Askmen.com is almost too cartoonishly misogynistic to bother with. Almost. The latest crap-rag of an article I’ve seen swirling around the ‘net is titled “Reasons Women Withhold Sex,” by one Sarah Stefanson, who apparently has access to a secret trove of papers indicating the inner workings of the Universal Lady Brain. Stefanson proves her bona fides as a Honorary Dude by giving up The Secret that women everywhere learn upon reaching menarche: sex is gross, icky, demeaning, and to be avoided, unless it can be traded for something more useful, like sparkly rocks or a promotion.
Wait, you didn’t get that memo? Me neither. But how else to interpret this sort of piffle?
“it is precisely when you start to expect sex from your girlfriend that she starts using that presumption against you”
See, here’s the deal, Sarah (can I call her Sarah?): one shouldn’t expect sex from anyone else. Being in a relationship is no guarantee of sex. Yes, sex matters (unless it doesn’t), but “sex” does not equal PIV (the presumption under which Stefanson is laboring), nor does it mean “one partner using the other as a humpy toy.”
If a woman — or a man, since those with developed prefrontal cortexes (corteces?) know not all men want to have sex at all times, under all circumstances — is uninterested in sex, there is very likely a logical reason for that. In fact, Stefanson goes on to list several reasons a woman might simply not want to have sex, including: “she’s tired,” “she’s bored,” and “she’s pissed.” Unfortunately, she counts these as reasons women withhold sex.
“To withhold” implies not simply a lack of desire, disinterest, or general aversion, but an active, socially motivated move that may indeed counter one’s personal inclinations. To withhold implies that one is cutting off one’s nose to spite one’s face. Are there women (and men) who withhold sex? Of course. Does this behavior account for the vast majority of women who don’t want to have sex at any given opportunity? Oh HELL no.
Stefanson acknowledges that “there is a difference between a woman simply not wanting to have sex and purposefully withholding it,” but she seems unable to parse it. Askmen readers: if a woman doesn’t want to fuck you right now, maybe she just doesn’t want to fuck you right now. No need to read all that sex-hating, women-vs.-men shit into it, mkay?