Pilgrim Soul e-mailed this Tumblr gem to us this afternoon and it begs to be shared. (NB: If you click the link, turn the sound down on your computer or prepare for death by schmaltzy pop.)
Gentle readers, I give you the dumbest, most illogical anti-abortion argument yet:
Though the statistics may not be exactly one half, with each baby that is aborted someone else looses [sic] their prospective husband/wife. It’s almost like taking away someone else’s chance for true love. I believe that’s part of the reason there are so many divorces in the world today. People are being forced (and I use the word force lightly) to marry someone else that isn’t the perfect match for them, leading to unhappiness, cheating, and eventually divorce.. all because their intended spouse was killed before birth.
Single? Divorced? It’s because SOMEONE ABORTED YOUR TRUE LOVE!
Thanks for the *head/desk*-related concussion.
I totally plan to trot out this “explanation” the next time a nosy family member asks why I’m not married.
Hell, I plan to trot it out on the occasion of my first divorce!
Something the internet is having deep thinky thoughts.
Wow… This is just inane. If it were possible to inane (look at me making this word a verb!) yourself out of existance this person would be awfully close.
Why is it that all abortions are supposed to be against some sort of fate? An abortion might have caused me to not meet my fated twue wuv? Why is it never just as possible that the abortion itself was fated? *sigh*
Damn ladies! Always confounding fate with our insistence on free will and shit!! *shakes fist*
I’m pulling this one out the next time my grandmother says something along the lines of, “All the good ones are taken now, you know.”
No, Nonie – THEY WERE NEVER HERE!
Muahahahahaha!
Ok, this just made me laugh! Now I can stop blaming myself for my own loneliness.
Hello Harpies! I have been a reader for quite some time but I just had to comment because this was an actual argument made by my 7th grade religion teacher! She also made us write letters to our future spouses on why we “saved” ourselves for marriage. Such fond Catholic school memories. . .
I’m choosing to view it as performance art
@bluebears: It’s satire!
This was my favorite thing I saw on the Internet today. I loved this response, too: http://morninggloria.tumblr.com/post/587502875/your-fetal-husband
this is just wow.. I can’t believe that abortion can be blamed for people’s loneliness and lack of a heterosexual relationship.
Haha! Oooooooh wow…
AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
OK I’m done.
Holy shit.
I prefer to think someone aborted whoever would have been standing in front of me at the ATM last Tuesday. That was indeed “fast cash.”
I suspect my benefactor was aborted.
In every argument we have, for the rest of our lives, I’m throwing it in my husband’s face that he’s just my backup husband, because my soul mate was aborted.
The complete lack of logic hurts, but not enough to drown out the laughter.
ha. YES, SarahMC. I just know I would have a multi-million dollar trust in my name if only a charitable/generous never known to me person had not been aborted, grown up, made millions, met me and was so touched by my soul that he/she made me their heir.
I almost feel bad for this kid — he seems to be of the type that got a blog without realizing the nature of the internets. I mean, come on:
“I’ve adopted an Spirit Baby!
My friend told me about it a few days ago. Pretty much you ‘adopt’ a premature baby that is in danger of being aborted. You pray for it daily for its save and healthy delivery and for its mother to overcome her obstacles in life to keep the baby alive. (You pretty much just make up a baby and pray for it hahaha.)”
That’s like…nuclear level naive.
@baraqiel: True. But preferable to him hassling women at clinics.
Do they pray for wanted babies who are sick or premature? Pregnant women with eclampsia or other life-threatening complications of pregnancy? Or women trying to overcome infertility? My guess is no.
The stupid! It burrrnssss us!
I wish all those fools who “adopt” a “spirit baby” could learn just how effective their little self-righteousness wankfest is-about as effective as protesting outside clinics, which means not at all. And yeah, it’s typical of antis not to imagine babies as real, sqalling, messy, expensive, inconvenient beings. Spirit babies are so easy!
I had some 17 year old blockhead try to mansplain to me this weekend at the clinic how my thinking on abortion was wrong and I don’t understand how abortion hurts women. He was very eager to tell me all about all my errors of thought. I was forced to decline his kind offer, and managed not to apply a foot to his groin in the process, but it wasn’t easy to resist.
Ha! Well, that just made getting home from work much more interesting.
Last week, I had a terrible day at work. I was carpooling back to NJ with my best friend, complaining about work, when I saw a pro-life billboard that said “Take my hand, Not my life–Abortion kills babies.” and a phone number. I whipped out my cellphone, called that number, and told the lady on the other line that her billboard on Route 1&9 just convinced me to have an abortion. The idea of a HAND in my body revolted me.
I wish I had this person’s 800 number so I could tell him that I had killed his/her prospective spouse 26 years ago. When I was born instead of him/her. No true love for them. Just for me.
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