Comments on: Harpy Seminar: Women and Depression

By: Amon the harpy | HrMotion

Amon the harpy | HrMotion — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 21:15:55 +0000

[...] Harpy Seminar: Women and Depression – The Pursuit of HarpynessWelcome to Harpy Seminar, a regular feature we plan to have at regular …. Which… is basically where I am on this question generally of … [...]

By: Ergo, Women Are Not People. - The Pursuit of Harpyness

Ergo, Women Are Not People. - The Pursuit of Harpyness — Wed, 19 May 2010 15:01:46 +0000

[...] Since this doesn’t equate to “happiness” (which gets back to the discussion we had the other week: what the hell is happiness, anyway?), the reporter throws in this little [...]

By: Suzie

Suzie — Sun, 16 May 2010 00:54:08 +0000

Your comment that women might be overdiagnosed with depression because they’re supposed to be happy with the world the way it is — even when they’re not — is so accurate.

I wanted to point out as a military wife that they hand out antidepressants to military wives like they’re &*(*(() breath mints. Even the hard, scary stuff like Xanax that’s supposed to be hard to get. My sense is that no one in the military leadership really wants to hear: I’m depressed because I can’t hold a real job because my husband has been deployed 6 times in the last ten years and we’ve moved 5 times, and I don’t WANT to be involved in the officer’s wives club because I’ve got a Ph.D. and I’m just not interested in making cocktail snacks and playing house. Much easier to just load her up with antidepressants and decide that the problem is her hormones.

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Thu, 13 May 2010 03:20:31 +0000

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By: Tall-in-Heels

Tall-in-Heels — Tue, 11 May 2010 20:00:07 +0000

Also, I think that for women in particular, there is a lot of added pressure in the sense that one woman’s decisions are so often ascribed to “women” generally. Quit your high powered job? I can guarantee that at least one asshole won’t just see that an individual decision made by Jane Doe based on her personal circumstances, but instead will see it as proof that women in general can’t hack it in high powered places. Your personal inability to have it all is a failure for all women in some ways. Not wanting to let womanity down is an added source of pressure that perhaps pushes some to grind though instead of making changes that might make life feel better.

By: Tall-in-Heels

Tall-in-Heels — Tue, 11 May 2010 19:13:56 +0000

I agree that there is a difference between chemical depression and situational depression. But I also think there is a difference between situational depression and just not being “happy” the majority of the time. As others have noted, we’re sold this story that we’ll be happy when we have it all (or close to all), but in a hierarchical, capitalistic society, “all” is unachievable because the system will always generate more for you to strive for. No line magically appears signaling “enough.” Every ceiling, once you reach it, simply becomes the new floor, with a new ceiling up above for you to climb towards. So long as the measuring stick we use to judge ourselves is an external one, we’ll never be enough, do enough, or have enough; we’ll never be “happy,” and instead of attributing that to the way the system works, we think there is something wrong with us and we call that wrong “depression.”

Or maybe we’ve so internalized this way of thinking, this need for routine happiness, that it’s become part of our fabric and it’s absence really does signal a form of clinical depression. I don’t know.

All I know is that I’ve become a happier person since my carefully built facade of “having it all” burned to the ground. I starting rebuilding on a foundation of “I don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks of my life.” I still working on that, and sometimes the building grinds to a halt, or I question my plans. But things are a lot better for me now. I’m not always happy, but I’m happier, and that’s sort of what I think life’s about – a continuum with ups and downs, not a finite journey to some mythical absolute.

By: mischiefmanager

mischiefmanager — Tue, 11 May 2010 17:56:21 +0000

One thing about feminism that I don’t think any of us expected is the problem that the more we succeed, the higher the standards for success become. Once we demonstrate that we can do x, that becomes the minimum point for all women. Now we have to do x+1 if we want to feel more than barely competent. It’s a no-win for us, and we should call it for what it is. We should decide what our definition of success is. I agree with baraqiel; happiness is not a state but a result. Satisfaction is what makes life livable. And no one can be satisfied with a life whose basic value is “more”.

By: flackette

flackette — Tue, 11 May 2010 17:19:18 +0000

I really relate to the “always feeling you can do better.” Not just that you *can*, but that you *should* always be striving, reaching, achieving. If your entire paradigm says that no matter what you do, you need to do more – well then of course you will feel let-down, unfulfilled, like a failure, etc.

I also agree with comments above – I think that both men and women suffer from depression, but for various reasons women are diagnosed more often.

I also firmly believe that there are two variants of depression. There is the situational kind – the kind people experience after a major life change. And then there’s the chemical kind. Lucky me, that runs in my family. Without chemical support, I consistently relapse into a puddle of sadness.

So, I take advantage of therapy, meditation and, yes, drugs.

By: Katharsis

Katharsis — Tue, 11 May 2010 16:31:18 +0000

@Spark: I think your points are spot-on. In addition, I do wonder if women are sometimes over-diagnosed with depression in part because there is a cultural expectation that women should always be happy, or least pretend to be happy. It seems to me that this patriarchal notion leaves little room for women to experience the full range of emotions that men get to express without been diagnosed with something or other.

By: Spark

Spark — Tue, 11 May 2010 15:31:09 +0000

I agree the terms are confused. Self-reported “happiness” v. clinical/medical depression v. anti-depressant prescriptions. Historically, the mental health industry has always been quick to judge women patients as defective. That combined with everyone’s observations that women may be more likely to seek help makes all of these studies/polls/findings unfinished.
That being said… living under patriarchy is no picnic.