Comments on: On Not Wearing or Not Owning a Wedding Band

By: BeckySharper

BeckySharper — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 03:51:50 +0000

@jamertoo: I think you’re confusing the two rings. The plain band IS the actual wedding ring. It’s the one given to her during the wedding ceremony.. Many women wear only that ring, and it’s worn on the fourth finger. The engagement ring (which usually has a gemstone) may also be worn, but always with the wedding band once the woman is married.

By: jamertoo

jamertoo — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 02:23:07 +0000

what does it mean when a woman wears “the band”(gold band)on her fourth finger and not her actual wedding ring?

By: Amanda Marcotte

Amanda Marcotte — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 03:51:02 +0000

Other situations that are helpful in applying this rule: anal sex, changing your name, naming the children. Demanding real equality in these situations can be unbelievably clarifying.

By: Amanda Marcotte

Amanda Marcotte — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 03:49:30 +0000

I strongly disagree. There’s a historical memory loss going here, and I understand that, but historically, men didn’t wear rings and women did because only women were committed. This continues in the tradition of women changing their names to show commitment and men not. “Maude” had an entire episode about how she had to force her husband to wear a ring because she was a feminist and women wearing rings and men not doing so was un-feminist.

A man who refuses to wear a ring is tapping into a history of treating women like property. Should a man refuse to wear a ring, his wife should refuse also to wear one. His angry, entitled response will be clarifying.

By: Lars

Lars — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 21:30:09 +0000

The salient point with rings is that it’s an option for men but not for women

Really? And here I thought men and women could make their own choices. Anyway, my wife and I never had rings. Not much into symbols, I guess.

It’s just another personal choice.

By: emilyanne

emilyanne — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 19:13:55 +0000

Late to this but my husband has never worn a ring because he has big Irish peasant hands and a ring would look silly on them. I’ve never taken this to me that he is less committed to our marriage than I am oddly enough.

I completely agree that it should be a matter of personal choice.

By: foureleven

foureleven — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 00:21:49 +0000

mischiefmanager – I don’t wear mine at home either. Whether I’m cooking, cleaning, or exercising, it just gets to be a hassle. When I actually used to go to the gym on a regular basis, I was always amazed to see women doing pilates and yoga with their ring(s) on.

The Nerd – So true.

SunlessNick – Yeah, I feel bad for Kate because every single thing she does will be criticized. That and the constant Diana comparisons. She’s handling it a lot better than I would, for sure. Then again, I’m sure that’s one of the reasons why William wants to marry her.

By: Tall-in-Heels

Tall-in-Heels — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 23:36:13 +0000

My husband and I don’t wear rings. We both really hate how they feel. Plus, there are a million other things I’d rather spend money on than jewelry, so it felt stupid to spend even a couple hundred bucks on a plain wedding set just for the sake of doing what we’re “supposed” to do.

By: Ms. M

Ms. M — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 21:31:05 +0000

I think it all depends on how the couple feels about wearing rings, and what sort of jobs the do.

My parents are dairy farmers, and never wore their rings for practical reasons.

It is important to my husband and I to wear our rings… we can look at them throughout the day as a little reminder of the other person (since we chose them for each other). They are also a reminder during the daily grind of the fact that we are going through the daily grind together.

After having kids, I had to get a different wedding band, one that resists all the dirt and mess that comes with children. So to me my new ring is also a milestone reminder.

As you can tell, I’m pretty attached to things with personal symbolism!

By: clairedammit

clairedammit — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 21:22:55 +0000

My husband lost his wedding ring after we had been married about four years, and I lost mine soon after. We’ve talked about getting each other rings for an anniversary, and then as our 20th approached, we both decided that we what we really wanted was the originals back and that wasn’t possible, so we still go without.

Also, about the same time we lost the rings, we both permanently damaged the nail beds of our ring fingers, so our nails grow out with a crack down the middle. (We were both working with our hands a lot.) We joke that we’ve spoiled each other for anyone else.