The Billboard Family

No, it’s not a crappy new CW sitcom.  It’s what a midwestern family has decided to brand themselves as, as they brand their bodies–and those of their kids–with t-shirts from whatever corporate overlord will pay them to do so.

They’re not the first–there is the “I’ll Wear Your Shirt” guy–but they’re making it a family affair!  Awwww.

While I understand (and am sensitive to) the fact that this is a real way of making real money here in Late Capitalist USA, I seriously want to vomit when I hear stuff like this.  For all of the pissing on service providers (from retail clerks to teachers) and whining that “boo hoo, we don’t make anything in this country anymore!,”  we seem to have no compunction when it comes to reducing ourselves to objects in the service of MegaCorp.

Certainly, there are some people (including one junior-high-aged Dorklet) who choose to wear corporate logos–nay, they insist upon it!–and pay for the “privilege,” so maybe getting paid by the corporation for it is a step up.

Or maybe it’s a sign that we are just breaths away from losing our souls and thinking of ourselves first, last, and always, as consumers, or worse: products.

Or maybe it’s a sign that I am a communist crackpot who needs to put on my big-girl, high-end-denim pants with conspicuous pocket-stitching, and give myself over to the pleasure of The Free Market, where even your fetus can shill for a day spa!   Wheeee!