We talked about candy last week, before I discovered that eating my beloved candy corn together with salted peanuts is EVEN MORE DELICIOUS. Why did no one tell me about this?
And now we’re going to talk about costumes, because duh, it’s Halloween.
I wasn’t really good at costumes as a kid. And I guess my mom wasn’t either, since that’s who puts in the real effort when it comes to making Halloween stuff, which was the norm when I was a trick-or-treater. She did make me a pretty sweet witch hat, though, which I wore approximately one zillion times. I am a costume recycler; once I had the stuff, I usually used it multiple times. I think I went as a present (wearing an enormous, gift-wrapped box) three years in a row. Ditto witch. Ditto gypsy. Weak sauce.
The Dude, on the other hand, had a crazy, novel costume every year. MamaDude was a total Halloween badass, and seeing the pictures of the Dude and his Sister in ornate, handmade, culturally-relevant-for-children get-ups over the years–the “Ghostbusters” logo! A Garbage Pail Kid!–always makes me marvel (and, yes, quiver with retroactive jealousy).
Last year, I had my shit together, and I pulled together a cop outfit and went as Officer Strunk of the Chicago Grammar Police to one party (which was a big hit with the nerds), and then as Marceline the Vampire Queen from the cartoon series Adventure Time. So, if I end up doing anything this year, I’ll pull out one of those and wear it. I wanted to dress up this year as Brünnhilde, from Wagner’s Die Walküre. I sketched it months ago, and started figuring out how I’d sew an “armored” bodice and fashion a spear and shield out of cardboard. (I am a big believer in the DIY aesthetic when it comes to Halloween. Renting stuff feels like cheating to me.)
But then I didn’t have any rad costume party invitations. And my money situation doesn’t have a lot of room for buying fabric and craft supplies. And I’m spending most of my free time looking and applying for jobs, which is arguably more important.
So, for this week’s FFT: I need some tales of costume awesomeness. Or hilarious costume shame, if you’re no longer scarred by the memories. Did you wear tie-on plastic smocks and itchy masks of cartoon characters? (I did. Bugs Bunny, when I was maybe 5.) Were you one of those wildly creative kids who came up with conceptual costumes that wowed your friends neighbors? And did you deal with the horror of having to wear your heavy coat over your costume, thereby ruining the entire effect? Man, I hated that.