Comments on: In Which I Share My Internal Monologue About My Hair

By: Reflections on the Racialicious Roundtable - The Pursuit of Harpyness

Reflections on the Racialicious Roundtable - The Pursuit of Harpyness — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 21:33:42 +0000

[...] most of my family is. Most people who meet me assume I’m Cuban or Dominican because of my hair. When I was younger, my parents urged me to date only African-American men. While I was attracted [...]

By: Charlotte

Charlotte — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 23:02:45 +0000

shrimpeyes — my brother started going grey at 16, all the men in my family wind up with gorgeous silver hair by about 40. Mine’s getting these interesting silver threads through it — so had my stylist go with lowlights in my natural color (which hasn’t been seen in a while). Hoping for an interesting, streaky, chocolate brown/white thing. We’ll see.
And foureleven/bariquel — I swear by Kiehls silk groom — it’s mostly lanolin (I guess I’m a sheep) and keeps my curls soft, and not too frizzy and keeps my hair from breaking. Although I’ve been known to use olive oil or even just moisturizer when stuck travelling.

By: baraqiel

baraqiel — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 15:35:30 +0000

On the subject of hair touching: when I was younger, I basically never cut my hair so it was reeeeally long (like down to my butt). There was a guy in one of my classes that I had a weird antagonistic flirtation with for a while and at one point (when it was more antagonistic than flirtation), we were watching a movie and he sat behind me and played with my hair the entire class period. My hair was long enough that I honestly couldn’t feel it and didn’t find out until the end of class when I turned around and inadvertently caught him…but everyone else in the class had seen him doing it…and no one said anything. In retrospect, this weirds me out.

By: BeckySharper

BeckySharper — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 21:59:14 +0000

@foureleven & MM: I bet those white women who say it’s fine because “it’s just hair” would freak the fuck out if someone did that to them. In fact, I’d pay good money to see what happened if some black woman rolled up on one of those white ladies and just started touching her hair to “see what it feels like.”

In general, I also think it’s just downright strange to think it’s okay to touch someone else’s hair. I mean, I admire people’s hair all the time, but I just LOOK. I also don’t go feeling up people’s skin and muscles or whatever else I can see of them, because that would be skeevy.

By: foureleven

foureleven — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 21:49:50 +0000

mischiefmanager – I don’t like when people touch my hair without asking. I’m not a figure in a museum, I’m a person! Although, judging by the number of comments by white women who don’t understand what the big deal is because it’s “just hair,” this will continue to be an ongoing issue.

By: mischiefmanager

mischiefmanager — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 21:00:53 +0000

Here’s an article about hair and privilege: http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/07/25/touching.natural.black.hair/index.html?hpt=hp_bn8

Hands off, people, what the hell!

By: shrimpeyes

shrimpeyes — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 20:18:18 +0000

I’ve been lurking on this site for a while, enjoying the posts but never contributing because someone always says it better than I can. However, on the topic of hair I am as qualified as the next person to give my two cents. I started going grey at the age of 28. I dyed my hair for several years, until finally one day I had enough. Enough of the stink of ammonia, enough of dripping dye all over the place and staining my ears and neck. It was an uncomfortable 2 years it took for my hair to grow long enough that I could trim off the old dyed bits. I wore a lot of hats during this time.Fast forward to today, I have a glorious curtain of hair the colour of moonlight.I do still get the occassional suggestion that I would look ever so much younger (and therefore, better) if I dyed my hair. I don’t want to be one of those “mutton dressed as lamb” women. Flying my grey flag as I do, I’m challenging people’s ideas of what old looks like and I would just like to encourage anyone sitting on the fence to give it a go.

By: Pharm Sci Grad

Pharm Sci Grad — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 00:17:39 +0000

Like annimal, my coworkers always comment how nice my hair looks when it’s been cut (and straightened). It annoys me because it’s fake – a drop of moisture and it curls right back up. So I should fight the atmosphere and my hair’s natural inclinations to get complemented?!? I think not. To me, my hair is a statement of non-conformity and is pretty unique – I’ve embraced it.

I was sad as a kid that my hair was so different than all of my friends’ and I couldn’t wear the same styles as they did. Plus, my straight-haired mother had no idea how to handle my hair so when I was ten I cut it all off. That took care of that problem! Later, I went through the slow process of growing it back out.

Now I had a style that’s five minutes and go, layered, long, and curly (however it wants to be). Or just ponytail in this weather. I’m just glad I’m in a profession where most people could give a care what I look like day to day.

By: Sara

Sara — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 20:38:50 +0000

I was thinking more about this, and I decided that there is also something sort of nice about being able to experiment with my hair. Most appearance-related things have at least some minor health implications, but hear is dead, and it cannot be “healthy” or “unhealthy” (words which are thrown around entirely too much in advertising), so I should not feel concerned about taking a flat iron to it every day or using shampoo with sulfates or doing whatever else I feel like doing with it.

Nobody should be made to feel guilty for potentially health-related decisions in other domains, of course, but we all know such guilt is pretty common in our society nonetheless. I see the potential to frame hair as a respite from health concerns – not only from the unproblematic but sometimes nagging personal concerns most of us have about our own health, but also from the social guilt.

By: annimal

annimal — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 19:05:43 +0000

I was fortunate in that my formative years were in the 80′s, and my hair (white girl wavy/curly and thick) more or less matched the fashion at the time. Perhaps because of this, I still prefer it curly, even though there’s less of it now. It freaks me out when I get it cut and they straighten it and then I get the “OMG your hair looks so good” comments from coworkers. Of course, this is not a problem for very long since it goes back to its natural state.
But I am having an internal debate about the greys. I’m 42 and have a few. I used to think that I would just start coloring it when I went grey. However, now I’m not so sure. I don’t feel like they’re aging me prematurely and it’s nice not to have the hassle or deal with the damage to my hair. But there are times when I really want to get rid of them. I’ll probably wait until there are more of them and then start coloring it.