Even WORSE, though, is “When are you going to start a family?” My husband and I are a family of two, thank you very much.

Also, @veganmarcy – intravaginal ultrasounds SUCK. And I make matters worse by cracking ridiculously inappropiate jokes through the entire thing, the poor technician never knows what to do with me!

“My cats are allergic”

also good.

my answer to both the marriage question and the baby question (since after 6 years together we get both) is either, “i don’t know, probably never,” or “none of your goddamn business.”

One of my favourites has the conversation going like this:
Nosy Person: When are you having children?
Me: I’m child free by choice
NP: What, don’t you like children?!
Me: I like children well enough, but I couldn’t eat a whole one.

i’ve had some diagnostics done for GYN health that also had stuff to do with fertility one way or another. it’s amazing how bitter you can feel when you’re having a very uncomfortable transvaginal ultrasound (no warning, thinking it’s only the regular outie-not-innie variety!) and all you hear in the background is how every other woman is there for a pregnancy check and even their radiologists are happy. and you want to adopt, but you don’t know if you can or WHEN you’ll ever be able to. especially without help. and now you don’t even know if a sperm donor clinic is an option, even if you can somehow swing it, because of your unseen unknown inner bits & bobs that just won’t be obvious about how healthy they are or aren’t. and do you have cancer, which might make all of this a moot point. sigh. *hugs* i’m sorry. i hope you get some better news than you’ve been getting.

verity khat –

it actually happened, that bit. in my early 20s i moved to nyc post 9/11 during that economic slump, after my engagement ended, and as soon as i finallllllly got work, i called up my grandparents in ND to share the good news. when my (christian) grandma answered the phone, she sounded distracted, even a bit disappointed. i repeated the news. she said “oh i thought you were going to say you got married”.

i said “to who, the guy who drove my subway train?!”

she was a good person overall so i let it slide. (like when she thought 21 was the age for me to “settle down”). and asking everytime i called her while living with the ex, if we were married yet i.e. not living in sin.

ironically enough, she came to say more and more “oh it’s ok, you work!” (actually she said “that’s right you’re a working girl!” and NO she did not know what that meant! lol)

i think she’d had enough of marriage in her own life, and she’d always wished she could’ve finished college instead of dropping out to get married and become a stay at home mom for the rest of her life. plus, my cousins had kids whether they were up to parenting them or not, so i guess that took some pressure off.

I’m liking “the cats are allergic” more and more, though.

And my husband only got the question from family, but his answer was always, “We need more practice first!” Which is a pretty good way to shut up grandparents and conservative aunts.

I used to shut down nosy queries of “When are you having children?” with, “When I find a responsible father for them.” But, alas, now that I have reached the ancient and decrepit age of 2-fucking-7, it seems that society’s need for my womb to fulfill its purpose has outweighed their need for me to be in a properly sanctioned heterosexual relationship, and I’m getting the “Oh, just go ahead and have some.” And I’m with you, veganmarcy: With who, THE MAILMAN?! Seriously. It’s especially irritating when you know those same people shame single-motherhood, chosen or otherwise.

Soooo, I’m currently testing out (entirely truthfully), “Oh, I want to raise children, but I’m not sure I want to incubate any.” The success rate is about 50-50 so far; those who haven’t had the sense to shut up have certainly entertained me with their idiot comments about womanhood, motherhood, adoption, and “kids these days.”