I’ve got plans for a karaoke night, the US-Ghana soccer match, and a birthday cookout, among other things. These are all equal-opportunity social functions, and I’m looking forward to them. But that’s ’cause I’m a girl. If I were a MAN, I’d skip out on all that emotive, European stuff and head down to the Charlotte, NC metro area for a mancation. Specifically:
It’s the manliest weekend festival, in the manliest city in the U.S., which is of course the manliest of countries! Manly man manness! MAN!
Yes, there really is such a thing as DudeFest, which is dedicated to “reinforcing the strengths of southern masculinity [this is presumably what makes them manlier than all those effete “guys” in NYC, Chicago, or Seattle], grace, and respect in our every day lives.”
The slogan: We are ALL Dudes, and it’s OK!!!
It’s OK, guys! Take pride in your mass consumption of the the ‘”Official Cheese-Filled Snack of NASCAR” (that would be Combos TM) and it’s relationship to your gender-compliant awesomeness! Who knows better what constitutes appropriate masculine behavior than a multinational corporation responsible for Pepperoni Pizza Cracker-flavored, goo-filled tubes? WHO, I ask you?
And there’s a special bonus: some of the proceeds from DudeFest will go everyone’s favorite tit-crazy charity, Save the Ta-Tas!
I know I’ll be telling my Dude about this. He’s so manly! You might see him there–he’ll be the one beating his chest while his huge balls drag on the ground.