I swear a lot. A LOT. On FB, in real life, even in my classes (for example, I’ve referred to certain fictional characters as “assholes” before). I probably need to fucking cool it.
See what I did there?
I did it really purposefully, because I’ve realized that unlike a lot of people, I don’t swear when it makes sense to swear: when you drop something on your foot, or miss the subway train by 10 seconds. Then, I’m more like to hiss “Shhhhh…ugar!” or “Fuuuuu…dge!” It’s kind of twee, actually.
But hoo-boy, do I fuckin’ swear. I swear most often in order to amplify a sentiment. I use profanity as a modifier, not an exclamation. And “fuck”–the Really Bad One–is my amplifier of choice. I use it like most people use “really.” Maybe because I find “really” to be really/fuckin’ overused. But for me, “fucking” is getting to that point, too. I teach public speaking, and at some point, profanity always comes up (probably because of something I said), and I always say that 1) you need to consider your audience and 2) cusswords should be used sparingly, lest they lose their effect and/or make you sound like a dumbass.
See what I did there? I fear that I’m making myself sound like a dumbass.
So, today’s FFT is about swearing, cursing, cussin’, making vulgar oaths, and shit like that. First tell us about your habits and preferences vis-a-vis profanity: do you swear? How much? Which words do you love? Which do you avoid, or find really offensive? Then let me know if you’ve ever had to curb your dirty dirty mouth, and how you managed to do it, ’cause I am seriously sucking donkey balls at cleaning up my act.
Like you, I use fuck as my go-to modifier, as well as a heated, under-the-breath interjection when I’m frustrated. There was an article awhile back in the New Yorker that jokingly said something like “just as Africa has its click-speaking peoples, New York has its fuck-speaking peoples.” I am one of them. That said, I don’t do it at the office (unless strictly necessary) or in the presence of kids or folks who I know would disapprove (Hi Grandpa!)
One of my colleagues, a Jersey girl who was definitely part of the fuck-speaking tribe of the New York region, took on a project that involved her going to Colorado Springs to do product training with a evangelical Christian-oriented company. She knew that if the dropped the f-bomb even once, she’d be outta there. So for two months before she went, she kept a jar on her desk and had to drop a dollar in it every time she cussed. Everyone in the office was deputized to call her on it when she did. Fortunately, she reformed enough to get through the two weeks at Jesus Inc without swearing.
True story: I was 17 years old when I learned the word fuck. I learned it in the literal sexual context first, so I spent a while after that being quite confused by its usage as a amplifier. Since I learned profanity so late, I speak it as a second language, which is to say, not very naturally or frequently. I’m more likely to catch my self about to say “shoot” and modify it to “shit” than the other way around. The up side to my naturally squeaky clean language is that when I do drop an F-bomb it is really a BOMB and gets people’s attention.
“New York has its fuck-speaking peoples.”
I need to move to New York. I’m a chronic f-bomb dropper, but I’m fully ensconced in Midwest “niceness,” so I’m careful where I drop them. (The supermarket is generally not a good place for a litany of “fuck yous.”)
Does anyone swear in front of their parents? Growing up, mine were pretty cool about the language thing, and didn’t care if I let a “shit” or “damn” fly,” though I was an adult before I said fuck in front of my parents. I didn’t know this was unusual, as most people I know still won’t swear in front of their folks.
I swear like a motherfucking trooper, and my mother taught me all the profanity I know!
I do have to censor myself quite a lot – I teach part time at a riding school so ‘curses’ comes into play a lot around the kids and parents… My proper job is in an office and I try to avoid swearing in front of newbies and people I don’t know well. And the CEO.
I quite like ‘shitfuckpissbuggerwankARSEHOLES’ as a reliever of feelings. It trips off the tongue beautifully! I’ve never said the c-word out loud and probably never will – I don’t like it.
I ‘like’ a facebook page called ‘intelligent, articulate women who say ‘fuck’ a lot’. Because I am one.
I cuss a lot. A LOT LOT. Apparently I don’t look like someone who swears (although how that is determined is still beyond me) so when I, raised in North Jersey and fluent in fuck-language, speak the way I am most comfortable, at least one person does a double take. I try not to cuss in front of professors because it’s unprofessional, but in social situations watch the fuck out. (It’s even fun to type!)
However, given the unprofessionalism, the fact that I’m teaching now, and have chosen teaching and public speaking as a career, AND that I have nieces and nephews at the “repeat uncritically” stage of learning to speak, I am trying to find substitutes. I try to reserve the word to its best purpose. So I do use dang and shoot for small things: dropped my keys, broke a nail, or I’m out of coffee. I use made up words, like “nargle” for a really confusing problem. (And I have no idea where THAT came from.) The bigger the problem the bigger the word. Also, the bigger the victory, the bigger the word. I found AWESOME primary sources last week, and had to restrain myself from yelling “FUCK YEAH!!!” in the middle of a library. (I did say it very quietly to myself!)
Favorite cuss word? Fuck. In all its glory and all its derivatives.
Good one, Dorkie!
I do have a lot of fondness for certain words. Others I won’t use at all-those tend to be anatomical (except for asshole and its derivatives, without which I could not ever reference the Republican party).
As an adult child, I do not use those words around my mom. She wouldn’t mind but it makes me feel uncomfortable. As a parent of adult children, I don’t use those words around them, but they use them around me, which is fine with me. Our kids think I’m pointlessly old-fashioned on this but they indulge me.
What I really, really don’t like is people cursing loudly in public spaces. It is amazing the amount of bad language you hear in grocery stores these days, especially around young kids. I also don’t think it’s cute to teach little kids to curse (yeah, I’m talking to you, FCKH8.com, much as I love your videos).
Given the increasing use of words that used to be taboo in polite society, it’s just a matter of time before they lose their status as swear words entirely. I wonder what will come along to replace them, because there is a need in language for words with shock value.
I don’t swear a whole lot. The parental units taught me lots of interesting swear words, but they also sprang on me the unwritten rule about doing as grownups say, not as they do. That rule and my religious upbringing led me to come up with some interesting euphemisms. I’ll never forget the time I got startled, blurted out “O holy Semiramis,” and got the strangest looks from passers-by.
I swear a lot, too. Fuck/the fuck is my go to word/phrase. I’m pretty good though at keeping it under control around my daughter, other kids, etc. My husband, not so much.
My favorite non-swear word swear is christmas. I also say clams. The really weird part is that clam is a term of endearment for my husband. (I don’t understand me either.)
Just this morning in the grocery store I was astounded by the price of a box of frozen mac and cheese ($12.55). Holy sherman tanks is what came out.
@craftydabbler: I love “holy Sherman tanks!” I might have to use that!
My go-to alternative swear is the Spanish word coño, which is super-satisfying to say.
heh. coño. All the time. Even though, if I said similar things in English I would not be happy with myself. There’s another even more profane thing in Spanish that I use just because it’s more shocking to old school spanish speakers but goddammit I can’t bring myself to type it.
It’s really interesting that my mother, who learned English at age 30, is shocked-Shocked! by bad words in English, but will swear like a sailor in Spanish.
All my go-to qualifiers seem to be religious phrases. I picked up these from my parents, mostly my dad (my parents left the Catholic church around child 2 or 3, well before I was born (#5). I never went to church, and am a pagan. So this doesn’t make much sense that I still do it.
When something goes wrong I tend to shout “Jesus Christ!” Sometimes this becomes “Jesus Christ on a Cracker!”. After my friend was dx with celiac, it became Jesus Christ on a Gluten-free Cracker. “God” gets good usage as well. One of my dad’s frequent ones was “Mary, Queen in Heaven!” which was said in a tone like “fuck it all!”.
I am in the midst of raising kids, and keep my mouth clean except for the prolific use of the above plus Crap, Jerk, and Idiot.
I am incapable of swearing around my parents. With adult friends I let slip some of the conventional swear words, but having controlled myself for so long as a parent, it is hard. Interestingly enough, in email, I tend to swear easily, and without the religious phrases.
I am a potty mouthed girl. I can’t help it. I’ve been like this since I was 13. I was hangin’ with some really sweet women who don’t swear at all and I felt like such an asshole when I realized every other word out of my mouth was “fuck.” I try to clean it up around people who don’t swear or when I’m around children, but boy howdy, it’s hard. I accidentally taught my 4 year old niece the word “sucks” (could have been much worse). Some people also find it unfeminine, but those people can suck it. @Rodriguez Was it “culo?” That’s horribly offensive in my Mexican family, so when I lived in Spain I was appalled when people used it willy nilly.
Oh, and “motherfucker” is an other favorite, but according to my boyfriend, I pronounce it “mothafucka.”
I have successfully curbed my potty mouth! I used to swear a lot, and part of that was caught from an ex who swore a great deal at me and called me obscenities but then excused it as just the way he spoke.
My boyfriend never swears and I spend a lot of time with his parents, so I had to reign it back. And I am frankly very glad not to have to worry so much about letting anything slip when in “polite” company – because I often don’t have my wits about me, offending my Granny or a passing vicar used to be a real concern.
Two problems. One is when I am in more pain. I have chronic pain, and when that cranks up swearwords seem to creep back into my vocabulary without my even noticing. But the biggest problem is describing obnoxious people. The other day I encountered a… well, I couldn’t say prick, wanker, fucker, bastard, twat or arsehole. I ended up opting for “plonker”. Which just sounds silly. I desperately need to revise non-English insult words.
@ohhellsnah nah- not culo! culo is very offensive in Cuba too – they’re equally freaked by the Spanish culo as Mexicans. I think Spaniards are the most potty mouthed of all the “family”.
I’ll type out the euphemism – I am such a child. It’s “me cago en diez.”
I am a big fan of good Anglo-Saxon four letter words, but I try to reserve them for appropriate situations (hurting myself, extreme feeling, and occasional use as a modifier), so as not to wear them out. Fuck and shit are my go-to favourites, but I like the odd ‘Jesus Christ’ too.
The moment I first knew I was really fluent in German was when I first swore *instinctively* in it – I hurt myself and ‘Scheiße’ came out instead of an English word…
That said I maintain that English has the best swear words. ‘Merde’, ‘Mierda’, ‘Scheiße’ et al just don’t have the series of consonants necessary to make a swear word really impressive, if you ask me.
Sooooo I’ll probably get in shit if I don’t preface by saying that I’ve got a really bad example of gendered insults and slut shaming in here, so be warned.
I swear a lot, sometimes in French, but ‘fuck’ is my go to. Also all the variations of breaking a commandment. Reading my posts I’m pretty sure shit, bullshit, and various derivates have shown up too.
I usually get offended at gendered insults, but being hot tempered and human I have resorted them once in a while and nowadays I feel really guilty in my rage. However when I was young I was a walking, talking, Judd Apatow approved guy’s girl because I was all “chicks are crazy, man!” When the hubby was having fidelity issues and decided to pick a….erm….insert ableist slur here chick who then stalked him, tried to take him away from our kid and try to arrange to get my ass kicked while harassing my mom, I might have called her a ‘cock juggling thundercunt’ who needed to ‘get her gonhorherpasyphillaids hooker ass’ out of my life.
I was also 21 years old and not aware of just how offensive that all really is. So I’ve mellowed since then.
Swearing is definitely better in an English accent. A more fun word to say than ‘bugger!’ I do not know. ‘Drat’ in front of my parents…
@Catalania: One of my British friends always uses bugger as her go-to cuss word. It’s a really satisfying combination of sounds for swearing. When my friend is really riled up, she stretches it out to “buggeration!” which has led to her Italian husband saying “buggerazione.”
I also swear a lot.. and fuck is one of the go to words I use a lot!!!!
When I teach I make sure that I don’t swear, though once I did (I dropped an overhead projector on my foot). I will use more common vernacular especially to connect with students and it seems to work.
As an Aussie, swearing is something that seems to be in the water – it happens naturally, and could almost be a national past-time.
I use a variety of swear words, whatever seems to roll off my tongue is said (whether under my breath or out loud). I sometimes can drop that “c” word. Though as I understand one part of the etymology of the word “cunt” – it comes from the latin for deep dark hole.. so I at times will call a person or thing a “deep dark hole” and sometimes saying that is far more satisfying than the c-bomb..
Goodness gracious!
Do you lot eat with those same mouths?
Inga Muscio would have women reclaim the word ‘cunt’, rejecting its negative connotations and reincarnating it as a symbol of women’s power and strength.
Embrace it!
Own it!
Live it!
@ Marie Anelle,
‘cock juggling thundercunt’ ?
And how, exactly, is this to be considered derogatory?
I can think of no better petard by which to hoist me – excepting maybe ‘Thalidomide Stump Sucker’ – than cock-juggling thundercunt.
Yeah, I made the mistake of giving up cursing for Lent one year. I should have realized by then that if I give something up for forty days and then give myself free-rein to do it as much as I want . . . it starts to get a little out of control. (See also: my chocolate addiction and serious soda problems.) Lent is still a very important tradition for me, but the cursing experience finally convinced me that the solitary self-deprivation traditions are probably not the healthiest idea.
So now I have to make a conscious effort to tamp it down in situations where it’s absolutely not appropriate, like in a professor’s office hours or at the dinner table with Rev. and Mrs. Brennan. I usually use the four-letters as modifiers, but when I started taking riding lessons, I discovered they make very good expletives when your horse runs away on you. I joke that that’s why I’m not allowed to take lessons with kids anymore. I also swear a lot in the car, which is the only time I direct it towards *people* (pedestrians and other drivers). I’m gonna have to stop because now that I live in the city, I’m biking a lot and discovering that it carries over . . . only now the pedestrians can hear me.
I love swearing – I’ll do it at work, at home, in front of my parents (but not my grandparents or in-laws), in the car…
I did have an extremely embarrassing moment a few years ago though related to swearing. My eldest daughter, at age 3, started saying ‘shit’ after hearing me say it A LOT, so I had to go to her child care centre and confess to her carers that if she started swearing like a sailor it was my fault.
Their solution was to teach the kids the word ‘donk’ to use instead of shit or fuck. To this day (4 years on) I find it an almost acceptable substitute. Not quite as satisfying as fuck but much more accepted in polite company.
After reading all of the religiously based cuss words, I just had to share. It appears my deity of choice is named Pete. (Honest to Pete. For Pete’s sake. I swear to Pete.) However, Pete’s consort Betsy has not made it into my lexicon. (Heavens to Betsy!) When did I turned into Stewart’s mom? (Because it comes out in that Minnesota accent, too…)
@Rodriguez. I learned the most foul curses in Spain. The “me cago en —” was by far the worst. LOL. I love horrifying people with that one.
Sugar is what my Dad used instead of shit when I started using it aged 2-3 (?). Crap is the first swear-word I learnt in junior school. Bog off is what I used instead of fuck/bugger/piss off. Speaking of which bugger is highly satisfying to say and ‘fucking hell’ is useful when appalled by how bad something is.
The thing I realised is that all my worst insults for men revolve around the penis and/or sexual habits e.g. ‘He’s such a dickhead/cock/wanker/tosser/fucker’. This has been causing me problems because well, I like to masturbate and to have sex, and since I am trying to train myself out of the religious-based guilt for those things, using those phrases now I keep getting hit with the thought of ‘why is having a wank a bad thing?’. Which leaves me stuck for words for highly annoying/nasty men. Damn it!
I’ve never used cunt as an expletetive and it always makes me cringe when I hear it. The way it’s used implies that a vagina is the worst possible thing to have and to be an owner of one, well why do you bother to exist? OTOH, it’s the one euphemism for my vuvla & vagina that I actually like. Slit/gash/pussy/fanny/minge all don’t sit well. They’re just not as good as dick/cock are.
Also, anyone else notice the genderfication of bitch/bastard for women/men who behave in ways that specifically displease us? It bothers me but again, both words just roll off the tongue so well!
My step-daughter has thankfully not picked up on the language that she hears from the adults in her life (including me – “Jesus Fucking Christ” is one of my favorites). Instead, she has emulated Sponge Bob and says “barnacles” and “tarter sauce”. Did I mention she’s the cutest kid in the world?!