My mom and I usually talk on the phone on Sunday nights. Last night, I was particularly looking forward to it because BroDork and his fam had just been there for a visit, and I was sure there would be Stories (there were: Child #1 loves the Water Park! Child #3 is a Happy Baby! Child #2 Clocked Himself and Got an ER Visit!).
There was another story, though, which is what is prompting this post: I was informed, with very little ado, that MamaDork is getting married on Friday to her manpanion.
Yay? Weird? Feelings?
While it’s not totally out of the blue (she had told me late last month that they were talking about it) I am unsettled, and I should be happy, right? I mean, I am, but…
Maybe it’s because it seems fast–they’ve been dating only a bit over a year? Maybe it’s because I don’t know him very well? I met him at Christmas, and I like him well enough, I guess. Maybe it’s because they’re marrying on Friday, with only a pair of friends to stand up with them? (Although at least they’re not going nutso with the wedding-industrial complex.) Maybe because I think marriage is unnecessary, and because I’m disappointed that she’s taking his name (and thus will no longer share my name) and all the other attendant issues for which I Blame the Patriarchy?
Now, I’ve been through this already, sort of. PapaDork remarried in 2002, I think, and he only gave me about a week’s notice, too. (I guess children don’t usually attend their parent’s weddings…) But he’d been with his now-wife for years, and I knew her and her kids decently well, and I knew where I fit in to this new family dynamic.
And I think maybe that’s what I don’t know now. As of Friday evening, I’m going to have a step-father. And, technically, a step-sister I’ve never met, who has seven kids (HOLY SHIT SEVEN KIDS) of her own. What does it meeeeeeean?
I suppose I shouldn’t be borrowing trouble, since they live hundreds of miles away and their marriage won’t–I think— change my day-to-day life one whit. But conceptually, it will, and of course some things will change, and maybe that’s what I’m unsettled about.
Anyway, I’d appreciate hearing from readers who have dealt with parents re-partnering–legally or otherwise–and what you learned.