Y’all may recall a post I wrote a couple years ago about being radically skeeved out by a super-creepy creepster I encountered via an on-line dating site. Guess what? My recent return to on-line dating has uncovered another fine specimen.
To wit, this e-mail I received from a JDate hopeful:
Welcome to Jdate, I saw you in the new member section. You probably will get a lot of e-mails all at once in the beginning. Then it will taper off and you will hear mostly from men over 50, Israel, Africa, and other foreign countries. Your profile caught my attention. I am hoping to find someone cool to spend quality time with me and my dog at the beach. If you don’t find me attractive now, save this e-mail for 2 months and review it again. Maybe I will still be available for you. I guarantee you will find out that most guys on here are not up to par with someone as adorable and educated as you. I am a nice laid back guy with a great family, I am normal, educated with a lot to offer. If you are smart about this I look forward to hearing from you soon, if not then I will expect to hear from you in 2 months when I outshine your other Jdate experiences and you are about to cancel your membership from frustration and New Jersey won’t seem so distant at that point.
You seem like a nice person I wish you the best,
Clearly this dipshit is a practitioner of both Negging and Mansplaining. Note the careful juxtaposition of compliments and insults, as well as his need to explain my own experiences, thoughts and responses to me. I was tempted to just gag and delete, but really, men like this deserve the bitchzooka. So I got mine out. I wrote back:
Let’s see…according to you, I should feel lucky because you paid attention to me and if I’m too picky to date you some day I’ll realize you’re God’s gift to me and count myself fortunate if you’re still willing to give me a chance?
Thanks, but I’ve never attracted to passive-aggressive douchebags who use insults as come-ons and think I’m too dumb to know the difference. So no…I don’t want to meet you, and I’m sure I will have no problem finding someone better. You’re keeping the bar nice and low.
Shockingly, he hasn’t e-mailed me back.