I didn’t know who Frank Ocean was until his name started appearing all over my dash along with words like “is gay” and “comes out.”
Actually, as you’ve probably gathered by now, it’s a wee bit more complicated — and in my opinion, brilliant — than that. Something Jay Smooth suggests might even be a game changer in the way we talk about peoples’ sexual desires and relationships.
As someone who experiences my own sexuality in ways that don’t seem to fit into the neat and fixed identity categories our culture has developed to contain desire, it’s lovely to see our collective conversation moving in this direction.
I think it’s possible for us to honor the experience of people for whom strong sexual inclinations feel like an innate core of their being, a driving force of their identity, alongside the experience of folks for whom sexual experience is more particular, contextual, relational, fluid.
I really hope that those of us who desire a more expansive vision of human sexuality (anything outside of heteronomativity) will be able to work together toward a more inclusive future, rather than policing each other along the identity vs. fluidity boundary lines.