My quest to quit smoking has me feeling homicidal, Harpies. Ross Douthat’s latest column inspired me to put my ever-growing rage to good (?) use. This particular piece of abortion-themed concern trolling focuses on a societal problem created by–you guessed it–the sexual revolution. You see, some women are too stupid and selfish to have babies when they should, and thus, find themselves unable to have babies when they try. Another set of women is too stupid and selfish to have babies when they don’t want to, leaving the first set of women without children to adopt.
Sex and the City makes an appearance in the very first paragraph. When will that show’s usefulness run its course for conservatives? But I digress.
Douthat juxtaposes a recent MTV special about abortion with two magazine articles about infertility to illustrate how poorly the young and disadvantaged are serving the needs of the old and desperate.
Prior to 1973, 20 percent of births to white, unmarried women (and 9 percent of unwed births over all) led to an adoption. Today, just 1 percent of babies born to unwed mothers are adopted, and would-be adoptive parents face a waiting list that has lengthened beyond reason.
Some of this shift reflects the growing acceptance of single parenting. But some of it reflects the impact of Roe v. Wade. Since 1973, countless lives that might have been welcomed into families like Thernstrom’s — which looked into adoption, and gave it up as hopeless — have been cut short in utero instead.
This is why girls and women can’t be trusted to make decisions about their own bodies, y’know? Not only do we foolishly use the Pill and delay motherhood, we kill babies who could complete other women’s families. No Easy Decision, which aired on MTV last week, chronicles the experience of a young mom named Markai, who has an abortion. It also features coverage of Dr. Drew Pinsky interviewing her and two other women about their abortion experiences.
Douthat points to Markai’s sadness as proof that she’s been lied to by the pro-choice movement and is lying to herself about what she’s done. Sadness is not the same as regret. Complicated feelings do not mean women should be forced to bear children against their will. Douthat admits that abortion was the best choice available to Markai at the time of her pregnancy, and it will allow her and her boyfriend to give their daughter opportunities she might not otherwise have. And yet, the urge to control women remains.
Douthat needs to familiarize himself with another pair of teens made famous by MTV: Catelynn and Tyler. The couple was featured on the series 16 and Pregnant, and its sequel Teen Mom. Catelynn and Tyler gave their baby up for adoption, and their storyline is the most heart-wrenching of any featured on the two series. Contrary to Douthat’s cheery fantasies, adoption is not the best or easiest option for everyone dealing with an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy. It’s not all rainbows and lollipops. Catelynn and Tyler are satisfied with their decision, but they both suffer a lot of emotional turmoil in the process. It’s possible they always will.
The column concludes with a poem about fetal heartbeats from the perspective of an expectant father.
…
Talk amongst yourselves.
I can’t even begin to comment on this whole carry your baby to term so that another family can adopt it. I just wanted to wish SarahMC luck and patience with the quit smoking deal. I did it a little over three years ago (after I realized I’d been smoking over half my life and I was kind of terrified my dog would get lung cancer from my second hand smoke) and am so glad I did. I’m still on NRT but, frankly, I can be on that for the rest of my life with little to no adverse health consequences. You can do it Harpie!!!
I’m sorry, were you under the impression that women are anything more than baby vessels whose wombs are public property, ripe for speculation of fetus free-marketers? Because that’s how it works in Douthatland. (As you can tell, this column left me pissed with rage also. And I don’t even have the excuse of quitting smoking. Best of luck with that, although it won’t make this garbage any easier to read.)
I just don’t understand how he’s taking a statistic that shows a change in the *proportion* of *births* and arguing that the cause is a thing that *prevents births*. Nowhere in those statistics is any mention of the proportion of pregnancies that lead to births. It is only discussing pregnancies that aren’t aborted. So how is that possibly down to abortion?
Yes, forcing unwilling women to have babies for someone else makes perfect sense to these people – but I don’t see them lining up to be surrogates to give the gift of a child to these barren white middle class women.
“Sex and the City makes an appearance in the very first paragraph”
I think there should be a law similar to Godwin’s Law (re: references to the holocaust) when it comes to “Sex and the City.” Unwarranted, only tangentially-related references to said television show? You automatically lose the argument!
I’ll say it once. No one has a right to be a parent. NO one, under any circumstances. If you want to be one and it doesn’t work out for you, that’s a heartbreaking thing. But it doesn’t mean that we should have a bullpen (as it were) full of young white fertile women who can breed for those who are unable to have biological children. If the Douche thinks abortion is repellent, he should think about what he’s implying. He is a repellent human being who advocates repellent things.
I’m boggling at how his twin obsessions, fetuses and the free market, actually serve to turn his pwecious pwecious baybeez into just another fucking commodity to be sold to the highest bidder. (Women were always already womb-vessels; who gives a shit about them?)
How can he not recognize these statements as monstrous, even by his own standards?
I read this just after watching part of an interview with Ted Turner, who has gone on record saying that more countries should institute a one-child-only policy like China, but stating that poor people can sell their reproductive rights to people who do not wish to stop after just one. No joke. Some people seem to think that anything can be turned into a profitable commodity. GAG.
What annajcook said. I get stabby every time someone uses “SATC” as shorthand for THE STATE OF WIMMINZ TODAY, as though every woman in the US is privileged, white, urban, educated, and still lives in 1999.
Oh, and as for the actual column, it is shitty and poorly reasoned and stereotypically misogynist—i.e. in every way typical of Ross Doubthat.
what an asshole.
SarahMC, I don’t know how you didn’t poke yourself in the eye with any sharp implement near you after reading that article…
I cannot believe that “it’s all the [non-married] wimmins fault for having teh sex and getting up the duff; those norty red wimmins should be loomz providin’ teh fruitz of their wombz for others!”
massive headdesk… I really want to poke my eyes out now..
What femocracy said.
He’s such an asshat. And my head hurts so badly today, I don’t think I can take any more.
Also, I like to state for the record, (though I’m sure it doesn’t need to be stated) that it’s not the responsibility of women who CAN bear children TO bear children. NOT MY JOB to make sure someone else gets a kid.
I’m sick of this “just give it up for adoption”.
Losing my daughter was the worst experience of my life. I wound up hospitalized a year after losing her. I wanted her with all my heart.
Most of the time, the women who carry their (your preffered term) to birth do so because THEY WANT TO PARENT.
Not because THEY WANT SOME MORE FINANCIALLY ENDOWED TWO PARENT FAMILY TO OUTDO THEM AND TAKE THEIR CHILD.
If a woman knows she has not attachment, does not feel that there is a life there, and knows she DOES NOT want to parent…. abortion is the most merciful option for her psychologically, physically and emotionally. I’m pretty damn sure research would back that up.
Adoption is assotiated with PTSD, hospitilization, poorer academic performance in the years following… the studies that have been done are awful.
I’ve read a lot of studies of the affects of abortion (even the ones by the people who have a goal of proving abortion is terrible) and the results pale. the best they can come up with is “some women may feel some sorrow later in life, there is a .o1 percent increase in cancer–maybe, some women like to have post abortion counseling”
Ok, I’m not seeing hospitilization, depression, PTSD, trauma, crying spells, years and years of intense sorrow that can come and go at any time.
Ten years after losing my daughter the pain is still excruciating.
My mother, who placed me for adoption when I was born…
has been in horrible pain as well and she has been diagnosed with PTSD in relation to losing me. As have I in relation to losing my daughter.
It’s just not a , “just give it up for adoption”
If you’re going to carry a child for nine months and bond and feel the movements and feel the hormones shift in your body… then we should provide intensive parenting preparation and support for such women… NOT tell them to they have to give up their child.
If I had not wanted to parent I would have gotten an abortion. I wanted to parent, but all the professionals I talked to gave me spiels about how adoption is the loving choice, it’s the best choice.
Ugh. I’m so sorry for ranting… it doesn’t come up much among people who care about human rights and I am in so much pain over this issue still to this day. And there is no one talk to because everyone thinks adoption is “so wonderful! Oh you get visits! how sweet!”
Yes having my heart ripped out over and over again and trampled on and spit on is sweet.
It’s really sweet.
You have nothing to be sorry for, rox. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you peace and comfort.
What kind of Vatican conspiracy got Ross Douthat (is that REALLY his name???) this job? I have had CCD teachers with better reasoning skills than this.
this is absurd! there is NO shortage of babies to be adopted in this world! unless of course, your preference is little white babies & none of the rest will do…