Comments on: The Birthday I’m Supposed to Dread

By: AuntieSharper

AuntieSharper — Tue, 11 May 2010 17:20:54 +0000

Happy Late Birthday from 58, adopted at 47, and laughing in the face of my 11 year old who thinks I need to “date.” Honestly! You are my PB#1 and when you hit my age you will look around you and be so glad you are who you are and didn’t listen to all that “advice” from the relatives. (And I seriously hope on our side of the family I at least paved the way for you!) XXX000

By: Tall-in-Heels

Tall-in-Heels — Tue, 11 May 2010 00:00:38 +0000

Happy birthdays Harpies!

By: OlderThanDirt

OlderThanDirt — Mon, 10 May 2010 17:46:51 +0000

If I remember correctly the whole issue with 35 was that it was the age when statistically the risks associated with amniocentesis was less than the risk of birth defects. Younger than 35, the risks associated with the test were greater than the probability of any birth defect.

In other words, it was an arbitrary cross-over point and is probably not even accurate anymore since I would hope the risks associated with the tests have been improved. I’m not at all surprised that this little medical data point has gotten enshrined into our culture as the “drop-dead date” for motherhood since we all know that anything that furthers the narrative that women lose value as they age is considered “the way the world is”.

By: wondering

wondering — Mon, 10 May 2010 17:35:37 +0000

Hmmm. Like a poster above, I passed 35 pretty much without noticing. But I turned 39 this year and things are different. When I tell people my age they either try to reassure me that I “can’t possibly be 39, you can’t be that old” or receive remarks on how nice it is to be 39 forever.

Of course, I have no kids and no plans to have kids, and I’m fortunate that there is no pressure on me to be married or have children from my family (beyond mentions of schoolmates who are married and/or procreating), even as the oldest child/daughter. I think it may be due to the huge size of my family – some of my younger brothers have started having kids, so the grandchildren requirement has been fulfilled.

By: Lindsay Beyerstein

Lindsay Beyerstein — Mon, 10 May 2010 15:59:41 +0000

Happy birthday, and many happy returns!

By: ellen

ellen — Mon, 10 May 2010 15:24:37 +0000

Here’s a secret They don’t want you to know: it just keeps getting better.

At close to 60, with no spouse or significant other, no kids, and some health issues that keep me on a pretty short leash, I’m more content than at any earlier age. It’s possible to be deliciously happy without all those things They want you to believe you need. Just being conscious is a hoot.

And I’m especially loving the “invisibility” of being older–tastes like freedom to me.

By: Spark

Spark — Mon, 10 May 2010 15:07:19 +0000

Happy birthday, everyone! On the “advanced maternal age” thing: don’t let the medical phrasing get you down. I messed up my back a while ago, and my doctor said it was normal for my spine to begin deteriorating at my age. I was 26! Sometimes the medical POV has little to do with real life. And in practice, I think “advanced maternal age” just means you get an extra test or two during pregnancy.

By: JetGirl

JetGirl — Mon, 10 May 2010 02:58:10 +0000

Happy Birthday! And screw deadlines — you know you’re getting more interesting year by year, and that’s all that matters!

By: DangerMouse

DangerMouse — Sun, 09 May 2010 22:45:46 +0000

Happy birthday, Becky, and happy almost birthday, Sarah! Let’s continue to fight these BS deadlines!

By: June

June — Sun, 09 May 2010 22:42:34 +0000

I distinctly remember the day I turned 35. I did feel strangely weird and depressed. I’d already had two children and always enjoyed my previous birthdays. I’d read (somewhere) that Calvin Klein didn’t bother designing for women over 35.
But then I thought, “What the hell! Who gives a flying f#@k…I’ve never even worn contemporary ‘designer’ clothes – I’ve always preferred vintage!”, and got over it completely by the end of the day.
I’m now 47. I absolutely love getting older. Honestly. Less pressure to conform. More freedom to be myself.

Happy Birthday BSharper!