In last week’s FFT thread about three wishes, JP wished for a time machine. That was pretty fucking brilliant, and rodriguez suggested we have a FFT devoted to the question, “What would you do if you had a time machine?”
So have at it, y’all! What would you do with a time machine? Anyone want to go back in time and stay there? Are there places you want to see or events you’re dying to witness? To change? Tell us!
I’d go hunting for the Bishop’s Bird Stump.
I’ve always regretted that Paul Newman and I were not young and single at the same time. I could fix that.
Also, I would totally sneak into baby Adolf Hitler’s bedroom and smother him with a pillow. For real.
@annajcook: !!! <3<3<3!
I think I'd go back to the days before Katrina, warn the White House about it, and end up spending the rest of my days languishing in Guantanamo.
I would have gotten physiotherapy for my husband years ago.
It would be brilliant to warn people of coming natural disasters.
Also, I could check out the winning numbers to the Pools each week. Then I could anonymously donate (on a weekly basis) to all the great causes or projects that are in need of a whopping big amount of cash.
And then, for my own pleasure, I’d spy on all the Tudors, help out Michelangelo with painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and study famous cities as they evolved over centuries- maybe altering plans to make some them more people friendly.
(I loved the idea of admitting Hitler to Art School!)
I think I’d have murder on my mind also: Paul of Tarsus or Amos.
But, I bet when I got there, I couldn’t do it. So then I’d have to spend a lot of time thinking of the best way to just divert them from ever learning to write.
I’d go back to 2000 and drag more Florida Democrats out to vote for Gore. Come to think of it, maybe I’d just go back to have a chat with the Founding Fathers about that electoral college idea.
Yes to Becky and her pillow plot too.
I’ve always wanted to be able to visit my childhood house and town in various eras before I was born. See how things grew and changed city-wise and landscape-wise, how people lived in the house. Also to hang out with the dinosaurs for a day and somehow not get eaten…
Re. Hitler, some internet geek humor (not that I find wanting to stop him humorous, I’d totally do it too):
http://www.abyssandapex.com/200710-wikihistory.html
Blatant threadjack for a PSA: Any Harpies who are near a Pacific coast should start taking daily vitamins with potassium iodide and calcium. It is possible that radioactive isotopes of these elements will contaminate the Pacific to a degree if seawater is used to cool the Fukushima reactor (looks likely at this point). If that happens and you are iodine or calcium deficient, you are at greater risk for intake of radioactive isotopes (not to the extent of causing radiation poisoning, maybe to the extent of increasing your cancer risk). Daily vitamins (at normal daily doses, not elevated) are sufficient to prevent this.
Right now, if I had a time machine, I’d go back to the Industrial Revolution and try to make sure that an obsessive level of attention to safety standards was culturally valued from the beginning. ;_;
@baraqiel – thanks for the warning, I am worried about the Japanes tsunami and quake, especially the number of nuclear rectors that are on the Pacific side..
Back on message, I would like to see what some of my forebears got up to.. my paternal grandfather got christened by a particular historical figure and I wouldn’t mind watching what happened. My maternal grandfather is a hidden mystery, so I wouldn’t mind “spying” on him as he got around and did his thing.
Then going back in time to the middle ages, dark ages to see forebears (especially female forebears) so I can understand how they did things, and write a fictional novel about it. I think that a lot of history is missing because women’s experiences were not well documented or included.
There are some things I would like to change the course of history – Hitler, Pol Pot, Stalin, Pinochet (really any place that had an identifiable figure that ordered the mass killing of populations of people).. but I’m not sure how I could change that course..
@ShinyObjects – that was hilarious!
I’ve always wanted to go back to various points in the ancient world to see what might have existed that there isn’t a record of- Egyptian cities that were built from wood before they figured out how to move stones, or a form of writing that permeated south america that wasn’t on clay tablets. Oh, and I’d also check and see what happened to the Lost Colony of Roanoke, the Mary Celeste, whether or not Atlantis existed, and who really killed Lizzie Borden’s parents (and, of course, call the constabulary).
The baby-Hitler smothering would be in there as well, but I remember a Twilight Zone where a time traveler did just that, only to have the horrified nanny discover the body and replace it with a squalling gypsy baby the parents then decided to name ‘Adolph’.
@Satirius isn’t that the Oedipus plot line? (If you go down the tv tropes rabbit hole remember I had nothing to do with it!)
I drove right by the Red Fox restaurant on my way to work in Detroit the morning of the day Jimmy Hoffa had lunch there and was never seen again. I’d call in sick, wait in the lot, and follow them! Of course, theres the possibility I might have disappeared that day TOO..
@Rodriguez Yup, I think ‘You Already Changed the Past’ = ‘Prophecies are Always Right’