Comments on: Miss Manners Gets It Right For Mother’s Day

By: BeckySharper

BeckySharper — Wed, 11 May 2011 01:59:43 +0000

Not to worry! Welcome!

By: stacy

stacy — Wed, 11 May 2011 01:54:09 +0000

jeez, that wasn’t even well spoken (written) I meant I’m new here, i’m used to pretty heavy vitriol. again, I’m sorry.

By: stacy

stacy — Wed, 11 May 2011 01:52:08 +0000

and I meant heated in real life, not here. So sorry!

By: BeckySharper

BeckySharper — Wed, 11 May 2011 01:52:01 +0000

@stacy: No problem. We’re generally not all that traditional around here when it comes to marriage stuff, so you’re in good company!

By: stacy

stacy — Wed, 11 May 2011 01:49:02 +0000

@BeckySharper
You’re totally right, though I was not in any way intending to pass judgement, just weigh in on a topic I’m interested in. You are so right in calling out my b.s.
My apologies.

By: stacy

stacy — Wed, 11 May 2011 01:45:17 +0000

ok, so I steeled myself and read the comments, I should have known there wouldn’t be crazy here. I love love love the stories of walking down the aisle together, or of grandparents or entire crews of loved ones, and especially of parents walking both bride and groom. That makes my tiny, cold heart swell with love! I love this community!

By: BeckySharper

BeckySharper — Wed, 11 May 2011 01:44:01 +0000

@stacy: I think if you’d read the comments you’d have found you weren’t so alone in that opinion, and that at no point did the comments get heated. Sometimes it’s better to actually hear what other people have to say instead of passing instant judgement about what you think they’re going to say.

By: stacy

stacy — Wed, 11 May 2011 01:32:44 +0000

man, I didn’t read all the comments since I tend to be alone in this opinion, and either way, they tend to be heated, but I didn’t like the idea of anyone giving me away, regardless of history (my parents have been married for forever and are awesome). My now husband and I talked at length about getting married and agreed on what we wanted, I made it clear it didn’t want some “surprise” proposal (or any fucking proposal. we decided to get married, like two adults that respect each other! ok, bias showing here!), though I get that a lot of women really want that regardless of how traditional or progressive their relationships (or really, views on the ceremony of marriage and all that entails, not really relationships I guess) are. (seriously, no judgement here!) We, together, decided to get married, and we had no wedding party, no “proposal”, just an intimate ceremony at our house with our closest friends and relatives. It was perfect for us. So as much as I don’t get all the “tradition” bullshit I perceive as a farce, I totally get that there are smart, strong women out there who want that. I’ll never understand why, but they’ll probably never understand why I didn’t want a fancy ring and proposal, or why I kept my own name, and all that jazz either. Props to choosing our own shit, at least we can choose!

By: BeckySharper

BeckySharper — Tue, 10 May 2011 16:24:55 +0000

@Cimorene: I think that’s a GREAT idea.

By: Cimorene

Cimorene — Tue, 10 May 2011 15:40:53 +0000

Sometimes I think about what I’ll do if we ever get a ceremony/wedding-thing together, and I’m pretty sure I’ll have my grandmother walk me down the aisle. She’s the matriarch, and I’m not one to have my dad walk me down (ick, also my dad’s kind of an asshole, though I suppose technically a good father). And my mom wouldn’t be interested in replacing him. So I could solve it by having Nana walk me down the aisle. I’m sure my partner would have both his parents walk him down, since he’s very close to both of them. I don’t think my family would mind, though, if I had my Nana walk me, even though it breaks with the patriarchal tradition they’re so very, very invested in.