I think part of the problem is that we spend way too much time talking about the problem. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s important to give voice to the pressures around aging, weight, and other aesthetic considerations that disproportionately affect women. But when the discussion around an issue focuses almost exclusively on the awful things that old, fat, or not conventionally attractive women face, it can reinforce the fear of those things and the related social pressure to fight them at all costs. For example, awhile ago I read about a woman who did a documentary on aging. From what I can recall, most of the film focused on women talking about the negative societal ramifications of getting old. A much shorter part of the film was spent talking to (one, maybe?) woman who embraced aging and was living a good life. Unsurprisingly, after immersing herself in the parade of horribles with very little to counterbalance it, the film maker herself began to strongly consider getting plastic surgery. What if the film had spent a brief time introducing and acknowledging the problem, but the main focus had been on fabulous, dynamic, aging women who were doing great in life and love? I believe the film maker would not have walked away from the experience with fear plaguing her and plastic surgery on her mind.

I heard a radio ad for a botox place in town and a chirpy woman explained that, “If you care about yourself enough to eat right and exercise . . . ” as if botox were one more thing a woman needed to do to take care of her body. I didn’t hear the rest because I don’t want my kids listening to that crap, so I turned the station to some Ke$ha.