Yesterday I got an e-mail from DaddySharper with a note saying “This is worth a Harpyness post.” It linked to a Washington Post article entitled: ‘Code Red’: iPhone/iPad app for men who need to track women’s menstrual cycles.
Yes, you read that right. There’s now an iPhone/iPad app that will allow your manpanion to enter the first day of your last couple periods, and it will tell him—as if by magic!—when your next period will occur. Except there’s nothing remotely magical or mysterious about menstrual cycles. As I told my dad, this app assumes men are really stupid. It’s the same week each month, fellas—unless her periods are irregular, in which case the app ain’t going to work anyway. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure it out.
The Post‘s Monica Hesse writes:
It keeps track of periods. It keeps track of them for men. It is, in fact, strong enough for a woman but made for the men who love them, or at least want to monitor their bodies the way that creep-o just might on “Law & Order: SVU” before Detective Benson punched him in the head. Just sayin’.
But once you get into the details of these apps, the eye-rolling really starts!
Inevitably, since we’re talking about men and periods, we’re guaranteed a certain amount of dismal, juvenile HUR HUR she’s on the rag! jokery. Code Red is only one of the many menstruation apps out there, and it sounds like it’s one of the classier ones:
A tour of recent technological creations shows that menstruation apps for men are a booming market. “PMSBuddy,” for example, is proudly “saving relationships, one month at a time.” “PMS Meter” features “hilarious sound effects.” And the infamous “IAmAMan,” which is nothing if not unapologetic, allows users to track the menstrual cycles of several women at once, for those special times when you are a big cheater.
Well, that’s just swell. Better living through programming!
I think that menstrual apps indicate a strange lack of communication in relationships. If your partner wants to know when your period is…why not just ask? Says the husband-wife programming team who created of Code Red:
“It’s funny in a sense,” Kevin says. “But also really helpful.”
“I don’t even think it’s funny; I just thought it was necessary,” Lisi says. “Kevin and I have been together for 15 years . . . and Kevin acts blindsided every month. It makes me want to scratch his eyes out.”
Wow. I’m…uh…glad I’m not married to either one of them.
I’m not quite sure how I’d respond if my boyfriend or husband wanted to track my cycle on his iPhone. Menstruation never been an issue in any relationship I’ve had; I don’t get PMS and I’ve never been with a man who wanted to avoid sex during my period. If we were trying to conceive or there was some medical reason for him to know—or even if he were just plain curious—I’d hope he’d simply talk about it with me. Then again, they haven’t yet come up with an app that will compel honest, open communication, which is truly unfortunate.
So, is the point to know when you can dismiss the thoughts/feelings your LadyFriend with impunity? Or just so you can avoid her terrifying body when it reminds you that it is not in fact just a hole for you to stick it in? Unless it also includes a reminder to buy tampons on your way home, I’m pretty sure there’s no good reason for this to exist.
Here’s the key statement: “Kevin acts blindsided every month”.
If you’re in a relationship and you can’t remember when your partner gets her period (if it’s regular), and if the evidence of your own eyes doesn’t tell you (sanitary products generally produce some trash), then you just don’t want to know. And if that’s the case, it’s time for you to grow up and stop treating women’s bodies as though they’re icky.
pro: thousands and thousands of apps!!! con: most of them useless.
I can’t figure out why *this* particular menstrual app is getting so much media attention. And frankly, not enough criticism.
As you note, Becky, there are many (I’m not going to find a link, but there’s one called “Track My Bitch”). We’ve written about these programs a couple of times at re:Cycling: My colleague David Linton wrote about PMS Buddy and other marketing of PMS here last fall, and I wrote about b.c. pill reminder apps for ladies here.
Now, there are actually some useful menstrual apps out there, like MyMonthlyCycles.com, and MikvahCalendar.com, but I cannot tell you how sick of these PMS products I am.
Shameful confession: My BF keeps track of when I start my period. It was because last year I had to go to the ER for something and they asked me when was the last time I had my period (as they do) and I had no idea, I just guestimated, because I have never kept track of that ever. So because my BF is the anal retentive list keeper type he now makes a little notation for just such situations.
Google calendar still has no way of setting up an event to recur every 28 days, (such as say, a reminder to pop in a new Nuva-ring), yet, there is an app so that a man can know my cycle. Just, wtf.
My cycles are longer than a month. Something like every 32 days or so, which initially scared my partner because he kept thinking I was late.
I’m with Becky, though: it’s about communication. I can tell a few days before my period starts because I get mild cramps. So I just tell my partner that I’m getting cramps and I’ll probably start soon–and I use the same casual tone I’d use to say it might rain, because it’s really no big deal.
I can see how an app like this would help me (if I had an iPhone) track my own period since it’s a longer cycle, but it creeps me out that it’s marketed to men.
@Elizabeth: Thanks for those links!
I hadn’t thought about ones like MikvahCalendar, which would indeed be useful if you’re ultra-Orthodox and your menstrual cycle dictates certain patterns in activities and relationships. But “Track My Bitch?” That’s cause for breakup right there.
@CB: Good point. I hadn’t thought of it that way. Why isn’t there an app for that?
When I had periods, in my pre-IUD days, they were super irregular, so my husband wouldn’t have been able to use an app. Of course, I didn’t know when they were going to happen either.
On the other hand, the man did, you know, share a bathroom with me. I’m not entirely sure how he could miss it. Tampons down on the little table instead of up high in a cabinet? Pads and tampons in the trash, which suddenly has a trash bag? Heating pad next to the bed? Why on earth would he need his phone to tell him something was up?
Elizabeth, I used Mymonthlycycles.com when we were trying to conceive the first time (not that it worked for me) but I think the point is that I used it, not my spouse.
I can think of one legit use for this — I get pretty bad cramps/PMS and I can imagine my boyfriend wanting to know ahead of time if he wanted to be a sweetheart and prepare comforts like soup and a heating pad. But, as has been said, this is easily circumvented by me just *telling* him.
I’d be interested in seeing the sales figures for these apps. My boyfriend’s actually been doing some iPhone coding and from what I can tell, putting together a simple app like this would only take a couple of days and there are a lot of coders who are basically throwing apps together for anything they think might be useful in case one catches on and makes them some money.
@baraqiel–Exactly. He could just ask or you could just tell him, and then he could do something sweet like that. (My partner does something similar, reminding me when it’s been long enough that I can take more ibuprofen on the first day with the killer cramps.)
What you said about app-writing makes a lot of sense; it’s a booming market. I wonder if there’s an app that sends men a tip of the day for ways that they can respect women more, support feminism, and challenge patriarchy? That would be awesome.
“Track My Bitch”? Is there a companion app with that called “Smack up my Pig”?
@BeckyS: Because most coders are guys.
Some of the ones geared toward men are to be used tracking women’s cycles they may not be romantically involved with, say a boss, coworkers, etc. The premise of them seems to try to track “moods” because obviously if a Woman is not putting up with your BS as she usually does, it HAS to be because she’s on the rag.
This CodeRed may be getting more attention because it is for partners and doesn’t resort to being overly craptastic (which is saying something for these types of apps).
I use one myself but it’s geared toward women so not offensive at all. In fact, it’s been helpful in diagnosing our fertility issues.
I wrote about this on socimages last year– these apps have been around for a while and some are even more ridiculously sexist than this one!
http://contexts.org/socimages/2009/02/25/new-technology-same-old-sexism/
I don’t have regular periods, but I do have a terrible migraine the day before I start, so sometimes I “warn” the people around me by saying things like: I’m sorry, I’m having trouble understanding what you’re saying. Or. Why is everything close and sparkly?
I suppose it’d be good for partners of women who get PMDD or pretty bad premenstrual symptoms, like massive breast tenderness, especially if it’s a regular cycle that’s not every 28 days – if they want to be sweethearts and know when it’s time to bring out the heating pad or to avoid planning the Surprise Weekend Getaway when your partner’s usually migraining. But I don’t get why most men would be shocked and surprised every month.
And also: The advertising sucks.
hmmm… my previous boyfriend was so much afraid that i will get myself pregnant from him, that he tracked my cycle in his calendar, and all our sexual activities (but he was not THAT afraid to use condom, he forced me to be on the pill, that smashed my hormone system). when i was late for a couple of days (which is quite normal) he forced me to buy (on my own money, of course, just like the pill) a pregnancy test to prove him, that i was not trying to get myself pregnant from him, so he would be forced to marry me (deeply patriarchal, rural hungary).
i endured to be 5 yrs in this poisonous and deeply mysogynystic relationship. only after 5 yrs got i enough strength and empowerment (and support), that i could quit.
Oh, Katica, I was reading your comment and murmuring “you dumped him, right? you dumped him? please say you dumped him!” You are amazing.
Katica, I second PhDork’s comment. You’re awesome for finding the strength to protect yourself. <3