From MSN I picked up a thought-provoking blogpost based on an article that originally ran in the Daily Mail (your reliable source of “news”, confessionals, fluff, and not-so-subtle misogyny). But this one caught my eye because we’ve talked about our names and naming trends before, and everyone had something to say.
From the blogpost:
Researchers at Humboldt University in Berlin sent email messages containing only names, ages and zipcodes (no pictures) to 47,000 British online dating members and found that certain names were much more likely to receive clicks than others. According to the study’s leader, Jochen Gebauer, “Mails sent from an Alexander were clicked on 102 percent more times than those from a Kevin.”
“Single people would seem to prefer to remain alone than meet up with someone called Kevin or Chantal,” he added. Yikes.
As I look at it, there are two major caveats: First, this study was conducted in the UK where names tend to have stronger class associations. Two, the way that dating sites are set up, you don’t usually know the person’s name until after the first initial contact. This study looks at given names, not usernames. Regardless, maybe there is something to the way we subconsciously react to names?
To recap, here are the names you should name your children if you want them to find love online: Jacob, Alexander, Charlotte, Emma, Hannah, Max, Marie, Peter, Mark. Here are the names you shouldn’t name you children if you want them to be accepted on British dating sites: Kevin, Justin, Marvin, Dennis, Mandy, Celina, Chantal, Jacqueline.
I’m sure this probably holds true somewhat in the US, too. Names can wave a red flag to racists; just ask someone named Latoya or Jamal. And I’d argue that there are still some prejudices about names that don’t sound “classy,” like Kandi or Tammy or Shawn. Even religion comes into play: I once had a friend meet a dude on-line who when he discovered her name—Christine—said he could never date her because he was Jewish and “couldn’t be with a woman who was named for Jesus Christ.” (Yeah, we rolled our eyes at that, too.)
What do you think? Are some names turn-ons or turn-offs? Have you ever been rejected outright for having the wrong name? Would a name turn you on or off someone, sight unseen? Is there a name that the man or woman of your dreams just couldn’t have? (Adolf would probably do it for me. Or Newt.)
A long time ago, I turned down a night of passion with a beautiful young man because he had the same name as my dad. (I should never have asked.)
I don’t have any experience with other dating websites but on e-Harmony (where I met my husband) you do see your matches’ first names right away. There was one name that I just couldn’t respond to. It wasn’t that there was anything wrong with the name itself, it’s just that both of my older sisters are married to guys named Steve (Stephen) and I as a result I couldn’t bring myself to date someone with that name.
Plus, if I had married someone named Steve that would have put enormous pressure on our youngest sister to find yet another Steve
I went through a Bob phase, then a Steve phase, then a ‘dudes who go by their middle name’ phase.
I think the only name that would be a huge turnoff would be Vince – I had a very annoying boss by that name once.
I tried online dating once. Never again. Try convincing a man online that you have a male-centric name and you are 1.) in fact, female and 2.) not a lesbian. People equate the name with the qualities of the person.
Not that I’m online dating, but based on my experience, dudes named Jeff will be sexy, flattering assholes, and I will pine for Chads who never requite my affection.
@PhDork – my first crush was on a Chad! Sadly he liked my best friend better (we were only 5 so this was less dramatic than it sounds).
I am 100% dudes with four-letter names (or the abbreviation that they go by), so far. Which is weird.
Despite never being one to call out someone’s name in the throes, I am a bit of a snob about people having a name that is call-outable without losing the moment and dissolving into giggles…
I do have aversions to names belonging to people I don’t like. I used to know an awful Lexy and the name Alexia is forever tainted!
I don’t have a problem with many names, esp. unusual ones are beautiful, but Larry, Vince, Candy, and Tiffany make the hairs on on my neck stand up.
I have a predisposition to like anyone with a warm two-syllable old-fashioned somewhat working class name of Howard, Roger, or Walter. I have no idea why.
Anyone named Steve starts with a deficit; every one I’ve known has been… a problem.
Well, Hanna and I get regular comments about the similarity and Hanna admits she worried we might never get together because our names were too similar …
I certainly have names that lose points by association. For example, I have yet to meet a Gavin that didn’t make me want to roll my eyes. Other than names with poor associations I’m just 100% with Es. It’s got to sound good in bed! This is actually a problem with my current sweetie, who might end up being my spouse… so we’ll see.
In college I dated six guys in a row named Chris or Kris. Christopher must have been the #1 name given to baby boys in the early 70s. Hey, at least if I yelled out my ex’s name in the throes of passion…
One of my girlfriends dated a guy whose name was Earth (he had some hippie-dippie parents). She reported that it took some getting used to.
@Anna: I have friends who are a (hetero) couple who are named Karol and Carol. They joke about it, but she deliberately kept her own last name when they married because she foresaw a bureaucratic nightmare if they had the same last name and merged finances, etc.
Isn’t there a chapter about American naming conventions in Freakonomics? IIRC, usually the rich come up with a name, then it filters down to the middle class, and from there the lower classes pick up on it.
@PhDork and bookworm81 – My first crush in school was also Chad. He did not feel the same.
I had a middle school boyfriend named Fred that I knew could never turn into True Love because….Fred.
The whole conversation reminds me of When Harry Met Sally. Do me big Sheldon!
As a Brit I have a problem with surnames as first names – Travis, Taylor, Jackson, Carson etc, I’ve just always found them a bit odd.
I actually am not at all fond of my husband’s name but found that that was irrelevant when I came to marry him. (Come to think of it I didn’t like my long term boyfriend prior to my husband’s name much either)
I love my son’s name but it’s Irish and confuses the hell out of most people in the US so I do occasionally regret it.
In my life I have been out with an awful lot of Ciarans, Daves, Euans and Patricks for some reason.
The male name “Nigel” just conjures up the childhood taunt “Nigel No-Friends”..
The female name “Monica”.. I dated a big bag of drama in the shape of person called “Monica”.. that name takes me back there..
so the names Monica and Nigel would be the only time I judged by people by their names and not the content of their character. (Though those other names listed in the article certainly have the potential to do that as well.)