Comments on: Skeeving–Not Just For Guys!: A Guest Post by Not Mr. Big

By: Brian

Brian — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 20:48:27 +0000

Huh – until Carla’s comment, I had read everything under the impression the original poster was a woman.

Rereading (everything) I reacted a lot differently – now to figure out which time I was fucking up (both, presumably).

By: oh hells nah

oh hells nah — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 20:10:09 +0000

This is a lot kinder than what I would have written about a date like this. Kudos to you for that.

By: annimal

annimal — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 17:18:55 +0000

Oh my, I think I actually watched that episode of reality TV that your date was was on…so that makes the post extra funny and at the same time drives home the skeev factor

By: Doctor Whom

Doctor Whom — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 16:49:17 +0000

Not Mr. Big and elibard: Good job getting out of there in time. Both of your skeevsters sound as though they could have easily made the jump to bunny-boiler status.

By: elibard

elibard — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 16:13:59 +0000

Not Mr. Big – Thank you for this post! It was funny, humble, a good insight into the other side, as you say, and I think the tone was perfect for this site.

I’ve certainly encountered aspiring starlets like your reality star! Met a guy with an amazing body and stunning way of moving it on the dance floor, and went on exactly one date with him. He took me to a club where I was clearly a foreign object. I’ve never seen so many amazing bodies moving so beautifully (I dance, but these people were preternatural). My date was also an actor, and name dropped all the shows he had gotten minor parts in (only about 15% of which I had ever heard of), and all the peeps he had partied with (none of whom I knew or had heard of or cared about). When I asked him what he had read lately, he scoffed similar to your reality star! He refused to read, thought it slowed you down. So it was very clear we were from different planets, and I left as soon as I’d gotten a few good dances with other folks, and we mutually agreed it was over. He gave a half-hearted attempt to invite me to go out again or at least have sex with him, which I politely declined. However, he called periodically for months. Clearly he assumed his starlet’s gravitational pull kept all he met in irresistible orbit around him. I was relieved when he finally dropped me from his self-reassuring call list.

Those dates to other planets can be fun and enlightening. But I sure couldn’t live in that atmosphere.

It’s nice to hear from another perspective like yours. Thanks!

By: mischiefmanager

mischiefmanager — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 16:07:34 +0000

@NMB: Oh, I’m glad you posted, and I don’t see your pov as hijacking the mission of the blog at all. My question was how this post is different from one that, to me, seemed similar in content.

@Becky: I’m just trying to understand. I didn’t see Lurker’s comment as derailing, but again, it’s not my site.

@Carla: Because feminists,and friends, can differ. I tried to phrase my question respectfully, but I thought it was a fair question.

By: Not Mr. Big

Not Mr. Big — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 15:56:17 +0000

@carla – I hear you, I’m a pretty big guy so I seldom fear for my physical safety on dates, but if the tables were turned and a guy did that to a girl she could likely press charges.

By: Carla

Carla — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 15:50:02 +0000

I like the yikes tag here because that’s what I said when I read it. Sorry you got so skeeved upon–she was way out of line. Some people just have no sense if appropriate boundaries. The one thing that makes this different gender-wise is that if this happened to a woman on a date, she’d probably be worried about her physical safety and the possibility of being date raped. It doesn’t sound like the poster here was worried about his safety, just offended (rightly).

MischiefManager: if you expect to get eviscerated, why make the comment at all?

By: Not Mr. Big

Not Mr. Big — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 14:57:35 +0000

@mischiefmanager – This post came about because Becky and I occasionally share stories about our dating exploits (the good, the bad and the ugly). I mentioned this particular episode to her, she suggested I write a post, and I was happy to share. I’m not trying to hjiack the mission of this blog by any means, I’m grateful the editors allow me the opportunity to occasionally add my perspective, perhaps a different lens to observe some of the issues they routinely cover, and cover exquisitely. My simple hope is that I can sometimes offer a glimpse at the other side.

By: BeckySharper

BeckySharper — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 13:39:15 +0000

I’m not sure why this post is all that different from Lurker’s the other day

Because it was posted by the editors of this site, whereas that was a random derailing comment (and it was substantially different from this post). If you want to express your opinion on that comment, do it in that comment thread instead of threadjacking on this post.