Comments on: 90 Minutes I’ll Never Get Back…

By: Honey Badger Don’t Care—And Neither Do You - The Pursuit of Harpyness

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 12:01:39 +0000

[...] been thinking a lot about what commenters sam and Skada said in the comments thread on my post 90 Minutes I’ll Never Get Back. Skada remarked: There is soooo much pressure to accommodate men instead of voicing our own [...]

By: Skeeving–Not Just For Guys!: A Guest Post by Not Mr. Big - The Pursuit of Harpyness

Fri, 23 Sep 2011 01:14:50 +0000

[...] I thought I’d share a recent dating encounter to offer the flip side of her skeevy experience last weekend. When I began dating again after my breakup, I joined an online dating site. Since joining [...]

By: gogobooty

gogobooty — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 01:55:35 +0000

The one thing I liked about Sex and the City was how everyone (or maybe just Carrie and Samantha?) would just up and RUN from bad dates. Barely an excuse and buh bye.

Good for you Becky Sharper! Get the hell out when it’s a waste of time.

By: Doctor Whom

Doctor Whom — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 22:01:33 +0000

“And did he even bother to ask you any questions?”

Teacher, call on me. I know the answer. I know because I once dated someone like this, too.

By: igglanova

igglanova — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 20:06:02 +0000

I screamed when I got to the part about the finger-stroking. Oh my god. I know this word is kind of overused, but the guy sounds like an actual narcissist to me.

By: Ms. Pinot

Ms. Pinot — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 17:53:01 +0000

Was the wine bar called “Terroir”? Because if it is…then it seems to be on some asshole “good first date” list. Been there, had the bad date, had to escape. Thanks for sharing your misadventure in NYC dating. I had a sympathetic snicker. The Big Seductive Move is slightly creepy, awkward, and something that 15 year old boys picked up from Playboy. Sorry you had to suffer, but the joy of escaping is always lovely.

By: veganmarcy

veganmarcy — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 01:12:18 +0000

*chair

By: veganmarcy

veganmarcy — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 01:11:04 +0000

I could say a lot of things, but damnit, fucking your hand with his thumb is creepy and familiar territory and I need to go disinfect my hands just thinking about it.

My first college dance I got my ass smacked in two seconds of walking (this threw me off), and the guy who forced me to grind, I mean dance, with him did not kiss me. He did not stroke my face. No, he just leaned in and LICKED MY FACE. Then went right back to what he was doing. Who the hell raises these guys, that’s what I want to know. If I had a son and he seemed at all douchey or negging, doesn’t matter how old he was, he’d be stuck in his room, duct taped to a share, and forced to watch “Free to Be You and Me” until he learned to play nice.

By: Marie Anelle

Marie Anelle — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 20:18:26 +0000

I think I have to go wash the ick off just reading that, let alone what it must’ve been like first hand.

The social conditioning of being accommodating almost got me date raped once and I could’ve used a Becky Sharper in my youth.

By: Skada

Skada — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 19:21:45 +0000

I just want to second Sam’s comment and Becky’s response.

There is soooo much pressure to accommodate men instead of voicing our own opinions. I really wish, ten years ago, I would’ve had more exposure to posts like this that show a confident, assertive woman turning down a guy.

It concerns me that I’m reading this and thinking of it as kind of a radical, rare thing — it almost makes me want to start a Tumblr collection of examples of women being assertive like you, Becky. I think the world could use more of this.