Posts about rape do tend to bring the trolls scuttling out from under their bridges, and Marie Anelle’s open letter to odious pro-rapist Judge Robert Dewar was no different. A dude named Ray showed up, and while I deleted his comments, they were so stupid and so ridiculous that I felt compelled to share them with you so we can have a jolly troll-stomp to liven up our weekend. Ray wrote:
FINALLY! A judge with some common sense! This so-called “rape” was nothing more and nothing less than a MISUNDERSTANDING about whether consent was given or not. And when a girl is sporting a tube top and high-heels to go with her tight jeans, has some drinks with a guy, suggests they go skinny-dipping, gets into a car with this guy she just met, then she is, at the very least, CONTRIBUTING to that misunderstanding.
So, yeah, your garden-variety rape apology. Obviously, Ray believes a man has the right to rape a woman because that woman was drinking or wearing a tube top or skinny-dipping. Even if he was convicted of rape, well…the rapist just misunderstood the situation, and that was the victim’s fault. Personally, I’ve worn tube tops, had drinks, and yes, even skinny-dipped with men, and shockingly, those men all understood that none of those things made it okay to rape me. Maybe I hang out with men who are smarter than Ray, who appears to be still struggling with that concept (ditto Judge Dewar, who should know better).
There was more to the comment, but I won’t bore you with it. It concluded with….the man-haters clearly won’t let this go, until he is given a punishment that will ruin his life. [which, I might add, is a clear violation of what we in America condemn as the barbaric practice of "double jeopardy".] Now, protection against double jeopardy prevents a citizen from being tried again for the same crime once he’s been acquitted. The rapist here was convicted, not acquitted, so he won’t be tried again. Since double jeopardy has nothing to do with sentencing, there’s no chance of double jeopardy here at all.
I sent Ray a little note in the comments, telling him that he was a rape apologist who should STFU and go away (and maybe also look up “double jeopardy” while he’s at it). I had the feeling he might be lurking. Turns out, he was. And he tried to post another comment, which was even more of a howler. Because, y’all, it seems I was censoring him, and also, I hurt his feelings:
Dear Becky;
I didn’t write my comment just for you; it was an editorial I submitted to dozens of sites. I don’t need your approval. The brave sites; and the ones willing to consider BOTH sides of the issue; and the ones who are against censorship just on principle; they ALL “approved” it.
In addition to looking up “double jeopardy”, Ray should also check out “censorship.” I’m not the government, so I can’t censor anyone. And while he may feel that morally he doesn’t need me to approve of his opinion—which is true, he doesn’t—he needs our approval to post his comment on our website. And guess what? We ain’t giving it. If others want to, that’s their business.
I’m not ignorant. Ignorant would be an unwillingness to consider both sides of the issue. I’m not a woman hater. I love women. My mom was a woman.
Mine too! Funny how that works! But having a mother has never prevented misogyny—every single rapist and woman-hater ever born came out of some woman’s body. Having a mama—even one you love—doesn’t mean you can’t hate women in general.
And I’m not a rape apologist–but SOMEBODY should apologize for the fact that it’s even possible for a young man to face a prison sentence over drunken, regrettable sex in a he-said/she-said situation.
It’s possible for us all to face a prison sentence if we break the law. Which this young man did, according to a jury of his peers. No one thinks its necessary to apologize for there being laws against rape…except for rape apologists like you, Ray.
I know what double-jeopardy means here in America.
No, you don’t. Or you’d know it applies only to those acquitted of crimes.
But yes, I’m quite painfully aware that it doesn’t mean the same thing in less civilized countries such as Canada.
This is not true; Canadian citizens are protected from double jeopardy under their constitution as well.
If you wish to reply, please do so by E-mail. Not sure I’ll be checking back here, now that the UNwelcome mat has been unfurled.
Did we make you feel unwelcome? Oh noes!
Love,
–Ray
Thanks for the love, Ray, but honestly, nothing’s less adorable than a rape apologist. I did get some larfs picking apart your dumbassery, though, so thanks for that.
Oh, BeckySharper, I do love it when you break out the Bitchzooka.
“Less civilized countries like Canada”? Nothing like adding ignorant, flag-waving insult to hateful, woman-bashing injury. I only wish that we had this clown’s picture so we could post it on don’tdatehimgirl.com
Why do the Rays of this world always think they are saying something new and profound when they post these little odes to rape apology? Do they think we really haven’t all heard this shit before?
Although I did enjoy the double jeopardy mistake here, especially when combined with good old fashioned I-don’t-understand-censorship 101. Got to find something about these comments that doesn’t make me want to cry…
@gherkinfiend: I think it’s a particularly American thing to talk out your ass and insist that you have all these rights! and freedoms! under our Constitution and yet have no idea exactly what those rights and freedoms are or how they work in the real world.
I also see this all the time with evangelical Christians who go on and on about the Ten Commandments and how they should be law, etc, etc. , but when I ask if they can tell me what exactly the commandments are, they rarely get more than five right.
@mischiefmanager, you beat me to the “less civilized countries like Canada” gem … I mean, WTF?
And it always mystifies me, the thinking that goes into signing hateful shit like this “love.” Is it just reflexive? Or do they think it makes everything that came before okay …?
“I’m not a woman hater. I love women. My mom was a woman.”
This is magical. This makes me think that it’s actually, like, Gloria Steinem just fucking with us after too many margaritas or something. Nobody can be that stupid, right?
there are times when i think ms solanis was kinda right in her thinking
(thanks for the web harpy who did the interwebs linking magic
)
@mackey: Yr welcome!
I was sharing this with my husband and we had a good hearty laugh over it. It was also highly educational for him because he truly did not believe that men thought this way.
I don’t know if I was laughing more because of the troll or because every time Keith read more of the troll post he kept laughing and going “douche…….oh god, super douche…..holy shit, mega douche….hahahahahaha uber douche!!!”
He also looked at me dryly and said “that’s it, you’re wearing a parka and ugly shoes when you go out now…your heels are telling men to rape you!”
So thank you, Ray. You brought my husband and I closer together and taught him a thing or two about rape culture.
Note to Ray, if you are lurking and you probably are. You may be more my age, a man in his 50′s, maybe not. But we men are in a hole of our OWN construction and we need to stop digging. Listen to your sisters man! Rape is not taken seriously, its glorified, its victim blamed, its a crime that affects them WAY more than us. It may not be YOU, but listening to my own son use ‘rape’ the word in video games, it has to stop. Be framed for what it is . an epidemic tragedy we are doing to them and perpetuating. You probably mean well. But this is not the way to show it from what I’ve learned.
Is it just me, or is it deeply sad that he thinks commenting on someone’s blog (even several someones’ blog) is the same as “submitting his editorial”? Ray doesn’t get it, and by “it” I mean everything.
Is it sad that, reading what you posted, the first thing that sprang to mind was, “Well, at least he didn’t say YOU deserved to be raped, or threaten to rape you.”
Every time I talk about rape, I get at least one of those.
@geekgirls: Yikes. But not to worry—I have his full name, IP and e-mail addresses, so if he had done that, there would have been significant consequences for him.
I have a lot of love for this post and its comments. Thank you for explaining the not-as-obvious-as-we-think-it-is difference between censorship and merely not patronizing or facilitating someone’s opinion. That gets me every time.
I posted this in the Judge thread but this guy Ray is obviously in agreement…substitute “troll” for “judge”!
“The judge said “Screw ‘em!
Boys, you’re only human.
They brought it on themselves
By being born a woman.
Like a mountain’s there to climb
And food’s there to be eaten,
Woman’s there to rape,
To be shoved around and beaten.
(…)
violate a woman,
Your equal and your peer,
The judge will slap you on the wrist
And lay the blame on her”
http://www.lyricstime.com/malvina-reynolds-the-judge-said-lyrics.html
Ugh, men who find it necessary to proclaim, “I love women!” make me shudder, because I’ve never actually met a man who said that who wasn’t completely sexist.
Hey, Ray- Ted Bundy’s mom was a woman, too! And Charlie Sheen’s! And Ray Carruth’s! And Mel Gibson’s!
Although I’m sure our buddy Ray has a brilliant treatise on why those bitchez totally deserved it.
Riiiiiiiiiight. And stealing Ray’s car from outside his house to take it on a joyride that ends in the scrap-yard compactor is “just a misunderstanding” and “a mistake” and I totally shouldn’t go to jail for it. Totally makes sense. *rolls eyes*
Oh, and Ray, you don’t love-love women. You “love” women the same way you say “I LOVE pizza!”–you appreciate the pleasure it brings, but if you’re not hungry you forget about it and you feel completely justified in being irate with it if it disagrees with you.
The trolls. They are stupid.