My dad commited suicide about 18 months ago, and sometimes I blog about it. One of my friends recently commented that she was so impressed with how well I have dealt with it. That is a compliment I hold to myself, and I take it out and look at it when I’m sad or don’t feel like I’m coping. That community of (mostly older, wiser) women around my blog has really helped me understand this grief thing and how to deal with it, and to be gentle with myseld. That compliment means a lot to me.

And two from my manpanion. When I first brought him home and we talked until 5am, we ended up snuggling in bed. Still talking. Neither of us had started the evening with designs on each other, and I had invited him to crash at mine in the spirit of friendship. But by this time it was obvious we were going to be a Thing. As I was drifting off to sleep he said ‘I like your voice. It’s so soothing and lovely, with just the right hint of snark’. It was completely unexpected and heartfelt, and it floored me.

Then, this past weekend, I had a nightmare that we were in a zombie apocalypse and he got bit and I had to shoot him. It was completely terrifying. When I woke up and told him about it, he said ‘I am proud of you for doing the right thing’. Completely ridiculous, I know! But still, strangely comforting.

I know sometimes, when people pay me compliments, I have a tendency to think, “Thanks for the compliment, but you are really overstating my talent/ looks/ abilities/ etc.” We are our own worst critics, and it’s time to stop being deprecating, and own the compliments. To that person you ARE good/ beautiful/ wonderful/ smart/ imaginative. My sister once said, if you believe something, the positive thinking helps make it true. The same goes for negative thinking; so believe the positive!

One of my best compliments: Once I skipped a class after taking an AP exam. I could have gone to class, but none of my friends were going and bowing to peer pressure, I decided to join them for an extended lunch.
The teacher found out (because one student decided to go to class). A teacher I really admired, and respected. And was obviously really hurt by the fact that pretty much all of us skipped class.
So I apologized. Apparently I was the only student to do so, and he wrote me a letter at the end of the year, telling me that he admired me for apologizing, and for the level of my improvement over the course of the year (I was able to bring my grade up one full letter because of my score on the final). It was a wonderful letter to receive after such a difficult year (both academically and personally). I ended up asking him to write my recommendation letters, and since I got into all the schools I applied to, I imagine he wrote pretty great recs for me.

I was singing some country song on a tour bus with my class in France, because we didn’t have any music, and everyone else just stopped singing and listened. Then one of the girls I was with (also a musician) said, “You have an AMAZING voice.”

And then my friend saying, very sincerely, “[Isa] is the smartest person I have ever met.”

Probably not true, but flattering nonetheless.

It’s one of my favorite novels and… she’s the embodiment of the pioneer spirit and the land, people! Wow. This compliment (really an off-the-cuff remark) occurred almost 25 years ago and to this day – wow.