And god help us all if the woman in charge of the woman’s work slacks off a little, because then Timmy and Suzie won’t get presents this Christmas and the dishes will stay unwashed and it certainly won’t be the fault of the other responsible adult in the house (assuming a hetero couple). No wonder gay couples get asked “Who’s the woman?” It’s not just about penetration; it’s astonishment that the apartment hasn’t completely been given over to mice and cockroaches.

/rant brought on by having to clean the apartment for my male roommate who doesn’t even bother to do his own dishes and insists that I just have to nag him more and the prospect of going home tomorrow where my father acts like he is completely incapable of making any sort of adult action although being a senior whoziwhat of a large company and my mother who encourages this sort of behavior from him and fuck I just hate the patriarchy

And yes, I always seemed to be in charge of present buying (birthday and Christmas) for his family. I bitched (on the principle of the thing) but did it, because 1) I like choosing and buying thoughtful gifts, and 2) as commented above, I knew them well enough that they were my friends too, and I didn’t want them disappointed with crappy last-minute gifts.

I kind of blame his mother, who is a lovely woman who I was great friends with and stayed friends with – she treated my ex and his sister very differently with regard to expectations of general competence and getting-shit-done.

He is responsible for gifts for his family, and for choosing and procuring some gifts for our son. I always HATED opening gifts that my step-dad was seeing for the very first time, even though they were ostensibly from him. And he will wrap those gifts, and likely some that I chose and purchased.

I have been adamant that I am not the card-holiday-gift-birthday-appointment-secretary for our family. Of course, my side of the family is the bigger-there’s-always-a-damn-birthday-around-the-corner side, so I keep track of most stuff by default.

Also, they make nativity scenes out of chocolate there. I know it sounds like a plot line out of Curb Your Enthusiasm… http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4007/5164370530_fe61166a72_z.jpg, but it is 100% true.

When my parents divorced, as kids we went to dad’s on Christmas Eve, and did a Christmas lunch with mum. As we got older presents were optional. The Christmas lunch at mum’s became a time for all of us kids to catch up with each other, as not everyone went to dad’s.

Now, I prefer not to celebrate Christmas, and will often not visit family at this time. I don’t do a tree, cards, et al. But I do send a package with decorations to 3 of my family’s homes (2 sisters and my mum), so that they can name one of the decorations after me, and that’s my avatar for Christmas.
I find that even in my low key celebrating family that some of my siblings have expectations of how the day will go at mum’s, but never share them, mix in alcohol, and somehow there’s some family drama that links back to some expectation that wasn’t met and never said.
I usually go camping at this time of year (in Australia it’s perfect weather!) so there is no mobile coverage, internet, etc. And I enjoy this time of year relaxing by bushwalking, bad surfing, swimming, reading, drawing, sleeping, eating bbq food made by me (or the SO)…