Cartoon via Sydney Morning Herald blog.
Last year, PhDork and I talked about the feminist implications of panties (and the wearing thereof). Today, it’s time for a feminist pow-wow about that other undergarment most of us wear…the bra.
One of the most enduring labels attached to feminists is “bra-burners.” According to legend, hordes of Second Wave feminists burned their thickly padded 1950s style bras as a protest of the constraints and hyperfeminity that the Patriarchy required. It didn’t actually happen; at the 1968 Miss America pageant where this allegedly occurred, women only threw them into trashcans (along with other dreadfully uncomfortable undergarments like girdles and pantyhose). But the image of women burning bras is irresistible to anti-feminists looking for proof that we’re all hysterical reactionaries. When people ask me if, as a feminist, I’ve burned my bras, I always say “No, but the only people who think bra-burning is ridiculous are people who’ve never worn one.”
I detest the feeling of elastic and underwire clasped around my ribcage all day. Years of wearing them has caused the skin just under my bust to darken and thicken—if you look closely, I actually have permanent light-brown stripe there. The first thing I do when I get home is take off my bra. So does fellow-bra-hater SarahMC. Sarah and I joke about how this habit leads to bras being tossed wherever—when company comes over, we have to make sure our runaway bras have all been corralled. Joins us as we talk about bras and what they mean for feminism and body image—with bonus pictures our bras in their natural habitat:
SarahMC: There are currently three bras lying on top of my dresser which is right in the middle of the living room. Bras everywhere except on my person.
BeckySharper: This morning, I had a dude come over to give me an estimate on replacing my windows. I was running around like crazy trying to locate and remove bras so he wouldn’t stumble on one by mistake!
Do you remember when you got your first bra? I was so into the idea of getting one, because it was this symbol of womanhood. My older sister was a C cup in junior high, so I was super-anxious to catch up (which, over 20 years later, has still not happened). What I ultimately got were two little triangles with a bit of elastic. It was mostly for show, but it made me feel grown-up. Wearing a bra was one of those rites of passage that now I look back and go “Ugh, why was I so looking forward to that?” (See also: menstruation.)
SarahMC: I don’t remember my first bra. I do remember my grandmother pointing at my breasts and giggling—and maybe pinching me?—when I began developing. That made me feel ashamed.
BeckySharper: That reminds me of the scene in Sixteen Candles where Sam’s grandma embarrasses her by saying to her grandpa “Oh Fred, she’s getting her boobies! And their so perky!” Ugh. Welcome to the world of your boobs as public property! Folks, won’t you comment on my boobs?
SarahMC: I never ever wear a bra if I’m just hanging around the house, just walking the dog, or going somewhere in the wintertime where I will be wearing a couple layers. I wear a bra to work because I don’t like the feeling of most fabrics besides cotton rubbing against my nipples. But the second I walk in the door to my apartment the bra comes off.
BeckySharper: Me too. With the exception of sports bras, I only wear them to keep my nipples from poking through my clothes. And I never, ever wear one at home or if I’m out and about in layers.
SarahMC: I feel lucky that I don’t “need” to wear a bra for comfort, as I know a lot of women do.
BeckySharper: True.
SarahMC: The thing I don’t like about my breasts–or the way they look/feel without a bra–is the sort of triangle shape they make. They aren’t pert and rounded like they are when they’re sitting in bra cups (which is true for most women, of course). I do feel self-conscious about that. The other day it got above 65 degrees for the first time in a long time so I wore a thin long-sleeved t-shirt to walk the dogs around the neighborhood. No bra, of course. And I was aware of the jiggling little triangles under my shirt for the first time. But I’m not willing to sacrifice comfort to avoid whatever stares might come my way.
BeckySharper: Yeah, not wearing a bra gets you stares because it’s seen as provocative or unfeminine. The Patriarchy wants you women to keep all your bits covered up. Except when you should display them for its enjoyment!
For those of us whose breasts are not perfect as defined by the Patriarchy—big, round, gravity-defying stripper tits—bras exist to “fix” that. Yours are triangular and jiggly, so you’re supposed to wear bras that make them look round and gravity-defying. Mine are small and kind of hard and wide-set, so the bras I’m supposed to wear are the ones that make them look bigger and softer by smushing them upwards with lots of padding. No matter how your breasts look naturally, there’s a bra out there for every one of us that’s supposed to make our breasts look closer to the ideal.
And if you don’t wear one, your breasts hang and sway and bounce and that’s perceived as slovenly or loose.
SarahMC: There is a cultural disgust about jiggling female flesh (unless the jiggling tits are supported by a bra and attached to a woman with an otherwise “good” figure.)
BeckySharper: That’s true about the jiggle. Boobs aren’t supposed to jiggle anymore. I wonder if I can blame porn for that? Porn stars all have those pneumatically inflated, gravity-defying boobs and it seems like those are now the idealized norm. If you look at porn stars or nude models in the 70s and 80s, they mostly had jiggly natural boobs in different shapes and sizes.
SarahMC: I think we can blame porn for a lot of things, Becky.
BeckySharper: True. Okay, I’m going to blame the current vogue for giant bubble-tits on porn, and therefore the current mania for padded lift-and-separate bras that are supposed to give us that look. In the meantime, as I write this, I’m free-boobing it on the couch in a t-shirt.
Do you fellow bra-burners have love-hate relationship with your bra? Or a hate-hate relationship? Tell us in the comments!
SarahMCs bras hang out with her Microeconomics textbook.
Becky's bras get picked up off the floor...eventually.
As a 38DDD I can’t get away with going braless outside my house unless I’m wearing a winter jacket over a sweater. I only wear them at home though if I’m doing some sort of activity where they require some support.
My biggest issue is with the clothing and bra combination. I can’t tell you how many shirts and dresses I haven’t purchased because there was no way I was going to be able to wear it with a bra and not have the bra show. Note to bra designers – would making a slightly less than full coverage bra that cost less than $75 (and up!) kill you?
If I could find a bra that fit, I wouldn’t have any problems with wearing a bra. I feel better wearing one. I find the bouncing uncomfortable. Not for how other people would perceive me, but the physical sensation of having weight on my body shifting in that way. If I’m going up stairs without a bra, I tend to hold on to them. My breasts aren’t very large, but I rarely go without a bra. I was surprised to see pretty much unanimous dislike for them. I thought most people would, but I don’t know it would be such a majority! I even wear a bra when I sleep…
@Kate – yeah – I have to budget in bra-buying, because I wear mine almost all the time too. I’m torn: buy cheap and feel uncomfortable all the time OR buy expensive and short my food money $20 a week until I have enough? Neither feel great.
@BeckySharper – you point out that porn stars had natural boobs in the 60′s and 70′s (and if you look closely, a lot still did in the 80′s). Porn can spread a body-fashion the way Facebook can spread a revolution – without causing it in the first place.
And now, porn is whatever you want it to be. All-natural, hairy, shaved, or plastic bubble tits of doom – it’s getting harder and harder to blame body-fashion on porn.
Personally, I like blaming it all on the ad industry. They’re my enemy of choice.
@Dena: I think the ad industry bears some of the blame but with regards to porn—the type of porn that is mass-produced and mass-consumed (mostly by studios), is most definitely not in favor of the all-natural or hairy look. This has been the norm since porn became widely available in the late 90s.
If you like hairy/all-natural, you can search for it and find it—there’s porn for every taste—but women with unshaven pubes or small breasts is actually categorized separately or as “fetish” on the most highly-trafficked free porn sites (youporn, redtube, megaporn, etc), because it’s so outside the norm for mainstream porn.
Besides video porn, just about every mainstream men’s wank mag shows only the surgically augmented, bald crotch models. Again, if you want hairy or small-breasted or large natural breasts, you’d have to buy a genre or fetish magazine, because those body types are generally not represented in the mainstream mags anymore.
This is one of the deepest divides between me and my mother. She is forever a 1950′s anti-sexual revolution kind of person. She spent a big part of my teen years making me feel downright bad about not wearing a bra, and talking disparagingly about breasts that hang low. I was a teen with teen breasts so I had no idea what she was talking about.
Even though I understand this better now, I still can’t be without a bra.
I like my bras, but I do resent the fact that it’s socially unacceptable for me to go braless. I have a large cup-size and am very asymmetrical – braless, one breast sits an inch below the other. Because of their size and my physical impairments, it is usually more comfortable wearing a bra than not, but I feel it is *so* noticeable if I’m not wearing one that I simply don’t have the courage to.
When I first needed bras in the early 90s, I was fitted in a shop where the cup sizes only went up to a D, so they gave me a larger back size in order to sell me something. And of course, they weren’t supportive, they rode up etc. – I’m sure I stretched the ligaments in my chest doing sport at school. And when I did find my right size, the only bras available were very industrial looking devices, usually minimisers, which made me feel like my breasts were a medical mutation I had to reign in and disguise.
But in the last ten years or so, they’ve started producing a great range of really pretty and stylish bras for bigger breasts. I go to a lot of trouble to choose bras, and they’re quite expensive, so I’m very attached to the ones I have.
When my bra size has adjusted, with hormonal and weight changes, I make sure I send my unwanted bras to charities which provide bras for women in poverty elsewhere. Because at this size, I wouldn’t be without them.
I don’t find bouncing comfortable either, for the same reason as Danika. And I have to admit, I’ve never found bras uncomfortable – I also used to sleep in mine, before I started wearing expensive ones that need to be hand-washed, and decided to save on washing so often by only wearing them during the day.
I remember getting my first bra, and unfortunately, it was associated with shame for me. I was brought up as if it were still the 1950s in many ways and did not know to think of it as a rite-of-passage. Instead I felt ashamed of my changing body. I hope that if I ever have kids I can be a lot more natural about all those things than my mother was with me. (I think me growing up freaked her out, which cannot have helped).
About a year ago I was like, FUCK BRAS and stopped wearing them (this was right around when I stopped shaving my legs and armpits, too), except when I needed to (i.e. was with my parents). And I started wearing camisoles instead–these are especially good if you live in New England because they keep you warmer. But then a couple months ago I went for a walk in just a tee-shirt (no bra, no camisole), and holy hell were my nippples chaffed at the end. And I was like, Ok, bras, we can be friends again.
Now I wear tight cotton/lycra tanktops under my clothes–they keep the chaffing to a minimum–and sometimes bras. Bras are helpful if you are prone to under-boob sweat, which may be one of the most disgusting feelings in the world.
I’m becoming more and more fascinated with my breasts. I’m 27 and have noticed that I have lady-breasts now. No more kid boobs. It makes me think of that Ani DiFranco line,
“Thirty-three years go by
And you loosen the momentum of teenage nightmares
Your breasts hang like a woman’s
And you don’t jump at shadows anymore”
My breasts hang like a woman’s. It’s sometime sad, like when I get sad in general about time passing. But usually it’s just interesting and cool, like a bodily litmus test of my age. I’m sure my boobs will hang more and more as I get older, and I’ll have real saggy boobs before any of my friends because I don’t wear bras. But I’m ok with that. Saggy boobs aren’t ugly or weird. They’re like wrinkles and grey hair–they’re just physical reminders of time.
I love my bras, although I am incredibly particular about them. I hate underwiring and (especially foamy) cups that are of a different material/texture to the rest of the bra and I also generally find that the more expensive the bra, the less comfortable it is (having said that, I should also note that, at a B cup, I do have smallish breasts). And although for everyday I’ll usually go for simple white/black/beige cotton bras, I must admit one of my not-actually-so-guilty-at-all pleasures is buying fancy bras for – eh-hem – special occasions (though anything lacy or silky and all but the smallest of bows and flowers are out and comfort is still paramount). I have to say though, I never really thought of bras as having any other purpose than my own personal comfort and delight. But surely that should be the feminist response to bras? Wear them if you want, don’t wear them if you don’t want and make sure your choice is your own and you own it.
I’m with @The Goldfish, I like my bras but I resent society’s disgust if someone chooses to go braless. For one of my friends, who is extremely blessed in ze bosoms area, going braless just isn’t an option for her, she literally needs the support. I know another one of my friends who wears one constantly, even to sleep because she feels uncomfortable while not wearing one. As for me, I pick the super soft comfy ones, rarely with underwire, and I’m golden.
Though frankly some days, I’m just too damn lazy to strap them in, so I usually wear a dark extra large shirt or sweater and it’s fine, cuz I’m small enough so it’s not really noticeable.
Love/hate relationship with the entire chest are here.
My current size is *checks* a rather saggy European 80GG. I went up from a somethingFF over last summer for some unknown reason, and because it’s just SO HARD to get even remotely comfortable bras as this size, I have exactly one set that fits. And it leaves painful indentations at the end of a long day.
But if I don’t wear a bra, my breasts are all over the place. Ever hear people joke about video game women knocking themselves in the face with their boobs? I’ve knocked myself on the chin. Though I am not even near as thin or balloony-boobed as any video game woman I’ve ever seen. Mine are heavy, and they hang. This also produced the afore-mentioned underboob-sweat. Eugh, so nasty.
I’d love to not wear bras on a more regular basis, and sometimes pull it off (pun intended) when I have nowhere to go, it often just makes the chest area more sore than if I wouldn’t wear one.
As for societal boob-norms, not gonna fit in (har har) unless I get a reduction. Some people really lie when they say they like big breasts, what they mean is that they like perky/balloony breasts.
I have a fraught relationship with bras. I’m not large-breasted, and as a 26 year old B-cup, can go bra-free comfortably, though I find the jiggling uncomfortable sometimes. Summer is my bra-less season, and I’m so happy it’s almost here. My summer uniform is sundresses, often worn without a bra, or with only a stretchy semi-bra sort of half-tank thing. Otherwise, the bra is the first thing that comes off when I get home. Hubs and I might have a dude moving in with us for a while, and I’m worried it’s going to cramp my no-bras-in-the-house style.
I have a swimmer’s build, which means broad shoulders and a large ribcage. I’ve been a 38-40 even at my very skinniest, because it’s all bone. So it’s really hard to find a bra that fits around but doesn’t leave the c-cups swimming. And underwire is an engine of Satan. Wash a bra once the wrong way, and they twist/poke out. And yeah, boob ridges aren’t fun.
And these days, even c-cups are padded. Because of my freakishly large ribcage, finding tops that fit is already a challenge. Add 1/4 to 1/2 inch padding and blouse gape is inevitable.
I can’t go braless in public. The bouncing is just uncomfortable- painful, even, since my campus is all hills and stairs. I wear a 34D, so substantial enough that they are noticeable in any clothing, but not so much that people think of me as someone who CANNOT EVER go braless. My friends are surprised by my 100% need for bras.
I basically hunt down sales on high end bras. Cheap ones don’t do it for me. They’re uncomfortable, sometimes do so little that I have the same issues of pain that I would braless, and they don’t provide enough support. Ugh.
Sometimes I go braless around the house. Usually because I haven’t gotten dressed- I sleep braless, at least. But as soon as I’m really moving, I need a bra.
I find most bras uncomfortable, too, and I almost always have one or two sitting on the couch, which is where they tend to land when I get home. However, I find the bouncing uncomfortable, too. I sincerely believe it would be a major help if they would improve the sizing system. First, sizes should actually represent some physical measurement, instead of being an arbitrary number set by the manufacturer. Second, there should be way more than two dimensions of variability. I’d like to see a number for cup spacing, a separate number for cup size, a separate number for band length, and a separate number for degree of pointiness, at least. In particular, I think a lot of my discomfort comes not from the band, but rather from the fact that bras always seem to want to squish my pointy tits into nice perfect hemispheres.
I always liked the feeling of bras – especially sports bras. I must be an outlier, but the tightness of them is nice – its like a hug to me. A friend suggested trying corsets for the same effect – now I just gotta get the money.
My biggest grip with bras is not wearing one – like I said, I like the feeling of not being so, ahem, exposed. What I hate is the insistence that bras be lace, mesh, or other materials that my sensitive boob skin does not agree with. Cotton bras are the best. No padding or nothing. The only ones I’ve ever found that really felt good were (god forgive me) american apparel’s interlock cotton bras. Unpadded cotton goodness. Just enough for modesty’s sake.
Bras? Wut? I could go on all day…
In the early 90s I went braless for a long time. I was encouraged by my lesbian co-worker who did the same (I don’t think she EVER submitted to bras!) I also don’t think she was called into the principal’s office about it the way I was. (It was a troublesome job situation, I got called in a lot.) I was told parents and children “commented” on my bralessness. My response was, “So fuckin what?” I was union! You can’t MAKE ME wear a bra.
I dunno if there are any benefits to wearing bras, as far as I can tell, breasts will sag whether or not you hoist them up during the day. If it’s any consolation, and it probably isn’t, dicks & balls and men’s other parts get all saggy baggy, too.
I have a stretchy thing, like half a tank top or camisole with elastic under the breasts that offers no support that I call “my nod to a bra” that I wear for going out to walk a dog or for my acupuncture appointment. It is less uncomfortable than real bras. I dislike the underwire very much and look for bras that give actual support and are not just about nipple obfuscation. I am on a mission for supportive, non-underwire bras, cause I wear bras for support & pain relief, not to obscure my nipples (the #1 priority of 99% of crap ass bras, it’s a fact.)
Far-flung bras story:
My landlord, a nice old European man, who is always so kind, helpful and polite, and I made an appointment for him to come to my house Thursday morning with a work man to install double paned windows and screens. I come home from work midday on TUESDAY and guess what? Mr Landlord is in my apartment with some other guy with orange power cords stretched far and wide. Let me describe the scene: total workman chaos in an already messy apartment (I was gonna tidy on WEDNESDAY for his arrival on THURSDAY!) My bed is by the back door, and my vibrator is plugged in, lying on the floor where one walks past the bed, along with smutty reading material. Other assorted cast off clothes here & there on the way to the living room. At least 2 different bras were in the living room, one on the couch, one on the coffee table next to…a sack of weed! And papers and a pipe! Really, EVERYTHING you want strange men to see all in one visit! Super!
“Oh, George, I thought you were coming over on THURSDAY!”
Wah wah wah.
I keep being surprised by other women talking about how much they hate their bras! I love bras. At least, I love them when they fit right. I don’t sleep in them or anything, but I definitely don’t do anything that involves a lot of movement without a bra on. If I have to go up and down the steps in my house without a bra on (that would be when I’m dressed for bed) I hold them up with one arm.
I’m a 34DD–big but not huge–and the weight of the boobs is a big part of wearing a bra. They bounce and it’s uncomfortable. But the other big part is nipples. I must have sensitive nipples. If my boobs are allowed to move around and rub against whatever shirt I’m wearing, that’s very uncomfortable. Not all my bras are the best fabric, either, but at least the nipples hold still inside them.
I’m also surprised by the dislike of underwire. I’ve never found a bra supportive and comfortable enough for me that doesn’t have underwire–at least not since B-cups, way back in middle school.
Like Jetgirl I’ve always had a big ribcage. So the band would fit and the cups would sag on my small breasts. A 40A is not exactly a common size. Most bras end up being uncomfortable because they don’t really make my size, even when I avoid all underwire.
5 yrs ago I finally said screw it and now wear some cheapo sports bra type thing. For me, it is mainly to rein in my mega-protruding nipples. I could go braless except for the two big tents that form in my shirt when I don’t. Sometimes I even have to put nipple concealers inside the sports bra to rein them in. They still show through all that sometimes too. Sigh.
I’d have to say that I’m farily indifferent to bras for the most part. Sometimes I resent the fact that I have to wear one.
When I was younger they were sub A-cup for the longest time so through high school and college I didn’t wear one. In college, however, I got nasty comments from women in one of the dorms about it. As far as I could tell they were only objecting to the fact that they couldn’t see bra lines under my shirt as I walked by since I wasn’t all that well endowed.
I wore bras to job interviews and work as I got older just so people could tell I was wearing a bra. My breasts started to get a little bigger as I got older for some reason. They’re still on the small side but now I wear a bra pretty much everyday. If I felt that I wouldn’t get nasty comments over it, I wouldn’t wear one though.
Ha, I ranted about this over at Pandagon too. I’m somewhere between an A and a B, so my options are (in order of comfort):
1) Braless. Definitely my usual state of existence inside the house, and I’d totally do it all the time if people didn’t make nasty comments that equate my choice of underwear with my professional competence.
2) Shelf-cami/sports bra. Thankfully it doesn’t take much to strap the ladies in for strenuous activity. I’d wear these all the time, but the workplace cracks are almost as bad as the braless ones!
3) Push-up underwire B-cup. Seriously, this is the only kind of “real” bra that stays on and provides any kind of support; everything else is just a sack (foam or otherwise) for my breasts to flop around in.
Honestly, it feels like I just can’t win. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in that feeling, at least!
Ahhh, bras, I have mixed feelings about you. I’m a 34E cup (UK) and can go without a bra for slobbing around the house/sleeping but feel way too self-conscious to go without one in public. I think I got my first bra quite a bit before the other girls in my class as I remember being teased about it by the boys.
I like wires for the support but dislike the way they dig in. My bras either dig in between my breasts or stab me in the armpits. Both options are painful.
Due to my size I also have to spend a significant amount (<£25) on bras as most lines stop at a D cup or a DD and I really resent that. Also a lot of the bras that are made in my size are so not to my taste. I'm a goth and black, pinstripes, polka-dots etc are the way to my heart. I do love buying sexy underwear and recently bought my first matching bra/knickers set in a stunning turquiose green silk and black net. It looks bloody amazing with an underbust corset and suspenders, if I do say so myself.
An interesting question is why is nipple show such an issue? Is it because (OMG) it might make teh menz remember that a breast's primary function is to make milk for babies (not to discount them as a major erogenous zone)?
Oh and I second Dena in blaming it on the Ad industry.
I feel like I have to wear bras all the time, I’m a 38H and am so full of ambivalence and angst about my boobs it is remarkable unfunny.
But for all of that, my biggest problem with bras is that they just aren’t getting better. It’s the 21st century! A person can buy a car that parallel parks itself! For god’s sake, can someone please apply some of that technological advancement to the garment approx 1/2 the population has to wear for the majority of the day?
I had a mastectomy a number of years ago, and now I wear a breast prosthesis, which is a vaguely breast-shaped piece of silicon with a tasteful, slightly protruding nipple.
It’s also sort of a pink color, and I devoutly hope that they have other choices for non-white (or non-pink) women. Here are my gripes: you can’t buy a prosthesis without a prescription. Why? No one goes around randomly buying these things, and insurance will only pay for a new one every few years anyhow.
The bras themselves tend to be pretty utilitarian, so I buy regular ones and have a pocket sewn in, which adds about $15 to the price. Regular lingerie stores don’t do that so I have to take them to a seamstress.
Once, soon after my surgery, I had to go grocery shopping. It was a hot summer day and I was just wearing a fairly form-fitting t shirt. I did the shopping, and when I got home, I realized that I’d forgotten to put the prosthesis in. That explained all the funny looks. *grin*
I had a lazy day this weekend where I slummed around the house and watched a couple movies and did not put on a bra.
And my boobs kept getting in my way; squished under my arm, stepped on by a cat (OUCH). I was weirdly aware of them in a way I’m usually not. I put on a bra (underwire, 34D) and I can generally forget that I have bazooms–even if other people can’t. Set ‘em and forget ‘em.
I don’t know if this is only a function of what I’m used to, since I expect I’d get used to them moving around as moved around, but it was very distracting. Also, even though we’ve been together for EVA, the Dude is still like “OMGBEWBZ” if he sees me take off a bra.
@MM: You need a prescription? Are prosthetic boobs a controlled substance? Does your doctor just write: “C cup breast w/nipple (1)” on a prescription pad? I’m assuming you can’t just take it to your local Walgreens so…who do you give the prescription to when you need to get your falsie? And I really don’t get why it’s prescription-only…I mean, what if I was a trans-man who wanted to buy one? Would I have to go to the doctor? What if I just wanted one to play dress-up with?
So many questions.
I am a 38G and bra’s are integral to my lifestyle. Not only do they improve the fit of my clothes they also reduce general comfort and allow me to move around without holding them in place. I do however completely strip down as soon as I get home and I appreciate that if I need both hands for something and I have my cell or remote I can just tuck it under a breast and it will stay there until I remove it -_^
I meant reduce general discomfort! Though after 12+ hours in one they can produce some discomfort of their own.
Only recently have I been able to find bras that fit fairly well and are actually cute/sexy in size 30-32A. Until then, the bras I could find — seldom smaller than a 34 band size and B cup, unless I wanted handfuls of foam padding in there — bras were a bit of a reminder that my breasts are much smaller than society considers ideal. This is a far cry from the difficulties of my fuller-chested sisters (and my asymmetrical sisters, and my sisters who have had mastectomies, etc.) especially since I can reasonably go without a bra if I choose. But I have to say, being able to finally find sexy, non-padded bras in my size, that were actually made for my-sized breasts but without trying to make them appear much larger — this truly made me feel much happier about my breasts and my body in general. I wish everyone (who wants to wear bras, for whatever reason) could find bra happiness like I have, because it changed my outlook, for reals.
Having said that, the bra is the first thing to come off as soon as I’m in the door, and it stays off all weekend unless I have a very good reason to strap one on.
@Rhiannon: LOL! That’s a real advantage of big bosoms! Whenever I see movies or TV shows where the woman tucks something (money, keys, a joint) into her cleavage, I always envy her. My breasts are so small and set so far apart that if I were to try to tuck something between them, it would promptly fall straight down into my waistband.
I’m the same as PHDork…without a bra these days, I am so so aware of my breasts and I’m only a 34D (UK) so not exactly enormous. They just seem to be a wriggly as dying fish because without something propping them up, they get everywhere.
I used to be a 32AAA and tended to wear bikini tops rather than bras, partly because the only place I could get a properly fitting bra was a kids’ store and partly because even when my boobs were tiny, I liked having them coralled. That and the fact all my tops tended to be very slouchy without much more nipples to hold them up and I was always in danger of revealing my entire breast at once to people if I moved too quickly.
Part of me misses the braless days and part of me loves the comfort of an underwire keeping them from catching on my ribs all the time. I just wish the left side wouldn’t pop its underwire every three months…
I’m a dead-average 34C, but I feel uncomfortable without a bra. I think it’s about control for me (without a bra, they just move around! All on their own!), and also that I’m not big on the feeling of skin-touching-other-skin (I always wear bike shorts under skirts, don’t like sleeping naked, etc.). Okay, now I sound a little obsessive…
@Becky – not always a good thing. I once spent 15-20 minutes searching for an eyeliner pencil that I had dropped into my cleavage.
@Becky: I know, right? How silly is this? And these things aren’t cheap, either-I’m expecting the price tag to be around $300 this time, although that should be mostly covered by insurance. I hope.
The scrip says “left breast prosthesis” and gives the diagnosis that allows the insurance coverage. I would think that a trans man would be able to get the same kind of coverage as part of the transition surgery (surgeries?), but I’ll ask when I go in for my new one.
These count as medical devices, like a crutch, I guess, but it’s so crazy. You have to go to a medical devices store, or a specialty store that sells products for women recovering from breast cancer. The place I used to go to sold lingerie and swimsuits as well, but not wigs, which would make sense, you’d think. That place closed a while back, so this time I think I’ll end up in a store that also sells potty chairs and trusses. Should be a fun trip.
Other than sleeping, I almost always wear a bra… I tend toward the busty side and find that even just normal around the house moving gets uncomfortable really quickly.
My biggest issue is finding bras that fit and are not hideous. I usually buy a 34DD or 36DD because it is what is commonly available. Unfortunately the 36 is too big in the band and the 34 doesn’t have sufficient cup volume… ah well…
And I’ve never lost any cosmetics in my cleavage, but I frequently lose popcorn and other small snacks!
I have always enjoyed going braless, and still do, whether it be for work, football training, lounging around, hanging out with friends, going out etc. My breats haven’t really changed shape or size since they set in.
I did used to feel shame towards them, they didn’t fit into some sort of idealised size or shape. But then I got over it. It came down to seeing different women with different sizes and shapes – and I realised that it was ok.
Rhiannon – I used to do that all the time when I worked in retail since we couldn’t carry bags or anything with us on the floor.
My relationship with bras is the same as Kate’s. They’re uncomfortable and very expensive in my not-so-common large size. And as soon as I get home from anywhere, the bra instantly comes off. I have some all over the house. Thankfully my cat accepts this and just walks around them.
I would totally go braless if I felt like I could. I hate bras. What stops me is that my boobs are two different sizes and that they are big enough that you notice that I’m not wearing a bra if I don’t. This is not to say that there is anything WRONG with my boobs, but I wear a bra for the same reason I shave my legs- to fit into a “socially acceptable” bracket that I feel invisible pressure from all around me to fit into.
I wear a 36A, although even that always seems to leave a little too much room in the cups. My major problem with bras is that I tend to keep them too long, so that the straps stretch and get loose, leading to me having to sneak an index finger under my collar to adjust at regular intervals.
Oh, and I definitely laughed about letting bras fall where they may – that’s my natural state as well. Unfortunately, my cat of a year or so seems to regard bras as highly choice prey. The first few weeks I had her, I would come home from work to find that she’d pried open the (slightly warped) underwear drawer of the dresser and strewn several bras around the floor. So, bras now live either in the very back of the drawer (with the opening stuffed with an old pair of jeans), or hung from the open bedroom door (like today’s bra).
As a woman with a 42G and breasts that just scream “two kids later” in terms of where they hang, my bra is to me what a binky is to a small child.
Haaa, so many funny stories. The bra as a garment is pretty politically loaded.
I got tired of my bras attacking me, sliding up and down and in my lady’s chamber, so I did some Research™, measured myself, had the SO measure me as well, and did a marathon try-on session at the local department store. (Currently, I can’t afford lingerie-store prices.) I’m a boring 36C/D. I go braless on the weekend and around town occasionally, although I don’t enjoy running or biking sans support. I don’t care about nipples; ditching the foam boob bras was one of the best decisions I’ve made.
Conversely, I usually sleep in a t-shirt since I don’t like the friction. It makes me have wonky dreams and causes the SO to sleep-grope me (I have lots of stories.)
As a roughly A cup just about all of my experiences buying bras involved trying many bras on and, again and again, feeling *way* too small. And also completely confounded by the alleged sizing system. I seemed to be different sizes and in more or less ‘need’ of padding depending on the brand.
I started going braless oh, over a year ago, because it was such a pain and I put off replacing bras, and because I rather resented the social pressure and being made to feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I’m not sure how long it took, but I am almost completely unaware, while out and about, that I am going braless. It was an intensely uncomfortable experience at first though, and I expected all kinds of backlash, but none (that I noticed..) ever seemed to materialize.
@baraquiel
You think an eyeliner pencil is bad?* Sometimes my snake decides that Mom’s bosom is a good place to hide from the world. Stripping is necessary to remove her. Sometimes I have company over too!
*Snark, naturally.
@Nepenthe: LMAO, I’ve seen that happen to a snake owner. And the snake was so peeved at the time that she pooped on her mom too! I couldn’t stop laughing (as I helped the snake mom untangle her reptilian child from her bra and blot up green poo).
And of course I forgot to mention, I’m in a weird spot gender-wise and would love to dress more androgynously. With these things sticking out on my chest, no matter what I wear, no one is going to doubt my female-ness (even though I don’t actually identify 100% as female, incredibly frustrating).
And crosdressing? The best way I’ve found to reduce the chestage is through special flattening corsets. Anything lighter just breaks through sheer force of volume. I’ve only ever found one corset that did that, and it was a prototype that never made it to proper production. But that is a different story. /sad
@Kari: WHERE did you find these bras!? I think I need to know!
I love all the hilarious wordplay happening in this post/thread. “Make sure our runaway bras have all been corralled”? “Set ‘em and forget ‘em”? bahahaha.
@Becky
Yeah I can hold a glass between them and drink out of it (with a straw) or use them as a table for my bowl when I want to eat and read on the couch.
@Becky Oh and in the interest of continuing my multiple comments at once theme (not really just thought of some else to mention) have you tried tucking things in your bra behind the strap? It works much better and I have seen smaller bosomed ladies do it successfully ^_^
@Rhiannon: If it’s something like money or a key, I tuck it securely in the cup next to my boob. There’s usually room there!