I am in love with the STFU, Parents Tumblr. Like, really in love. I know some Facebook mommies who would get offended at the idea of the
affection they have for their child openly mocked for all the internet to see, but I think it’s great. My personal favorites are the examples of mommy jacking and the P.O.B. (as much as the name makes me cringe, I do wanna throttle those moms). I can laugh at this, because let’s face it, we can get pretty ridiculous when it comes to the whole kid thing. I will never get the appeal of posting a picture of your child’s bowel movements for the world to see, nor do I get the appeal of making everything about your kid.
The thing is….I am dreading the day I end up on that site. I’ve had my fair share of status updates where I announce that K did something hilarious and OMG everyone is gonna love it. I’ve done a mommy jack here and there. The fear, for me anyway, goes way deeper than the website. What if I do turn into one of those moms? What if my entire life becomes nothing but a tome of motherhood? What if my digital life follows suit? What if all my childfree friends start abandoning me? More importantly, WHY am I wearing mom jeans??It’s absolutely no secret that I have disdain for sacrificial parenting and making ‘mommy’ your identity. The societal pressure you get from the very beginning that babies are wonderful, motherhood is the bomb, and everything about mommy life is going to make you feel whole is completely ridiculous. The damage is that a lot of women go in expecting this and a surprising amount completely buy into this idea. If you don’t…well…..SELFISH MOTHER!
I absolutely buck the notion that my life = my kids. I go out, I dress well, I find time for cosmetics and I have hilarious stuff on my Facebook. My pictures are mostly of me emo-posing to the camera or sauced with my friends. I don’t have a placenta picture, and there are no poop shots. I keep telling myself that my JOB is mom. My kids may call me mom, but it’s mom in title only. I am not mom but I am A mom…if that makes sense. I need to be me to survive.
Then the Renfield Effect kicks in. Sometimes, K does something so hilarious I HAVE to put in on Facebook. Sometimes someone has a status about their second pregnancy and I just HAVE to chime in. There’s a trigger I can’t quite place that makes me go all “yessss massssstaaaah!!” a la Dracula Dead And Loving It. I can’t help it sometimes, K and G are just SO DAMN CUTE that I have to share it…be in awe of my genes people!!!! When all is said and done, it almost feels like a hangover. I can’t believe that I just did that and I swear that I will never do it again.
But, c’mon….how realistic is that? I have a lot of childfree friends I hold dear, and I don’t want to annoy them with the constant kids talk. I also don’t want the other moms to think it’s a constant competition…nor do I want them to think that I hate everything about kids. I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that motherhood is going to intersect with my life more than expected. I have to accept that I may end up on my beloved STFU, Parents someday. The problem is the balance. Where is that fine line between being proud of your kids and being mombot 5000? For those with kids, how do you keep the line strong? For those without…does it ALWAYS bug to hear about kids or is there an acceptable ratio of person being a person : kid talk?
I’d also love to hear your STFU, Parents style stories. Much like the mommy statuses that never go away, I’m sure we all have our share!