of smart fabulous and un-fucken-believable fuckin’ rocking’ women.
Can we declare this day, every year “You Fuckin’ Rock” day? I realise everyday should be like this, but after my crap week, this post helped lift me out of my funk and I am still inspired and feel invigorated by reading all the rockin’ women in the harpy nest!
Ps, when I made my toast to the fuckin’ rockin’ people of the harpy next, I also toasted that you kept on rockin’!
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