Everyone hates it! Such are the vagaries of writing about gender. But have at me here, if you like. A sample:
Everywhere I went last week, women were talking about Bridesmaids. When they would see it, how many and varied were the ways in which they adored Maya Rudolph, how Kristen Wiig really was amazing in those two minutes of Knocked Up she appeared in, etc. Perhaps that only says something about the circles I travel in, although now we know that people spent about $25 million this weekend to see it. But much as talk of weddings, and all the things one Must Do and Must Have at one, often makes me feel as thought I was born in a pod sent here from the planet I Don’t Know How To Be A Lady, so too did all the hoopla about this movie. I know there’s a burgeoning cultural sub-discussion about the place of women in comedy and in Hollywood—I’ve run up against it before. But it was unclear to me how, exactly, we all had such faith in a movie whose poster contained the words “Produced by Judd Apatow” (shudder) and which used the phrase “Chick Flicks Don’t Have to Suck” as a cornerstone of its marketing.
I hoped, of course, that this was only me being my usual contrarian self, and that my feelings of alienation from the sisterhood would disappear upon seeing the film itself. But they didn’t.
I don’t hate it. I’m also from planet Don’t Know How To Be A Lady and I’m totally with you on the enbafflement.
I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I liked your review–it’s pretty much exactly the response that I assumed I would have when I saw the movie, when I saw the trailer.
It’s tough. I remember seeing Juno and loving it–LOVING it–because it featured a teenage girl who wasn’t a total cipher, it had female friends talking about shit like they are humans, and it’s treatment of the Jennifer Garner/Jason Bateman relationship was subtle and perfect (in my opinion). It seriously took me weeks before I realized how problematic the movie was, and I’ve been reluctant to rewatch because I don’t want to be crushed. It’s so, so rare to see films starring women who are more–even slightly more–than the pure surface that most movies offer as female characters, that whenever it happens I get irrationally excited and happy and positive about the film. I’m sure if I go see Bridesmaids, I’ll get happy and excited and think it’s awesome, and then a week later be all depressed. (The same thing happened after I saw Ratatouille, and is pretty much what happens after every Pixar film).
Some of the comments on The Awl are annoying–everyone who says “we can’t let perfect be the enemy of good” pisses me off. Because while that’s totally true, it’s also true that we shouldn’t treat spoiled scraps from the menfolk like they’re abrosia. Critique is key, and I thought that review was a good balance between recognizing the film’s limits without writing it off as shitty.
I haven’t seen the film (nor do I plan to – not my kind of thing) but based on your description the questions you raise about it are EXACTLY the type of questions I would have had.
I won’t lie: I had “pretty princess” fantasies as a child, although most of them were proto-lesbian fantasies involving “sister” princesses and running away from the palace to play house in the woods. BUT. I did get into playing dress-up with my babysitters’ prom dresses and such. So I get in one sense the allure of the fancy dress ball. But weddings have never been a big thing in my family so I’m kinda baffled by them and the cultural reactions surrounding them.
So because you just “don’t know how to be a lady” Do you also not know how to celebrate a birthday? Celebrate someone’s graduation? The birth of a new baby?
Weddings have become incredibly gendered, this is a serious problem. Butthey are still social rituals that we participate in to celebrate a new couple. YES they have gotten totally out of hand, and I think that was definitely represented in the movie.
But they aren’t only the ridiculous girly princess fantasy they’ve been turned into. They are a ritual about celebrating a couple’s love and their future together. S
Some of the best times I’ve had have been at weddings. They are about the only time I get to see all of my old friends, and the bridal party is a big part of that.
Don’t let your scorn for the wedding industrial complex, which is worthy of scorn, turn into ignoring rituals that bring family and friends together. \
Personally I think this movie did a good job portraying how a wedding brings people together and tears them apart at the same time. You could have made the exact same movie with a bunch of guys. (Minus the shower, and the adorable party favors.)
@Shinobi: There is a large and mysterious abyss between critiquing the wedding industrial complex and “ignoring rituals that bring family and friends together” that I think needs filling in here.
If you evaluate my ability to be happy for you and support you by my ability to choose “adorable party favors,” we probably wouldn’t be great friends any way.
@Shinobi
I really didn’t see Michelle’s review “ignoring rituals that bring family and friends together.” I saw her being critical of the way this film reifies the narratives we’ve been sold about what weddings are about — and particularly what weddings are about for women.
Speaking for myself, I think standing up in front of family and friends and making public commitments to your partner(s) is a powerful act. But that shouldn’t preclude critical analysis of the way we’re told we should do this (or that doing this, and doing it a certain way, is the ONLY way to achieve worth in our society).
Instead, hazily, it’s suggested that her problem with Lillian’s wedding is simply that everyone else’s life seems to be moving forward just as hers descends into disaster: she has no job and has had to move back in with her mother. And, mainly, she has no man.
I dunno, I thought her tantrum at the shower addressed that she thought the whole production was ridiculous. Maybe you can say that there was no support for this and that the context of her situation provides fodder for doubt, but I believed it.
Did anybody else who saw it see another movie fighting to burst out of this one where the wedding as just a vehicle by which to explore the nadir of a lovable loser? I thought the moments that explored how crap her situation was and how she was dealing with it were much more interesting than the boring bourgie wedding nonsense we’ve seen a thousand times. I just never thought the screenplay found its center of gravity, and if it had treated the wedding as context rather than the co-central premise, I would have enjoyed it more. As it was, it was OK.
Thank you for this very refreshing review!
I have not seen the film and have no plans to. This variety of comedy – and Apatow’s name – does not appeal to me and I automatically took it off my radar. That’s why I was surprised when so many women were piling on the praise.
From the little bits I’ve seen in previews, the McCarthy character was what put the final nail in the coffin for me ever putting money down to see this. Not because it looks like she did a bad job, but that it was obvious to me her size was going to play a large role in the humour of the movie and I just didn’t think I could stomach it.
Anyway, as I say, thank you very much for making me feel a little less alone!
Yeah, I’m really not interested in seeing this movie at all. I hate bridal movies to begin with, I hate the wedding industry and I hate Judd Apatow. I would also hate being accused of “not getting it” like you have been, Michelle.
@Kristine
Ditto on the fat-is-funny thing. I get that it’s got lots and lots of traction, even for folks who wrestle with body image issues (hell, even I sometimes find myself laughing at jokes about physical appearance). But it gets old really fast, and I have enough women in my life with body insecurity issues to know that that humor — even if it’s funny in the moment! — has a huge cost down the line.
I’m pretty surprised by the number of people who admit to not having seen the movie yet agree with the review. I saw the movie over the weekend and while I was on a not great date and may have missed some stuff, I definitely did not get that Kristen Wiig’s character was upset about losing her Maya Rudolph to the “land of men” but rather was upset about losing her life long best friend to a woman she perceived as a pompous ass. Just my two cents.
Oh well sorry for reading a review and deciding that watching fat jokes and shit jokes framed in a wedding setting is not my idea of a film for women. It’s like people who are all like “BUT YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT!!!!!!” when I mention that I don’t want to watch The Hangover because I’ve heard enough times that there were problematic things. Am I supposed to give this film a cookie because it has women in starring roles?
Wowsers – I never asked anyone to give the film a cookie. My comment had nothing to do with people reading a review and saying “fat jokes and shit jokes” aren’t my thing so I choose not to see the film; I was wondering how someone can read a review that’s inclusive of plot line, character, cultural commentary, etc and say “Wow, right on” without having seen the film.
I went to see the movie with a fair amount of skepticism but as we basically NEVER see comedies starring females (let alone written by) that aren’t based on females falling down cutely whilst trying to win over a usually unworthy dude, I wanted to support the idea that comedies starring women are worth being made (and that is done by buying ticket – especially on opening weekend). I was actually pleasantly surprised that I laughed more than I groaned. I agree with the comment above that said the wedding in this movie was just a vehicle and not the point of the movie (besides isn’t hating marriage and judging those who take part in it just as bad as the folks who tell you that you need to be married? Sorry, side thought). Anyway – I absolutely agree that it was not a feminist masterpiece of any sort. I agree that the use of “isn’t it funny that the fat chick thinks someone would desire her” kind of humor is awful and annoying despite the actress’s ability to own the role. That said – I thought that the claim that there was nothing female about this movie but the casting is VERY unfair. The major conflict in the story revolved around best friend jealousy – an idea so stereotypically female that it was annoying to me. The female characters had as much or more depth and development as the males in other comedies. The accusation that it failed the Bechdel test because all conversations were about a wedding is also just untrue. Many conversations between women were about their female relationships, their pasts (not just the dudes in their past), etc.
I would love to see more comedies that give women a chance to show that we are funny too – even if the humor is not about being female (because what hollywood thinks women think is funny is why we don’t think women are funny). Comedies about being female end up being crap like 27 Dresses (which you can see if you truly missed the old hat ugly bridesmaid dress jokes since it’s a 2 hour long ugly bridesmaid dress joke).
I know we should be past the point of “begging for scraps” but sadly, we are not. Until millionaire feminists open their own major studios – I believe we have to support stepping stones to get to the point where the feminist masterpiece comedy can actually be made (and distributed). While the movie was far from perfect or feminist – at least it wasn’t misogynist like most comedies. The world may be no better for it but I don’t think it’s any worse for it either. It was produced by Judd Apatow – who is pretty much the person producing comedy these days and hate him or not, the world would have one less female written and filled comedy without his help. If you don’t like comedic “romps” (the only other recent female comedic romp to be mass distributed, fyi, is Sex and City 2 – insert vomit here) then no, you won’t enjoy this movie. If you have a zero tolerance policy on gross out humor – avoid it. But I found it to be one of the more entertaining things I’ve spent $9 and two hours on in quite a while.
I’m also very interested to know examples of comedies many of you DO find funny.
Reading comprehension, a crucial feminist tool.
Nowhere does this review say the flick “failed” the Bechdel test.
Nowhere did I say that all conversations were about a wedding.
When I began writing this review a friend reminded me I had vowed never to write about weddings. I’m beginning to remember why.
You’re right, I apologize. I guess we both have a little problem with the exact details of what we both just saw/read.
Sorry – that last comment probably sounded rude in a way I didn’t mean it to.
I really appreciate your analysis even if I came to a different conclusion.
I was wondering how someone can read a review that’s inclusive of plot line, character, cultural commentary, etc and say “Wow, right on” without having seen the film.
@veggiewood as one of the people who made a sort of “wow, right on” comment I thought I should probably respond to this! I was thinking less along the lines of, “that’s precisely what I’d say about film X” but more that, based on Michelle’s description of the film and it’s basic plot, the questions she raises about what it does and doesn’t do sound like the very issues I would have with a film that is as she describes. They’re issues I often have with the sort of slapstick big-screen comedies that “Bridesmaids” falls into as a category.
@AmBam in response to your question about what comedies are funny … I find humor to be a surprisingly difficult subject to tackle, because it’s so personal. I’ve gotten into more painful arguments with people who felt I was censuring what they found funny / got pleasure from than I’ve had arguments with people over what they find sexy (NOT kidding!). Part of it is that I don’t think it’s a simple question of “what do you find humorous?” because sometimes humor can be funny even when you find it distasteful, prejudiced, etc. We find cross-dressing funny for example because our culture trains us to believe that “men” dressed as “women” are incongruous. Likewise the comedic effect of supposedly “ugly” people acting in ways we don’t believe (culturally) they’re entitled to act.
So what I find funny isn’t necessarily always what I appreciate as comedy.
That having been said, I think Eddie Izzard has wicked timing. I still love the wit of the West Wing even years after its gone off the air. Genre shows like Dr. Who and Buffy and Bones crack me up on a regular basis. Firefly for the win! And my girlfriend and I watch a lot of British Comedies. The cast of Vicar of Dibley is not to be beat. Nor Chef! or My Family either
“And so we’re back to the same old thing: any ambivalence Annie feels towards the wedding is just a cipher for her fear that she will never, herself, have a guy to call her own.”
Huh, I didn’t get this from the movie. I thought Annie’s ambivalence was much more strongly tied to her feeling that she was losing her best friend to Helen (not to Lillian’s husband-to-be). Yes, the fact that Lillian’s life was moving forward while Annie’s was in retrograde contributed to the ambivalence. And not having a relationship was perhaps a (small, IMO) part of the retrograde. But I felt the closing of Annie’s business was really highlighted as the thing that fast-tracked her downward spiral.
In general, the film, to me, was mostly about the the fear and ambivalence that often marks even happy changes. The scene with Annie and Lillian in Lillian’s apartment right before the wedding really brought that home.
Regarding Melissa McCarthy’s character Megan, the movie initially did make her the butt of some jokes. But over time she was revealed to be the only one of the bunch truly comfortable in her own skin. It was her strength and unapologetic sense of self that inspired Annie to crawl out of her hole and start trying at life again. By making Megan the linchpin of Annie’s turnaround, I sort of felt like the movie was kind of tsk-tsking the audience for laughing at Megan in the first place. I might be overreaching here though…
Anyways, as I’ve made clear in this forum many times, I don’t like much about current wedding culture and the WIC. Yet I liked this movie. Go figure.
a huge “Right On!” to AmBam and Tall-in-Heels
I couldn’t agree more – this film was an excellent stepping stone in the direction of that mainstream feminist comedy I see in the near future. And it was very refreshing to realize by the time the credits were rolling that the guy playing the groom didn’t have a single line in the film. It was more about Wiig’s character coming to terms with her best friend possibly becoming a more distant or different best friend to her.
I thought the movie was friggin’ funny, I laughed my ass off. Sad that so many people are turned off by Judd Apatow’s name. It was directed by Paul Feig and written by Wiig and another woman. Apatow ensured that the damn thing would be made in the first place, and for that, he gets 10 cool points. Besides, I find some of his films funny, I’m sure I’m gonna lose feminist points for that but I’ll bounce back.
It’s disturbing that there are so few GOOD roles for women in Hollywood movies. The trailer for Bridesmaids wasn’t even funny, so I probably won’t go see it.
@Ashley – I agree with you that the trailer sucks. It’s actually a marketing FAIL, because the movie isn’t, like someone said above, “The Hangover” with boobs, but that’s what I saw the trailer trying to make it into. If it weren’t for the reviews I read from people who have similar film taste as myself, I wouldn’t have bothered either. Give it a chance! There’s not much Apatow-y about “Bridesmaids”; and its failures are few, far between, and minute; and the movie is just straight up damn funny.
I don’t remember any of my friends acting as stupid as the “girls” in this movie. Furthermore, “girls who are looking for dates” would not have a friend who looked like Melissa McCarthy in this movie. Especially never saying anything to her about her weight, lack of makeup, the way she dresses…etc. she did not fit in with this group of friends….and yes this was about a bunch of shallow women!
dolores – of course none of your real life friends would act this stupid; you don’t live in a movie where things are purposely exaggerated for comedic effect. I take it you didn’t find this particular brand of “comedy” funny, and you are absolutely entitled to your opinion on that! But to criticize a purposefully over-the-top movie on the grounds that it doesn’t reflect real-life behavior is strange to me.
As for your points about McCarthy’s character Megan, it seems like a no-win situation for the movie makers. You criticize the movie because you think the other women’s acceptance of her as a friend – particularly without any digs against her weight and looks – is unrealistic. Yet, had the movie made a joke of Megan in the “realistic” way you describe, then it would be (rightly) criticized as yet another tiring and infuriating perpetuation of size-ism, looks-ism, etc. I liked the fact that the other women did not make an issue of the things you point out. Even if you’re right that it’s not the way many women would have acted in real life (and I question that; not all women are superficial jerks), isn’t it a good thing to see such nonjudgmental portrayals in the media?
[To be clear, I do not think the movie's portrayal of Megan was flawless; there is definitely room for criticism. But I don't think the criticism should be focused on the fact that the other characters did not denigrate Megan's looks.]
dolores-I’m a little perturbed by your statement. Not all women are snide assholes towards people like Megan. From my own experiences as a fat girl, the only people that gave me fatphobic bullshit were strangers and people that weren’t necessarily close to me.
It were my friends and family that had my back, my friends and family ranging from really thin to in-betweenie, that tore a new one out of anyone that ever tried to treat me less as a person.
So I really resent the implication that women are all naturally, I guess the best term would be “catty,” and that as a fat person my life is lived miserably.
Thanks for writing this review. After seeing the movie I was stunned that it got such glowing reviews in general. Then started to wonder how many of the reviews were written by women.
Just watched this movie with two female friends. One my best friend for 40+ years and the other a friend I’ve known for 12 years and recently introduced to my BFF. I loved how my friends became friends with each other. No sense of loss only more fun for everyone. We were all appalled at the depiction of friendship as competition. Depicting two friends as rivals was so mean spirited and just not funny.
Who would “fire” their best friend as their maid of honor? Really?
At list the characters in THE HANGOVER cared about each other and were kind.