Okay, as much as I fucking hated that piece that SarahMC just posted on, with all its crap generalizations and monolithic “we” language, I have to laugh a bit, because before I logged in to write this post, I planned to link to that same post, and comment on its truly puke-tastic “hee hee! seekrits! winkiness.
OMG, Jane Hoskyn is right about the LadyHiveMind: ALL YOUR THOUGHTS ARE BELONG TO US.
Ennnyways, I planned to do that as a prelude to the FFT, not then asking our readers to share all our womanly secrets (I’ll keep my “rogue hairs” to myself, thankseversomuch), but rather to contribute to the betterment of womanity by sharing your hard-won knowledge. Last week was about advice from your mama, but this week is about your advice, specifically regarding romantic/sexual relationships (with laydeez or menz, whichever you prefer). About dating, about sexytimes, about making a relationship work, about what to do when a relationship just really isn’t working. Litmus tests, flashing red lights, stuff you wish you had known, stuff you’d want to tell the kids in your life. Or the non-kids in your life (my mom is considering dating for the first time in years, for example).
I happened into my relationship with the Dude early, thinking he was Mr. Rebound, and haven’t been on the market in many, many moons. So my thoughts might be exactly no good at all, but a few general thoughts:
- Don’t trust anyone who hates animals.
- Listen to and trust your gut about a person’s intentions.
- Falling in like with someone is just as important as falling in love with them.
- You will rarely feel like your relationship (feelings, effort, division of labor) is perfectly 50/50. Just make sure the 60/40 split is 40/60 a good deal of the time.