I was released from grand-jury duty around lunch-time (huzzah!), and, in need of some catfood for the Dork-Dude Three, swung into a pet-supply store near the courthouse, where I happened to pause and see this:
Amazing. Apparently, pink coloring is enough to make your Pikachu a princess (just like you!). I did not see any rodent-sized cone-hats, but I haven’t checked Etsy yet. I did, however, see this, right next to it on the shelf:
I can’t find a legible photo of it, but the box illustration shows an armor-clad young man wielding a sword while riding a rearing white stallion (stallion not included).
But the best part is the marketing blurb I found when I got home:
Once upon a time there lived a Pink Princess hamster and a Blue Knight gerbil. They searched for their perfect home, until one day, they found the perfect castle for each of them. Featuring their very own exercise wheel, water bottle, high-rising hideaway, plastic housing to help reduce drafts, an inner court yard with abundant room for sleep and play, and two levels of royal living, these castles have everything a fair hamster princess or brave gerbil knight could want. Plus, plenty of places to add more toobs and other fun accessories. Best of all, the castle colors match their personalities perfectly- pretty pink for the Princess, and bold blue for the Knight. Your adventure can begin with your very own Pink Princess or Blue Knight castle- the perfect home for your hamster or gerbil.
Girl hamsters are fair and pretty! You can look at them! Their personalities are best described as “pink”!
Boy hamsters–sorry, gerbils–are brave and bold! They (probably) do stuff! That’s totally a blue quality.
Despite my title, and the hamsters-are-girls, gerbils-are-boys bullpuckey, this isn’t about animals. This is about telling children, over and over and over again, that there are two (and only two) kinds of people, who behave–and should behave–in mutually exclusive ways.