Image Description: Image is a full-page magazine ad depicting a white, hetero couple in underwear only making out on a bed. Across the top third of the ad is the text “He’ll Scream Your Name. He’ll Forget His.” The images of the couple run across the middle third of the ad, in triptych form. Across the bottom third of the ad is the product information for something called “Masque: Sexual Flavors.” The information reads:
Masque (R) is first product proven to conceal any unpleasant flavors associated with pleasuring your man and his subsequent climax. These orally-dissolvable flavored gel strips will take the intimacy between you and your partner to the next level. Consider it a little extra magic while you work yours.
Hanna found this ad in a Marie Claire magazine at the hairdresser’s a couple of weeks ago, and insisted I tear it out and bring it home to share with a group of friends over dinner. Because, yes, this is the sort of thing we like to share with our friends.
A couple of things strike me about this product. The first is, obviously, the inherent amusement in all advertising around products that involve sex of some sort — they have to be explicit enough to get across that their product is about sex, but not explicit enough that they’re actually saying shit like: “If you don’t like the taste of your dude’s semen, we have the product for you!” Which, let’s face it, is what this Masque shit is all about: masking the taste of humans.
And, okay, stuff to make sexytimes smell and taste non-human has been around for a while. We’ve got scented douches to make our ladyparts more like flower gardens, and we’ve got chocolate you can paint on your breasts (yum!), and so on. So none of my observations here are particularly novel. But here’s what a room full of mostly queer gals observed about the marketing of this “sexual flavors” thing.
First, setting aside a small number of people for whom I imagine the taste of their love is a real and otherwise insuperable barrier to enjoying sex, I’d argue that coding the taste and smell of human sexuality as “unpleasant” in order to schill your product is not cool. Bodily fluids are not, it’s true, the sort of flavors you generally go looking for in your ice cream, but that’s not really the point. The point is that (most of the time) people think their lovers taste good because they associate the taste of their lovers with pleasure. It’s all one giant feedback loop. We like the scent and taste of our lovers when they’re aroused because that scent and taste tells us we’re doing things right, that it’s all going well. Over time, you get to learn what different scents and tastes tell you about a person’s stress levels, where they are in their hormone cycle, etc. All of this is valuable information, and pushing us to think it’s icky and that we should cover it up with artificial flavors means you lose the chance to learn how to read and respond to that data.
When you go to the website (yup, of course we did), you find out that this product is basically one of those little sheets of dissolvable gel you put on your tongue (like a breath mint strip), and it supposedly works to block your flavor receptors for bitter and salty tastes. The available flavors are mango, strawberry, watermelon, and chocolate — all with a slight menthol aftertaste, we’re told (ew!).
“So now you can have literal beer-flavored nipples!” One friend quipped (we all snorked into our chocolate stout).
“They should totally be making this shit in more earthy flavors — like beer and coffee,” another person suggested.
“Yeah,” I responded, “But do you seriously want a Pavlovian response to those flavors? Like, you’re standing in line at the coffee shop waiting for your morning latte and suddenly your panties are getting soaked?”
I don’t think I have a whole lot more to say about these sexual flavor strips, except that I feel sad that there’s a market for this product that’s being so explicitly marketed not as something that’s just a fun accessory — but something that will actually make the “unpleasant” parts of sex less icky. By purchasing a product to obscure what’s actually going on.
I’m taking away a different message: namely, that if the taste of a guy’s semen is unappealing to you, the solution is that it’s your responsibility to keep giving him oral sex and just buy a gel strip thing.
But, when Linger mints (whose actual website now seems defunct) became a thing, that was also marketed to cis women: want to get oral sex from your man? Use Linger mints to make your vagina taste wonderful!
I know the double standard is obvious and expected, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating. If your ladybits might not taste amazing, use a douche and/or Altoids-for-vulvas, but if your guy’s semen doesn’t taste amazing, *you* go buy a gel strip for you to use.
I don’t want equal opportunity body shaming; I just think it’s interesting in this Masque ad that it’s placing the responsibility on the partner (who is depicted as a woman).
@Skada — good point! I guess I didn’t consciously think about the double standard there, since I don’t experience that heteronormative pressure directly. But you’re totally right that when you look at body odor products side-by-side, they put the onus on women in both cases to make sex clean and hitch-free … another case of women’s invisible labor much?
Another thing we talked about over dinner was the way this flavor strip thing side-steps actual communication over likes/dislikes between partners. If (for whatever reason) you are uncomfortable going down on your partner, that would ideally spark a conversation about other ways to enjoy your sexuality that are enjoyable for both people. This is just a band-aid fix, it seems to me, and the result is a net loss for communication of needs, wants, likes, and so on.
I had much the same response as Skada.
To me this seems to be blatantly marketed to women as “To be a super hot SEXXXXY man-pleaser, you should let your man come in your mouth.” And if you don’t like the taste of jizz, we’ll sell you something to help you deal with that!
So yeah, I have a problem with that. Semen is usually very salty and can also taste bitter or chemical-y depending on whether the man smokes and what he eats/drinks, etc. And there can be quite a lot of it. I don’t have a huge problem with it myself, but a mouthful of semen is not every woman’s (or gay man’s) cup of tea. So implying that women should do YET ANOTHER thing that they might find distasteful simply to please their man…ugh.
To be fair, I have heard a lot of different dudes discussing the benefits of eating pineapple. While this product is marketed to women, I think more guys than one might think are concerned with their taste.
One thing that bothers me about this, actually, is that it’s an artificial way to eclipse something that can be a sign of bad health. Semen taste is very strongly connected to diet and responds rapidly to changes therein. Obviously some people are going to find a mouthful of come unpleasant no matter what but I feel like suggesting more veggies and less junk food (and meat) would be a good thing to try before going to the breath strips.
I don’t mind sexy fun times, especially all those sexy fun things that you can do with another person..
but the bit that has me seething, is that male oral sex is coded as an expected thing that occurs in hetero relationships. So to get around something that you might not like, there is no longer an excuse about the taste. This seems to further obscure people speaking about what they like or not when engaging in sexy fun times. Instead you do what is socially expected of you, and not what you like.
I guess I see it as humorous in the way that Anna mentions (the ad has to be sort of coy about what they’re selling), but I don’t see it as really problematic. If you already don’t talk to your partner about whether or not you like going down on him, then this product will not change that (or at least, I don’t see how it will “further obscure people speaking about what they like” as Mackey said). If you already do talk with him, then this may be something fun to try, or it may taste gross or be a waste of money, who knows. Same with lube. If you already aren’t talking about “hey, this isn’t comfortable for me, let’s get me wet first”, then there’s no magic communication fairy dust that will do the trick. I think the existence of lube and maybe this Masque stuff might even make it easier to initiate those kinds of conversations, just because they acknowledge those needs/desires. If the product was being marketed to men as “now she has no excuse not to go down on you” (or if lube were sold as “now she has to let you do anal sex”), then yeah, that would be wildly wrong. But what I’m seeing in the ad Anna posted and on the Masque website is basically “hey [white, thin, hetero] ladies, try our sexy fun product.”
and sorry for the double post, but I also wanted to respond to baraqiel’s comment about the veggies. My feeling (as a vegetarian dating a carnivore): I don’t need to suggest to my boyfriend that he eat more veggies– he’s seen a food pyramid and is fully aware of what a “healthy” diet is supposed to look like. He’s an adult and it’s not my job to nag him into eating “right”. If he asks for my support in eating healthfully, I’ll give it to him because I care about him, but I wouldn’t want to tie diet into our sex life. I am not totally sure what you were suggesting– I don’t think it was that I boycott blowjobs til he cuts back on the red meat– I think it was maybe using the taste as a diagnostic tool to tell if he’s healthy or not? It seems to me that a cholesterol screening at the doctor would be more scientific. If you’re just saying that switching diet would save the $4 per breath strip, you’re probably right, but I guess you could argue similar things about a lot of people’s sexual choices (e.g. sexy lingerie is a waste of money, or you don’t really need that toy, fingers work just as well).
Sorry, these comments sound like I’m defending the product, which I really have no interest in. I’m interested in trying to be clear and specific about what kinds of sexual advertising & sexual products are antifeminist and what aren’t.
@Jess: For me this advertising hits a lot of subtly anti-feminist notes because, as I said upthread, it’s pushing a product to women with the message that in order to please their man, they should do something that they might not actually like.
If this were a product being marketed to men as “Your jizz might not taste so good, why not help her out with these flavor strips?”—the way vagina mints Anna mentioned are marketed to women—I might be less dubious. But it’s not. It’s being sold to women with the message that overcoming discomfort or distaste something a woman has to do in order to be a good lover. The “problem” here, such as it is, is the woman’s problem to deal with.
Unlike lube, which makes sex better and easier for BOTH partners, this clearly is intended solely to make women more willing to do something they already know they don’t enjoy (because if they already enjoyed it, the product wouldn’t be necessary). It exists to enable male pleasure, not female.
Anti-femininist messages can come dressed up in all kinds of cute and funny packages, especially if you have a good ad agency at work. Often it’s only when you actually break down what they’re marketing and why that the anti-feminist slant becomes obvious.
I’d second what Becky says about the subtle sexism in marketing … an ad campaign like this can be humorous and ALSO reinforcing broader cultural messages about who is responsible in partnered, hetero sex for a “successful” encounter.
I don’t know, I actually would find it more suspicious if it were marketed toward men as Becky mentions because then I’d see more overtones of “here’s how you pressure her into doing something she’s reluctant to do”.
I agree with what was said above about the inequality of expectations as to responsibility for making hetero sex sexy, but to me the problem lies more on the side of the Linger mints and floral-scented douches because of how they align with the unending list of beauty rituals women are expected to do in our culture, and these seem not so bad.
I disagree that “this clearly is intended solely to make women more willing to do something they already know they don’t enjoy (because if they already enjoyed it, the product wouldn’t be necessary). It exists to enable male pleasure, not female.” because I know I enjoy giving oral sex to my partner, but don’t really love the taste. In the original post, Anna says that people in general like the taste of their lovers because they associate it with pleasure. I don’t think that has to be true. I enjoy the tactile sensations and the psychology of seeing his reactions, but the taste is not my favorite part. I personally would find fruit/chocolate/menthol kind of distracting but maybe some people wouldn’t.
@jess – I think you read in a little bit more than I was intending. I’m not suggesting that people nag their partners. However, many, many cismen really enjoy getting blowjobs and would like to remove any roadblocks that they can control (e.g. in my experience many men would be more willing to shave/trim their pubes to make blowjob-giving more comfortable and therefore more frequent than they would be to shave for, for example, aesthetics). I’m just saying that if someone finds their partner’s taste to be a problem they could ask them to adjust their diet slightly and see if that helps. Many guys would be willing to try this, because they like getting head probably more than they like bacon cheeseburgers.
@Jess – where I have a problem with the ad, is that if it was about sexy fun times for hetero couples (or even gay men) why is it deliberately targetted to women, and not say to the couple (whether it be hetero, or gay male couplings).
Because the target in the ad, from how I read it, is women. And what the ad also does, from my perspective, is imply that male oral sex is a necessary part of hetero “love-making” to create a deeper intimacy.
Yes there is some humour in the way the ad speaks about this particular issue of jizz tasting bad, without ever saying this is the case.
The coding of male oral sex as equated to creating deeper intimacy in hetero couplings, negates a hetero couple negotiating how they deepen their intimacy especially in the case where the female partner does not enjoy giving blow jobs, and now can longer, technically, say that they don’t like the taste. The ad also functions to suggest that a female partner in a hetero relationship saying that they do no like to give blow jobs does not want to create a deeper intimacy with their male partner.
It is a humourous ad, but the ad also functions to normalise and expect particular activities from hetero couples, when it may not be the case.
Mackey-
I’m with you there. I agree that the ad implicitly assumes that everyone wants to do blow jobs. The ad is saying “if you love giving blow jobs but dislike the taste, try our product.” It isn’t claiming to solve any other problems, so for people who dislike giving blow jobs for any reason other than taste, I think the ad isn’t really speaking to them. I guess you could say it is ignoring their existence. That’s a limitation of any ad, though, right? Like an ad for running shoes isn’t going to have a disclaimer saying “for people who just aren’t interested in running, don’t worry, no pressure, you don’t have to do this.” Their ad is going to be full of conventionally attractive models who all make it look like running is cool, healthy, and fun, and everyone should try it. So is this worse because it ties into cultural expectations about women performing sex to please men? Possibly, I guess. Since I’m coming from the angle of “giving oral sex is fun but the taste is the only bad part”, I read it as a simple “try our product”, and I figured that people coming from an angle of “I never want to give oral sex no matter what” would simply read it as “not for me,” but I guess you’re right that it might be harder to ignore this kind of message than one trying to sell you shoes or computers or diet pills or anything else you’re not interested in buying.
@Jess – I think maybe I’m not being clear in what I’m writing. I don’t think the ad assumes that everyone wants to give blow jobs. I think the ad assumes that blow jobs are an integral part of hetero couplings and are an integral feature to deepening intimacy between the hetero couple.
This then places, in this case, a social pressure on hetero women to give blow jobs, and sidesteps the issue of whether or not a hetero woman would like to give a blowjob to her partner. (Thereby also lessening the role of communication in couples working out how they engage in sexy fun times and what works for them..)
What is interesting is especially in terms of the words that are used. There is no indication one way or another of a hetero woman possibly enjoying giving blow jobs. The written words are all about the man’s pleasure and climax. And say nothing about the possibility of a woman also enjoying giving a blow job. Instead a woman’s pleasure is not addressed, and there is an underlying assumption that women engaging in blow jobs do so (to use their words) “deepen intimacy” (not necessarily for mutual pleasure).
No where does it indicate that everyone wants to give blow jobs. Instead it is clearly focussed on male pleasure, and ways to deal with any associated displeasure of the taste of his jizz.
Got it. Thanks for explaining– that’s different from what I originally thought you were saying. Yes, I definitely agree with you that the ad doesn’t talk about the woman’s enjoyment one way or the other. I am not sure if it would be better if it featured a woman talking about her pleasure, or if then there would be concern that that pressures everyone else to pretend they like it even if they don’t.
Jess, what you said in your last comment reminds me of something I’ve been thinking lately: sometimes a group (in this case, women) is so deeply marginalized, and there are so many layered stereotypes of and pressures on them, that no matter how you change something (in this case, the advertisement), it still ends up being problematic.
That, in and of itself, is discouraging — thinking that any number of re-writes to this ad would still end up touching on (and/or playing into) this harmful cultural narratives, because they’re just so damned pervasive. =\
@Skada and Jess – thanks for the thought provoking discussion.. Skada, your last comment is quite interesting, and is one I’m going to think further on..
FYI, the product works, or at least the mango one does. My wife likes giving me “partial” bj’s but not “full” ones, regardless of what she does with the end result afterwards, and I drink pineapple juice daily and avoid things like onions, broccoli, and coffee. I’d have to say the marketing worked because she saw the ad in a magazine, brought it home, and said she’d try it if I buy it. I did, and she’s already done what this product is for more times in the past few months than in the 18 years we’ve been together (and with no towel needed). I don’t usually like “mango-flavored” things, but I like the taste of the strip when kissing her afterwards, and I’m the type that would kiss her after anyway even without the strip (not type as in bi, but as in not a hypocrite).