Last night, I returned home last from an all-day conference — also, soaking wet because the wind ruined my umbrella and popping cough drops because I’m pretty sure I’m getting a sore throat, no thanks to being rained on — to learn the scandalous news that Prince William will not wear a wedding band after he is married. Apparently this news was preposterous enough to overtake many of my Google Reader feeds.
According to ABC News:
Ringless royal patriarchs are not uncommon. “It’s been the same in other royal weddings,” a source told US Weekly.
William’s grandfather, Prince Phillip, does not wear a wedding ring. Neither did Prince Charles when he married Princess Diana.
I mean, who cares that he is choosing not to wear a ring? Does that really change anything? Is the ring supposed to symbolize that he “belongs” to her or vice versa? I doubt Prince Charles or Prince Phillip faced the same scrutiny. Then again, they didn’t get married in an era of tabloid magazines chronicling their every move.
One of the most frustrating things about getting married is that every single thing you do is criticized. You want hydrangeas? You’re criticized by those who prefer roses. You’re having a buffet? You’re critized by those who prefer sit-down dinners. You’re not having any bridesmaids? You’re critized by those who had twelve. I have been trying to avoid Royal Wedding hoopla simply because I knew that every decision they made would be bemoaned in the American media.
My mom doesn’t wear her ring. The ring no longer fits her fingers and she’s never bothered to get it resized. Also, some of my family members in less glamorous occupations don’t wear rings because it’s simply not practical. Sometimes I don’t even like wearing mine when handling large or heavy archives because I know I will go home with dusty clothes, a dusty ring, and chipped nails.
The Welsh ring described in the article 1. sounds beautiful 2. clearly has a lot of family history and 3. will most likely look flawless on Kate. Also, it’s their decision and everyone should just leave it as that.
Actually, the tradition of a man wearing a ring is a fairly modern one, so it doesn’t surprise me that the Windsor men are old-school.
Historically, women wore rings to signify they “belonged” to their husband so other men would know that they were not available. It’s only fairly recently that Christian ceremonies have become double-ring ceremonies. In traditional Orthodox Jewish ceremonies, women do not give rings to men, nor to they speak—they signify their acceptance of the marriage by accepting the ring.
So yeah, I agree…do whatever the hell you want because either way, it will generate criticism because it’s going against someone’s idea of tradition. My mother’s husband does not wear a ring and it never once occurred to me to doubt his deep love and loyalty, because he shows it through his actions every day, not through his jewelry.
And if Prince Charles had worn a ring, would that have kept him from stepping out on Diana?
Or vice versa, come to think of it?
I wear my ring when I leave the house (unless I forget) but rarely at home. I’m either cooking or exercising or cleaning cat boxes or something that is better done without. Mr MM wears his all the time. FWIW.
The salient point with rings is that it’s an option for men but not for women. So if a man expects his partner to wear one but doesn’t want to do so himself, it would be interesting to find out why. Still, it’s ultimately no one’s business but the 2 people getting married. And really, if you’re so offended by the couple’s taste, stay home already.
In this very specific case, I have to question whether anyone could possibly not be aware of the fact of their marriage. The ring is unnecessary – the media has already taken over the function of one.
My father recently lost his wedding ring for about six months. My mother bought him a new one for their anniversary … and then the old one turned up in the freezer under a bag of peas. We’re still not sure how that happened! Luckily, the wedding ring 2.0 could be returned
.
I’m an incessant fiddler with anything on my person, and I hate having stuff on my hands while I’m cooking, etc. Because of that, I’m doubtful a wedding band will ever work for me — even if Hanna and I do decide to hold a formal wedding. We’re thinking maybe complimentary tattoos …
My parents don’t wear wedding rings. I think they did at one time but my dad lost his in the ocean when I was younger and I actually have no memory of either of them wearing them.
@The Nerd: True dat.
Actually, the tradition of a man wearing a ring is a fairly modern one, so it doesn’t surprise me that the Windsor men are old-school.
Perhaps surprisingly, it’s quite common for men in the Royal Family to wear one. But he’s second in line for the English throne, so the media grabs up everything he says and does to be a statement, and can’t face the idea that all he might be stating no more than “I don’t like wearing jewellery, so I decided not to.” Which – as you may be able to guess from my turn of phrase – is my way of agreeing who the hell cares, let them arrange it how they want.
But for all the column inches that try to make great significance out of whether Prince William wears a ring, it’s nothing compared to the shitstorm Kate Middleton would have faced if she hadn’t. The British press piles endless judgment on her over whether she’s behaving in the exactly right way to be a potential future queen (they tend to say she’s getting it exactly right, which is something I suppose, but it’s still endless judgment).
My husband lost his wedding ring after we had been married about four years, and I lost mine soon after. We’ve talked about getting each other rings for an anniversary, and then as our 20th approached, we both decided that we what we really wanted was the originals back and that wasn’t possible, so we still go without.
Also, about the same time we lost the rings, we both permanently damaged the nail beds of our ring fingers, so our nails grow out with a crack down the middle. (We were both working with our hands a lot.) We joke that we’ve spoiled each other for anyone else.
I think it all depends on how the couple feels about wearing rings, and what sort of jobs the do.
My parents are dairy farmers, and never wore their rings for practical reasons.
It is important to my husband and I to wear our rings… we can look at them throughout the day as a little reminder of the other person (since we chose them for each other). They are also a reminder during the daily grind of the fact that we are going through the daily grind together.
After having kids, I had to get a different wedding band, one that resists all the dirt and mess that comes with children. So to me my new ring is also a milestone reminder.
As you can tell, I’m pretty attached to things with personal symbolism!
My husband and I don’t wear rings. We both really hate how they feel. Plus, there are a million other things I’d rather spend money on than jewelry, so it felt stupid to spend even a couple hundred bucks on a plain wedding set just for the sake of doing what we’re “supposed” to do.
mischiefmanager – I don’t wear mine at home either. Whether I’m cooking, cleaning, or exercising, it just gets to be a hassle. When I actually used to go to the gym on a regular basis, I was always amazed to see women doing pilates and yoga with their ring(s) on.
The Nerd – So true.
SunlessNick – Yeah, I feel bad for Kate because every single thing she does will be criticized. That and the constant Diana comparisons. She’s handling it a lot better than I would, for sure. Then again, I’m sure that’s one of the reasons why William wants to marry her.
Late to this but my husband has never worn a ring because he has big Irish peasant hands and a ring would look silly on them. I’ve never taken this to me that he is less committed to our marriage than I am oddly enough.
I completely agree that it should be a matter of personal choice.
The salient point with rings is that it’s an option for men but not for women
Really? And here I thought men and women could make their own choices. Anyway, my wife and I never had rings. Not much into symbols, I guess.
It’s just another personal choice.
I strongly disagree. There’s a historical memory loss going here, and I understand that, but historically, men didn’t wear rings and women did because only women were committed. This continues in the tradition of women changing their names to show commitment and men not. “Maude” had an entire episode about how she had to force her husband to wear a ring because she was a feminist and women wearing rings and men not doing so was un-feminist.
A man who refuses to wear a ring is tapping into a history of treating women like property. Should a man refuse to wear a ring, his wife should refuse also to wear one. His angry, entitled response will be clarifying.
Other situations that are helpful in applying this rule: anal sex, changing your name, naming the children. Demanding real equality in these situations can be unbelievably clarifying.
what does it mean when a woman wears “the band”(gold band)on her fourth finger and not her actual wedding ring?
@jamertoo: I think you’re confusing the two rings. The plain band IS the actual wedding ring. It’s the one given to her during the wedding ceremony.. Many women wear only that ring, and it’s worn on the fourth finger. The engagement ring (which usually has a gemstone) may also be worn, but always with the wedding band once the woman is married.