This weekend we got a visit from a troll that led PhDork to comment: That doucheweasel needs a one-way ticket off the planet.
The comment was on a post from January by SarahMC about a recent study that showed that instead of women “trapping” men by getting pregnant, it’s more often men who try to impregnate their partners against their wishes.
What was fascinating about this piece of trollery wasn’t the usual chauvinist vitriol, although that was certainly present and accounted for. It was that the troll basically admitted that what SarahMC said was true….but tried to Mansplain it away. I’ll spare y’all the full comment, because it was long and hateful, but the grossness was just too ridiculous not to pick apart. And really, what are trolls for if not to provide us a good troll-stomp every now and then?
To wit:
I can’t believe $#!% like this makes it on the web.
Yes, well, that’s the thing about the web. All kinds of $#!% winds up here, including your comment.
What struck me as funny—funny peculiar, not funny ha-ha—is that this troll won’t use a swear word. It’s totally fine to leave a hateful, crude and nasty comment, but swearing? Out of the question. He’s a classy troll, y’all.
While I’m sure men do this often enough, the notion that a man can control a woman by getting her pregnant in this day and age is the dumbest $#!% I’ve heard all week.
He’s sure men actually do abuse their partners this way, but it doesn’t really matter because even if they do, it won’t work! Females being so ball-busting these days, and all…
There is a whole cottage industry of women who sabotage birth control in order to have the baby of wealthy athletes. We have reality shows (Basketball Wives) devoted to this fact of life.
Because if it’s on reality TV, it must be true. He saw it on VH1 and therefore, he is obviously right!
It is certainly true that men often pull off a condom during sex. I would say the numbers of such men would be easily what you’ve stated here.
Again, he’s not denying the truth of the study itself. But wait—he’s gonna Mansplain it! Strap on your barf bags, sisters!
However, they’re [sic] motivation is very simple. Bareback feels much better. Certainly in most cases there’s no intent to actually have a child or control a woman. They’re simply trying to get a better nut.
Yes, he actually said that. SRSLY. I hope his dick falls off.
But the last line of this comment leaves me scratching my head. It’s almost like a Zen koan. See if it makes sense to you:
Jesus victimology is alive and well I see.
Is he missing a comma there? Did he mean to use “Jesus” as an interjection/epithet: “Jesus, victimology is alive and well”? Or did he mean that this study is part of an ideology of victimization embodied by…Jesus? Or that the women in this study are martyrs, like Jesus?
Anyone want to hazard a guess? WWJD?
I hate to admit that I have watched it, but I feel I must defend Basketball Wives. It’s a reality show about women (mostly WOC) who are or have been in relationships with basketball players. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen every episode (I know, I know) and there’s never been any discussion whatsoever of sabatoging birth control or “trapping” athletes with babies. In fact, the over-arching dynamic is of athletes who want a wife and kids but also want to cheat on the side and how much the wives will put up with before leaving. This dude is completely projecting his own baseless and false ideas of women’s behavior onto the show and all women everywhere.
Also, I love when men accuse feminists of “playing the victim” and then, in the same breath, claim that men are the REAL victims.
@Jenny: I agree. I’ve only seen bits and pieces of the show, and while some of the women are distinctly unlikeable (in the narcissistic, catty, materialist way of most women on reality shows), I don’t remember ever having seen discussions of anyone “trapping” an athlete by getting pregnant.
And yeah, dude’s got a major persecution complex, doesn’t he?
Does anyone else have issues with the phrase: “Bust a nut”?
It just reminds me of “squeeze a zit” or some other unpalatable bodily function. Not that I’m surprised this guy is one of those men who see women as a waste receptacle, but you know.
Ah, now I understand. It’s okay to put on a condom, thus fooling your partner into believing that she’s about to have safe sex, then-surprise!-take it off during sex to get a better sexual experience. Caveat sex partner! But if she gets pregnant as a result of this clever strategem, well, he didn’t intend that she would get pregnant, so it doesn’t count.
Asshole. I wish for him a life of erectile dysfunction, so he’ll never have to worry again about “getting a better nut”.
Until Becky pointed out that “Jesus” might be an interjection, I assumed he meant to imply that all women are self-martyring. Because that one’s a favorite with some douchebags that I know. “You secretly love to be abused, because it means you get to be a martyr!” Amiright, ladies? We totes just want to be canonized.
I’d also like to point out that if he IS using Jesus as an interjection, wouldn’t that technically be worse than cursing, at least according to the Old Lady Language Police?
Either way, he’s douchetastic!
What’s a woman’s bodily sovereignty when a man’s nut is at stake?
@QueenGeorge: Yes, usually taking the Lord’s name in vain is worse than “shit.” At least, if one cares about such things.
@JetGirl: Totally gross. Also, “bust a nut” sounds painful. Usually guys freak out at the thought of anything painful/forceful/violent happening to their junk.
Ah, yes- the ol’ “women who get pregnant are gold-digging sluts but the men who impregnate them are just doing what every man would naturally do”. I guess we women just need to accept that whatever a man does is good and noble, no matter the circumstances.
And really, this dood is surprised that this made it to the internet? I suppose there should be some kind of screening process so that silly lady opinions aren’t taking up space that could be going to more sophisticated content, like videos of monkeys falling off tree branches after sniffing the fingers they just used to scratch their nether regions.
LOL to the last part Becky. It reminds me of when I exclaim, JESUS CHRIST! and the BF is like, “yes, my child?”
Seriously though, “simply trying to get a better nut,” is the troll commentary to end all troll commentary. Just…no words for that example of High Crimes of Assholery.
Wait, wait, so this guy isn’t arguing that men engage in behaviors that would get their partners pregnant against that partners stated wishes, he is just arguing that said men undertake this action in order to have more pleasurable sex and not to control their partners. Because the better sex/ possible pregnancy behaviors themselves *aren’t* douchey and controlling?
Our troll doesn’t just have a problem with women, he has a devastating problem with language too!
@bella: The right to a better nut is enshrined as one of the “certain inalienable rights” in the Douche-claration of Independence.
The more I hear from the trolly trolls, the more I think Ms. Solanas’ might have made some good points.
I know it’s wrong, but a part of me REALLY hopes this dude gets herpes trying his “get a better nut” method.
Also, @Becky: Ba-dum ching!
But, but, Mr. Troll! I thought the best nut was on a woman’s face, amirite?
Even if his argument that men only take off condoms because it feels better, and not to control their partners…does he realize how STUPID he’s painting all men to be? “I think I’m just going to take off this condom because it’ll feel better for the next 5 minutes and…hmmm…wait, wasn’t there something the condom’s supposed to DO? Isn’t it supposed to serve some sort of purpose? Aw, screw it.”
I refuse to believe that men are that stupid. Some men, maybe. But to claim that that’s the primary reason for most men who take off condoms in the middle of sex? Give your gender some credit, dude!
(Although, I dunno, FWIW I can think of at least 4 partners I’ve had just within the last year who took off the condom halfway through sex. It does seem to be EXTREMELY common…)
Any man who takes off a condom for any reason, other than at the end of sexual intercourse, is a Class A-1 Fuckwit. Sorry. Had to be said. Men are the reason women get pregnant, and rarely anymore, it seems, are they taking adequate precautions to keep it from happening. They’re not even discussing it with a partner. As I wrote on Jezebel, “Don’t go around cramming your cock into women and crossing your fingers that nothing happens.”
Put him on the rocket ship with the rest of the douchenozzles and we’ll colonize Mars. No women, just rapists and poor persecuted sexist asshats.
Oh, yes, the Martian colony of New Australia.
I remember reading, in the context of distinguishing between murder in the first degree (deliberate, intended), and things like manslaughter (not deliberate or intended), that the law will not accept claims that you ‘didn’t intend’ an obviously likely consequence of your action. That is, if you admit that you stabbed someone right through the chest, on purpose, while they were sleeping, you can’t claim that you only intended an injury short of death; death is an obviously likely consequence of a stab to the chest.
Likewise, pregnancy is an obviously likely consequence of unprotected sex. It may not have been the guy’s primary goal, but it was an effect he was willing to cause in pursuit of his goal, and that makes it part of his Intent.
Just because a dude knocks you up by pulling a condom off against your will doesn’t make you a victim. That’s like calling Kleenex a victim because a dude spooged in it. You have to be a human being to be a victim.
@bella, I thought of Ms Solanas as well
I can’t stop laughing at how shocked he is “$#!% like this makes it on the web.” You know, because the web has such an arduous screening process. It’s not an Ivy League school douche-canoe, it’s THE INTERNET.
For the record, I am not saying your post isn’t Ive League worth, SarahMC. It totally is.