Comments on: A Real Thing in the World: “Sexual Flavors”

By: Ender Wiggin

Ender Wiggin — Mon, 14 May 2012 15:58:03 +0000

FYI, the product works, or at least the mango one does. My wife likes giving me “partial” bj’s but not “full” ones, regardless of what she does with the end result afterwards, and I drink pineapple juice daily and avoid things like onions, broccoli, and coffee. I’d have to say the marketing worked because she saw the ad in a magazine, brought it home, and said she’d try it if I buy it. I did, and she’s already done what this product is for more times in the past few months than in the 18 years we’ve been together (and with no towel needed). I don’t usually like “mango-flavored” things, but I like the taste of the strip when kissing her afterwards, and I’m the type that would kiss her after anyway even without the strip (not type as in bi, but as in not a hypocrite).

By: Mackey

Mackey — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 07:57:04 +0000

@Skada and Jess – thanks for the thought provoking discussion.. Skada, your last comment is quite interesting, and is one I’m going to think further on..

By: Skada

Skada — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 02:32:47 +0000

Jess, what you said in your last comment reminds me of something I’ve been thinking lately: sometimes a group (in this case, women) is so deeply marginalized, and there are so many layered stereotypes of and pressures on them, that no matter how you change something (in this case, the advertisement), it still ends up being problematic.

That, in and of itself, is discouraging — thinking that any number of re-writes to this ad would still end up touching on (and/or playing into) this harmful cultural narratives, because they’re just so damned pervasive. =\

By: jess

jess — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 22:16:24 +0000

Got it. Thanks for explaining– that’s different from what I originally thought you were saying. Yes, I definitely agree with you that the ad doesn’t talk about the woman’s enjoyment one way or the other. I am not sure if it would be better if it featured a woman talking about her pleasure, or if then there would be concern that that pressures everyone else to pretend they like it even if they don’t.

By: Mackey

Mackey — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 07:48:26 +0000

@Jess – I think maybe I’m not being clear in what I’m writing. I don’t think the ad assumes that everyone wants to give blow jobs. I think the ad assumes that blow jobs are an integral part of hetero couplings and are an integral feature to deepening intimacy between the hetero couple.
This then places, in this case, a social pressure on hetero women to give blow jobs, and sidesteps the issue of whether or not a hetero woman would like to give a blowjob to her partner. (Thereby also lessening the role of communication in couples working out how they engage in sexy fun times and what works for them..)

What is interesting is especially in terms of the words that are used. There is no indication one way or another of a hetero woman possibly enjoying giving blow jobs. The written words are all about the man’s pleasure and climax. And say nothing about the possibility of a woman also enjoying giving a blow job. Instead a woman’s pleasure is not addressed, and there is an underlying assumption that women engaging in blow jobs do so (to use their words) “deepen intimacy” (not necessarily for mutual pleasure).

No where does it indicate that everyone wants to give blow jobs. Instead it is clearly focussed on male pleasure, and ways to deal with any associated displeasure of the taste of his jizz.

By: jess

jess — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 01:17:13 +0000

Mackey-
I’m with you there. I agree that the ad implicitly assumes that everyone wants to do blow jobs. The ad is saying “if you love giving blow jobs but dislike the taste, try our product.” It isn’t claiming to solve any other problems, so for people who dislike giving blow jobs for any reason other than taste, I think the ad isn’t really speaking to them. I guess you could say it is ignoring their existence. That’s a limitation of any ad, though, right? Like an ad for running shoes isn’t going to have a disclaimer saying “for people who just aren’t interested in running, don’t worry, no pressure, you don’t have to do this.” Their ad is going to be full of conventionally attractive models who all make it look like running is cool, healthy, and fun, and everyone should try it. So is this worse because it ties into cultural expectations about women performing sex to please men? Possibly, I guess. Since I’m coming from the angle of “giving oral sex is fun but the taste is the only bad part”, I read it as a simple “try our product”, and I figured that people coming from an angle of “I never want to give oral sex no matter what” would simply read it as “not for me,” but I guess you’re right that it might be harder to ignore this kind of message than one trying to sell you shoes or computers or diet pills or anything else you’re not interested in buying.

By: Mackey

Mackey — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 22:43:59 +0000

@Jess – where I have a problem with the ad, is that if it was about sexy fun times for hetero couples (or even gay men) why is it deliberately targetted to women, and not say to the couple (whether it be hetero, or gay male couplings).

Because the target in the ad, from how I read it, is women. And what the ad also does, from my perspective, is imply that male oral sex is a necessary part of hetero “love-making” to create a deeper intimacy.

Yes there is some humour in the way the ad speaks about this particular issue of jizz tasting bad, without ever saying this is the case.

The coding of male oral sex as equated to creating deeper intimacy in hetero couplings, negates a hetero couple negotiating how they deepen their intimacy especially in the case where the female partner does not enjoy giving blow jobs, and now can longer, technically, say that they don’t like the taste. The ad also functions to suggest that a female partner in a hetero relationship saying that they do no like to give blow jobs does not want to create a deeper intimacy with their male partner.

It is a humourous ad, but the ad also functions to normalise and expect particular activities from hetero couples, when it may not be the case.

By: baraqiel

baraqiel — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 18:39:15 +0000

@jess – I think you read in a little bit more than I was intending. I’m not suggesting that people nag their partners. However, many, many cismen really enjoy getting blowjobs and would like to remove any roadblocks that they can control (e.g. in my experience many men would be more willing to shave/trim their pubes to make blowjob-giving more comfortable and therefore more frequent than they would be to shave for, for example, aesthetics). I’m just saying that if someone finds their partner’s taste to be a problem they could ask them to adjust their diet slightly and see if that helps. Many guys would be willing to try this, because they like getting head probably more than they like bacon cheeseburgers.

By: jess

jess — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 17:02:12 +0000

I don’t know, I actually would find it more suspicious if it were marketed toward men as Becky mentions because then I’d see more overtones of “here’s how you pressure her into doing something she’s reluctant to do”.
I agree with what was said above about the inequality of expectations as to responsibility for making hetero sex sexy, but to me the problem lies more on the side of the Linger mints and floral-scented douches because of how they align with the unending list of beauty rituals women are expected to do in our culture, and these seem not so bad.
I disagree that “this clearly is intended solely to make women more willing to do something they already know they don’t enjoy (because if they already enjoyed it, the product wouldn’t be necessary). It exists to enable male pleasure, not female.” because I know I enjoy giving oral sex to my partner, but don’t really love the taste. In the original post, Anna says that people in general like the taste of their lovers because they associate it with pleasure. I don’t think that has to be true. I enjoy the tactile sensations and the psychology of seeing his reactions, but the taste is not my favorite part. I personally would find fruit/chocolate/menthol kind of distracting but maybe some people wouldn’t.

By: annajcook

annajcook — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 14:21:03 +0000

I’d second what Becky says about the subtle sexism in marketing … an ad campaign like this can be humorous and ALSO reinforcing broader cultural messages about who is responsible in partnered, hetero sex for a “successful” encounter.