Dear Madam:
Thank you for letting us all know which holiday you celebrate and how you prefer to be greeted this month. I realize it’s vexing when people wish you a “Happy Holidays”. You should not have to endure the indignity of being automatically lumped in with non-Christians, just because they happen to celebrate other holidays this time of year (even atheists, who are known to get toasted on New Year’s Eve).
It’s a free country, after all, so just because other people acknowledge—and even celebrate—the diversity of American society doesn’t mean you have to. And I’m sure that button on your sweater makes your Palestinian Jewish friend Yeshua ben Yosef awfully proud.
Chag sameach,
Becky
I’m gonna eat an extra latke in your honor tomorrow, Becky!
You know, when I was working retail, if I saw someone wearing that button I would have given an extra-earnest “Happy Holidays!” greeting. I mean, I was always a happy holidays person anyway- being Jewish and all, I feel no need to wish anyone a merry Christmas. But I would have been just earnest and cheerful enough to set this woman off on a rampage, because it would have amused me back in my high school retail job days.
Somehow, I don’t think that’s what she was going for.
Was she also wearing a button that said, “It’s okay to call me a Christian chauvinist?” Do we really have to endure another manufactured war on christmas?
Merry Giftmas!
Spot on! I unleashed a very similar sentiment to my husband yesterday after seeing a woman at the grocery store with the same line on her bumper sticker. It was all I could do to march her back into the store and point out the perpetual assault of piped-in Christmas (not “holiday”!) music and cavalcade of Christmas crap as far as the eye could see. How are these people victims, exactly?
My entire family has these and wears them.
My mother told me that she tells everyone merry christmas, because she’s a christian. But she wouldn’t mind if a Jewish person told her happy channukah, or if some other religious person said happy whatever heathenblaspheming holiday or whatever. Because she doesn’t mind when other people are other religions, if only everyone would leave the victimized christians alone.
I was like, You have got to be fucking kidding me.
And this is why hanging out with my family is like a constant headdesk. My mother, for the record, also fucking LOVES sarah palin.
Sarah Palin — SARAH PALIN — put up a “happy Hannukah” message on her facebook and got told off because “there’s only one holiday in December, it’s on the 25th”, “Jesus is the reason for the season”, etc. Aaaaaah as if no cultures before Christianity had a light festival in the middle of winter!!!!! *headsplode*
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by mischa, Pursuit of Harpyness. Pursuit of Harpyness said: To The Lady At Target Wearing the “It’s Okay to Wish Me A Merry Christmas” Button http://bit.ly/hKgiJC [...]
*snerk* It’s also ok NOT to wish her a whatever she wants. What a whiner.
Sarah Palin, stay the bloody hell away from my holidays.
@baraqiel Did Palin get told off on her own FB page or elsewhere? I saw in Slate that she moderates her page comments very tightly.
When the right talks about the Judeo-Christian culture, don’t you get the feeling that just under the surface there’s this barely suppressed urge to dump the Judeo part?
When the right talks about the Judeo-Christian culture, don’t you get the feeling that just under the surface there’s this barely suppressed urge to dump the Judeo part?
YES.
@rodriguez – On her own page. I was shocked, actually, that that happened, especially given that she’s queen of the wingnuts and the two holidays are separated by about two weeks this year so it’s not like we’ll actually be celebrating it during Christmas itself. But I guess the whole month is off-limits to everyone!
@baraqiel: I’m not all that shocked. The right wing is constantly trying to pander to Jewish voters to see if they can peel some of them away from the Democrats, especially the older, more conservative Jews in Florida. It fits with their hawkish pro-Israel stance and their narrative that Obama is possibly a Muslim and certainly not a friend of Israel.
Being of the English persuasion, I would like to throw more confusion into the mix and insist you wish me a HAPPY Christmas, unless you are trying to save time and wish me a happy new year, in which case a merry Christmas is marginally acceptable.
Now tell me, will this fit on a badge and/or bumper sticker?
@Becky – No, not that, I was shocked that even she was not immune to getting “war on Christmas” scolds.
Personally, I wish the phrase “Jude-Christian” would disappear from the earth. There just is no such thing, and it does neither Judaism nor Christianity any favors to pretend there is.
@mm I have a rough idea (maybe?) of why you say that, but can you say why you think so?
Sorry, Judeo-Christian. I have no problem with Jude.
@mischiefmanager: AMEN (so to speak)!!! I(a Jew) have been saying this for ages–the phrase started bothering me when I was nine. It seems to me that people who use “Judeo-Christian” just want to pad their numbers in order to give their arguments greater weight without bothering find out whether or not Judaism and Christianity converge on the issue at hand. Or they want to lump Jews and Christians together for the express purpose of playing up a nonexistent extra-big difference between them and Muslims.
@rodriquez: Judaism and Christianity come from very different theological foundations. We have some beliefs in common, but the reasoning behind those beliefs is not the same.
The phrase was created to serve not theological, but political, purposes. For Jews, it allowed us to pretend that we weren’t a religious minority but part of the mainstream. For Christians, it pays lip service to honoring Judaism while blurring the differences between the two. Too many Jews use it out of ignorance of their own tradition. For right wing-Christians, the phrase suggests that Judaism existed only to create the pre-conditions for the emergence of Christianity.
There’s just no good, legitimate, useful reason for the phrase to exist.
@mm & Anka thanks for that, both of you. So useful.
So so OT, as per usual, but, what do you think is the best way to encapsulate the Jerusalem half of the Jerusalem/Athens split, then?
I guess I am asking that if the phrase “Judeo-Christian” has problems for those (very good) reasons that you list, then how should we describe the shared culture that derives from both traditions?
Do you think there is no such shared culture, maybe? Or should we just refer to it as “Jerusalem” as some do?
Or do you think that if we are explicitly speaking about a topic other than theology or in the questionable political contexts you suggest, it might be ok?
I’ve found that if you REALLY want to piss off people who get super-sensitive about their precious Christmas, remind them that Christmas is basically a Pagan holiday.
It’s okay to wish me a Happy Festivus.
Pleasant Shark Week!
Cracked has a pretty good Hannukah article up (though I was sad to see how poorly Gladstone understood gelt): http://www.cracked.com/blog/8-questions-gentiles-love-asking-about-hanukkah/
BearDownCBears FTW!
I was raised Protestant, have always celebrated Christmas with all the trimmings (commercial and religious) and I have said “Happy Holidays” and “Seasons’ Greetings” almost interchangeably with “Merry Christmas” my entire life. When I was a kid, I thought “Happy Holidays” referred to the fact that Christmas and New Year’s fell together, so you celebrated both almost at once. As I got older and met people of other faiths, I thought “Oh, that’s nice to have a multipurpose friendly greeting to use.”
As a Christmas-celebrator, never once have I felt offended that someone wished me “Happy Holidays.” Heck, I wouldn’t mind if they wished me “Happy Hanukkah”. I don’t celebrate it, beyond enjoying latkes, but if that’s their holiday then I appreciate them including me in their holiday greetings.
I am, however, offended by Christians who take what is meant to be a joyful occasion when we are called to celebrate and share joy and peace with the world, and turn it into yet another thing to be a divisive A-hole about.
(A follow-up: I realize that saying I “wouldn’t mind” being wished a happy Hanukkah or other holiday makes me sound like one of those “I’m so awesome and tolerant” jerkwads. I didn’t meant it to sound that way. It’s just that I *do* know people who would find that offensive for some reason, and it always strikes me as dumb that they would get annoyed at another person for celebrating a holiday that they don’t. I sincerely appreciate when others reach out to include me in any kind greeting, holiday-based or not.
Also, it’s early and I haven’t had caffeine.)
@rodriguez: I’d eliminate that phrase and that concept from my religious vocabulary altogether. I’ve never heard it expressed as a Jerusalem/Athens split, but to me that’s not a helpful description either, as rabbinic Judaism, which is what we now practice, has its roots in Babylon even more than in Jerusalem.
Shared culture? I’m not sure what that means. Could you elaborate?
My computer here doesn’t seem to allow for spaces between paragraphs, so I’m posting this as a separate comment.
Really, I don’t know what the purpose of the exchange of holiday greetings is in a public context. That is, expecting a salesperson or waitperson or bus driver or whatever to say the right phrase so as not to offend any given individual is just nonsensical. You shouldn’t be depending on other people, strangers at that, to validate your religious experience. If you know each other personally, fine, but there is simply no reason to expect, in our heterogeneous culture, that any random person shares your beliefs. The less said, the more considerate, imo. As a Jew, I grew up smiling politely when people wished me Merry Christmas, and I know that it was hardly ever meant as a jab, but really, I’m 56 years old and I’m over it already.
@mm It seems to me that a good portion of our “Western” culture was/is created by secular or cultural (or pick a better adj.) Jewish thought and achievement, and that some of it arose precisely because of Jewish cultural experiences. The best example I can think of is Spinoza. His experience is so clearly marked by a shared culture.
@mischiefmanager
This is a very good point. When I visit a store or eat at a restaurant, I really don’t expect any greeting beyond “hello” or “Welcome to X Place of Business.” At work, if people are leaving for the holidays, “Have a great weekend” should suffice. If I visit a store over Labor Day, nobody tells me to “Have a Merry Labor Day Weekend!” (and that is a holiday that most Americans celebrate somehow, if only through a day off).
Why are people obsessed with enforcing their religious holiday preference?
@rodriguez: I wouldn’t consider Spinoza a secular/cultural Jew, any more than I would consider Einstein or Freud in that light. They were all raised in Jewish thought and practice, and they all considered themselves more than cultural Jews. Does that make sense?
@mm On Spinoza we will part company, because I think a very formative experience of Spinoza was his expulsion from the synagogue. Also, I realize that Freud’s mother and especially father were quite devout, but I’ll part company with you for your classification of him too. He is quite angry at Judaism & Christianity, in my view.
Einstein, meh, could go either way, as I see it, although I pretty much lean against there too.
bellacoker, the article made me giggle a lot. I’ve devoted a significant amount of time in my life explaining to people why I, raised by a Jewish mother and a protestant step-father celebrated the high holy days and Pesach, but not Chanuka.
My worst war on Christmas memory is when a woman in Indianapolis wrote an op-ed explaining that non-Christians wouldn’t be gift shopping during the Christmas season, so they wouldn’t be in the stores to be wished a Merry Christmas. Of course, the store at the center of the controversy that year was Target . . . Apparently non-Christians also don’t need tampons or deodorant during December.
@rodriguez: Sure, but the way they thought was formed by Judaism, even after they parted company with it, voluntarily or otherwise. The id/superego dichotomy is nothing more than the yetzer ha-ra/hetzer ha-tov with different names.
I for one am so damn sick of having religion shoved down my throat everywhere I turn. At some point I’m going to scream at some damn fool that I’m a satanist “and do you know where your children are!?”
Jesus.
OH Shit, sorry.
I’m not Jewish, but I have taken to responding to FB posts urging everyone to replace “Happy Holidays” with “Merry Christmas” with a cheery Happy Channukah. Oddly, they respond simply by “liking” my post. No discussion, and apparently no thought as to why someone might do that. When Channukah is over, I believe I begin wishing them a “Good Solstice”.
PS: I hope that my borrowing the Channukah greeting isn’t offensive – please let me know if it is. I’m just trying to make the point that there are many holidays in December.
@mm if the thread peters out enough maybe no one will notice, and you can explain that phrase to me.
It’s the synthesis of two streams that I was referring to in my second comment on the phrase “Judeo-Christian”. You’ve convinced me that the phrase has some serious problems in the realm of theology and in some other cases too. But there’s not a term I know of to describe the part of our culture that stems from both religions.
You might not feel that Spinoza and Freud took their influences from both cultures, but as I mentioned, that’s where we disagree.
Of course Spinoza was clearly formed by Jewish culture. In his case we have to add the influence of his journey: Catholic Spain and Catholic Portugal expel his community, and they end up in Holland, where Spinoza meets the Reformation, and gets expelled from the synagogue too.
In the case of Freud, his thinking on religion is crystal clear in the Future of an Illusion. And it’s not Jewish, however Jewish his other influences may be. For that book his admitted influence is Feuerbach’s “The Essence of Christianity”. (again, angry at both religions.)
So that’s what I was getting at yesterday. There’s this synthesized middle space that has a name, I just don’t know what it is if it’s not Judeo-Christian. There are other examples that are more positive than these, I suspect.
@wondering: No, not offensive at all. It’s awesome. Although I’m still partial to BearDownCBears: “Pleasant Shark Week!”
@bellacoker: That link is the BEST EVER. I put it on my FB page. Thanks for sharing.
@wondering: Actually, although I don’t find it offensive, I do want to point out that we Jews are already destroying the meaning of what should be a minor holiday by conflating Chanukah and Christmas. So, although Christians are certainly not responsible for educating Jews about their own holidays, I would prefer not to see that trend taken any farther.
When people “liked” your post, if they were Jewish, they were likely falling victim to this problem, and if they were Christian, they were likely falling victim to conscious or unconscious diminishing the value of Judaism as its own entity as opposed to its value as the precursor of Christianity. Using someone else’s holiday to make a point about your own suggests a certain lack of respect, although again, I’m sure you didn’t mean it deliberately. It’s just the way Christians talk and think about Judaism, a sort of “well, it was okay as far as it went, but we’ll take over from here” attitude.
@rodriguez: more tomorrow when I’m not so tired, or you can email me (the Harpies will send you my address if you ask them); I’d like to continue the discussion!
@MM: Or wondering was simply pointing out that Christianity ain’t the only game in town, which to me is being an ally, not diminishing the value of Judaism. If you feel that we Jews are destroying the meaning of a minor holiday, then that’s our problem, and it seems kind of ridiculous to take non-Jews to task for it or expect them to put our house in order for us.
Personally, I think that if Americans—and it’s really only Americans—want to overcommercialize Hanukkah or make it some kind of Jewish Christmas, it’s tacky and culturally problematic, but it’s not a violation of anything holy or theologically significant in our religion. And of all the things that have threatened or diminished our religion over the last five millenia, this is hardly a blip on the radar.
Uh huh, right. It’s saying “Happy Holidays” that has stripped Christmas of it’s meaning, not the tacky, ultra consumerist, mega-commercialized, OMG Christmas decorations are out and it’s not even Halloween yet – SQUEE!!!1!! way we’ve celebrated it for far too long. Yeah.
@Becky: Oh, completely agreed-it’s our doing and our problem to fix. It’s my experience, though, that neither Christians nor enough Jews understand that the importance of Chanukah has been grossly inflated here, so responding to a Christmas greeting with a Chanukah one just confuses the issue more and draws a false equivalency. We Jews have our own major festivals and should let our Christian friends have theirs without whining “us too!”.
Is Chanukah not getting to be a big deal in Israel too? I thought that was the case but I could be wrong.
@MM: Re: Hanukkah in Israel…I’ve only been in Israel once around this time of year and Hanukkah seemed pretty low-key to me. The government, schools, etc. all stay open. The story behind the holiday resonates with Israelis, and they get out the hannukiahs and sufganiyot and celebrate, but it’s not an overcommercialized extravaganza the way Christmas is here. What I remember more from being in Israel in Dec. and Jan. was the flood of Christian tourists coming to celebrate Christmas in Bethlehem.
@Ultimo – ah you beat me too it.
I’m in the camp that finds it weird to wish people happy anything though, I don’t think it’s ever occurred to me to say Happy Christmas to anyone, possibly I am a grinch.
On a side note though I was really embarrassed during last year’s pre-school tours with my daughter because it was during Hanukkah and every classroom we walked into she went ‘look birthday candles, where’s the cake’ at which point I thought I probably was failing to explain holidays of any kind properly.
By posting, I’m actually not doing what I am about to propose we should all do. But for what it’s worth…
Who really gives a damn what anyone says to you regarding holidays, other than close friends and family?
I would venture that most strangers, retail employees included, are just trying to be nice or polite, and the fact that they are ignorant or culturally isolated/insensitive is no reason to get upset and make what is usually meant to be a social nicety into bait for an argument.
If the motivation is anything other than being nice, does anyone think that an asshole is really going to change by our one verbal exchange with him/her.
I’m Jewish, but when ppl wish me a Merry xmas…I just say thanks, you too, and leave it at that…unless the person has a relationship to me that is important in some way. Then I let them know I don’t celebrate xmas when the time is right. Sometimes the right time is not during their good-wishes, sometimes it is.
I just don’t think putting any energy, negative or otherwise, into people I may never see again is really the best use of my energy. I probably would have done so when I was younger…but I’m nearing 50 and there are just so many more things that are more important to me than making a point with a stranger.
My very Christian elderly grandmother goes to a right-wing sort of church, mostly b/c that’s where my grandfather went during his lifetime (she didn’t go when he was alive haha.) And she is one of those ppl who will say we should not say “happy holidays’ or write Xmas instead of Christmas. But she is almost 90, she is a saintly person and really doesn’t understand all the ramifications of her views…so instead of making a point with her, I pretty much let it go too…altho a couple of times I did say, “grandma, not everyone celebrates xmas so it’s a more polite thing to say.” She didn’t say anything, but gave me an honestly puzzled look, like she couldn’t think of anyone who didn’t celebrate. And in her small town, where she cannot even drive anymore..she probably doesn’t know anyone who doesn’t celebrate.
I tell her story to illustrate a point…we do not know the background of anyone who gives us a holiday greeting–so instead of becoming instantly offended, we should just take it for what it seems to be–a gesture of human kindness.
Education about the issues involved should be saved for our children and for people in our lives who give a shit about what matters to us.