Comments on: Why I Don’t Give A Flying Fuck about “Why You’re Not Married.”

By: Lars

Lars — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 16:24:47 +0000

I agree with Ms. M – the learning to take away from 25 years of marriage is that this is complex stuff. It’s one possible, with upsides and downsides. Works for me, but I’m certainly not going to pretend I know what’s right for others.

From the sound of it, Tracy McMillan fails to understand the complexity of long-term relationships. the effort requires, or does not want to accept the cost or compromises. So, while she might be born knowing how to *get* married, she apparently does not know how to *be* married – and while I can see why one might have “being married” as a goal, “getting married” is an absurd goal if you’re then not willing to invest what it takes to be married after the wedding.

By: veggiewood

veggiewood — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 22:48:33 +0000

As a woman who does want to get married and have a family, but would like to actually enjoy my husband and children, Liz’s ability to marry people with whom she is incompatible does not impress me. And not to sound judge-y, but I’m not sure a thrice divorced woman should be handing out such snarky relationship advice.

By: Es

Es — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 13:14:35 +0000

I hope Liz Jones really is performance art. That would be brilliant.

By: Sheeple Liberator

Sheeple Liberator — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 04:36:29 +0000

I’m in a de facto relationship. On two occasions, I have been grilled by US customs officials about why I am not married. They couldn’t understand why my spouse and I would possibly want to live and travel together without being married.

I totally agree with Drahill about the stupid single/married dichotomy. I think a lot of people have this ridiculous idea that as soon as you get married, something magic happens and your relationship transforms into something. (These are probably the same people who end up divorced 5 years later.)

By: BeckySharper

BeckySharper — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 20:59:07 +0000

@the Goldfish: Es is right, Liz Jones is bonkers. I think the Mail pays her to provide a spectacle…her misogyny and neuroses (some internalized and some not) are so flagrantly out there that they seem like a type of performance art. I sometimes wonder if she’s secretly the work of a clever writer satirizing the Mail’s penchant for hiring women to write articles that undermine or degrade women.

By: annimal

annimal — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 14:37:28 +0000

I’ve got cool friends, relatives and acquaintances so I don’t get this kind of shit from them, so it’s doubly annoying to get it from the media. Gah. First the crappy series of Atlantic articles and now this.
I guess the ‘mommy wars’ and ‘slutty teens’ stories weren’t doing so well so they had to mix it up a bit.
Dear Media,
Please STFU about women’s work, personal and reproductive choices.
Love,
Annimal

By: Es

Es — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 12:18:00 +0000

Liz Jones is a bit bananas though, Goldfish!! I fear her.

By: Skada

Skada — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 02:42:09 +0000

@MM — I agree *completely*.

By: The Goldfish

The Goldfish — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 22:51:55 +0000

I find this stuff utterly bewildering – perhaps especially when she’s had three failed marriages. Someone who married their childhood sweetheart and lived happily ever after might be naive enough to imagine that it’s the best choice – and a simple choice – for everyone.

I’d like to say that in the UK we don’t get this sort of thing, and certainly there’s a lot less emphasis on marriage, but then only last week we learnt that every woman in her late thirties – every one, no matter what you say – is a potential sperm thief.

By: mischiefmanager

mischiefmanager — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 22:09:01 +0000

Look, if you single women don’t get married, how are the rest of us supposed to ask you why you don’t dump that loser already?

This country has turned into a bunch of scolds. We could all use a healthy dose of MYOB.